If housework is such drudgery, why should we expect men to do more of it?

Question

It seems that some of the work of the feminism of the 60's and 70's was to impress upon everyone how dull, horrible, unfulling, etc., the work of the household is (including childrearing). Supposedly, any bright woman who does these things is "wasting" her intelligence.

But now everyone has realized that the housework still needs to be done. The solution? Get men to do half of it. But why would men voulenteer to do something that supposedly is such a waste of time? Wouldn't we have better luck getting men to help with the house if we hadn't just spent years telling everyone what a waste of time it is? I would guess that after claiming that it's not very important, well, they believed us.

Answer 1

You make an astute point.

I do all my own housework and it's not such a big deal. I also shared chores pretty equally with previous partners.

But I think it is absurd to make the choices that couples make in managing their lives into a political issue and this is one of the more absurd forms of feminist rhetoric.

Guess what, feminists: equal opportunity in education and employment, equal access to health care and housing, equal right to participate in the political process are all political issues because these are the basic goods that all people, regardless of their person conception of the good life, need to flourish and take part in civic life.

Equal participation in housework is something couples negotiate as suits their aptitudes, the temperaments, the importance they attach to the work being done, and how much of a priority they place on housework vs. other concerns. It's no one else's business and it makes feminists look like fools - or FASCISTS - when they project their own ideas about relationships onto everyone else.

EDIT

Priscilla, here's the thing. And it may be merely stylistic or it may be substantive, depending on the feminist, but when feminists list concerns related to law and public policy, e.g. employment discrimination and violence against women, and the put unequal housework on the same list, when they then identify all of these under the rubric of "demanding equality", it is perfectly reasonable to interpret that as POLITICIZING private matters between couples. (And some feminists embrace that conclusion with slogans like, "The personal is political").

Demanding that laws against employment discrimination and violence against women be enacted and those which exist be enforced is a legitimate political demand. "Demanding" that statistics on housework change is an intrusion of ideas about equality into other people's lives. And it does smack of fascism.

EDIT

First of all, "the personal is political" is NOT a "discovery", which makes it sound as though that were a finding of some empirical science. rather it is a slogan, and proposal for an alternative way of viewing political affairs.

And it is destructive.

By the way, the Nazis also believe that the person is political. So did the Soviets. Apparently, so does the Bush administration, when they are using grocery store data to track purchases of falafel to identify terrorists.

Don't forget that feminists ALSO emphasize the "right to privacy" when it comes to abortion issues, the idea being that the government has no business in certain areas of people's lives.

The government has come to recognize that the right of human beings to be protected from physical violence doesn't stop at the front door or the bedroom. This is a reasonable extension of a compelling interest against an arbitrary boundary that served only to protect those who would trample of people's basic rights.

The issue of housework doesn't even rise CLOSE to such a compelling interest!

EDIT

And thank you for confirming for Priscilla that there ARE those who would politicize such matters!

EDIT

incidentally, while I often agree with you, equating the unequal distribution of chores with RAPE is moral idiocy that boggles the mind.

Answer 2

IMO, men needing to doing more housework has nothing to do with "feminism". It has to do with the real fact that the gender roles that used to be firmly in place for both men AND women are no longer firmly in place. It's true that housework can be dull and unfulfilling. But tell anyone who has come home from a long day's work to a nasty house that housework isn't important and they will laugh in your face. The fact is that all adults in a household contribute to the mess, so all adults should help clean it up.

My husband doesn't have the choice to "volunteer" to do housework, just like I didn't have the option to "volunteer" to support the household while his business is starting out. I have a career, and I'm happy to support my family because I do it well, and I'm happy to split the housework, too.

Answer 3

That's an interesting point you make.
The only reason why women are more inclined to have to do housework is because it's been conditioned in everyone's minds for the past 1,000 generations that it's "women's work". I think that's also part of why men don't want to do it. Not only is it something that no one wants to do anyway, but it's also thought of by men as something that they shouldn't even have to do in the first place. But in today's society where women work just as much as men, there really is no logical reason why women should get stuck with all the housework.
Who knows what the solution is? (besides becoming wealthy and hiring a maid)

Answer 4

In my own household we view housework as a shared responsibility: I do my part by cooking healthy meals to keep my family healthy, doing the washing and the cleaning as much as I possibly can. My man does the same things, when I am too busy at work, and he can tell just how tired I am. He can tell when I need help and he offers it freely. Our family is a very well oiled engine: we make a great team ( we help each other all the time ). I've heard once that it is a great talent to be able to balance your life, family and career, but rewards are bountiful. I am a true believer in a great partnership for any marriage: when you stop playing a blaming game and get your priorities straight as a family, you can handle anything in this world. I personally did try to be a housewife, when my daughter was born. It was not for me. Somehow, I needed more. It turned out I am able to handle it. I also can promise you that my family is much happier with fruits of my labor. I am simply able to offer my child so much more in so many ways now that I am successful and happy. My point is: do not judge career mothers and their ability to live by choices they have made, because you simply have no idea how hard that is.

Answer 5

We should all put our efforts into improving upon the automation of housework.
I mean devices which accomplish this regularly for us.
Robot vacuums are a step in the right direction.
How about counters that clean themselves somehow?
How about those windows that use electicity to statically clean window panes?
Air systems that keep dust out of the air so it doesnt settle.
Systems that move trash to a central place by the street.
Organizational systems.

Jetsons all the way!
Im all for a semi-intelligent robot-house-keeper!

Answer 6

I would argue that it wasn't so much women were denigrating housework as it was Corporate America.

Corporate America spent years telling women that it was unfulfilling, and that they needed to get careers in the work place in order to be 'modern women'.

Now I'm not against anyone working outside the house that wants to work outside the house. But I will say this: In the 50's the woman typically did stay at home, and the standard of living (for Caucasians anyways) was high.

Now both spouses typically work outside the home - and is the standard of living any better?

Some would argue it's worse...

Answer 7

I am not sure I understand your question 100%. I certainly dont like doing housework, however, I also understand that women have career goals which are probably similar to what I have. If I were to let her do all the work, I am in esence puttting a constraint on her from reaching those goals, so as much as I hate doing house work, I would take on some duties so that my GF/Wife could also meet some of her dreams.

Answer 8

No one said it wasn't important. No one wants to live in a pig pen. It's necessary and it would be nice if both partners shared in the responsibility especially if both work out of the house.

Answer 9

The views of the 60's had more to do with the fact that women had no other choices than housework. Even when men contribute they get to do the fun stuff like mowing the lawn while women get the repetitious every day stuff like dishes.
Third wave feminism recognizes the importance of mothering and motherhood and is reembracing the feminine roles. Check out Mothers and Daughters by O'Reilly and Abbey. Interesting reading.

Answer 10

well house work needs to be done period. now don't mean to be biased but as long as the woman also does other tasks deemed more for men....landscaping, hauling out trash, painting & sealing repairs, change vehicle motor oil, etc...

btw I just can't wash dishes cause mama told me I'll go blind if I do! lolol