My ex and I became friends over the years. We became friends mostly because our children deserved civil parents. I had to become strong within myself so not to allow him to intimidate me, which I have. I still feel it sometimes, but my exterior has grown cold and intimidating when I feel backed into a corner. I do want to be supportive of him and his family and I do like being friends with all of them, I just do not want to be intimate in anyway with him. I like his girlfriends when we meet at family functions (our children and extended family are close).
My question is: recently we talked on the cell phone and apparently I did not hit the end button on my new phone after saying good-bye to him. He called me the next day to tell me that he kept the connection open and listened to me for over an hour. I asked him why and he just said he wanted to make sure I was ok. We have been divorced for a loooooong time, this wastes my minutes and I felt like he was violating my privacy even though I did nor said anything that affects him one way or another. He did things like this when we were married that led to my seeking out support from the local women’s crisis center, and back then he would use the incident to accuse me of something then try to pry information from me.
2007-11-07 12:06:27 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It wouldn't bother me. I don't want to waste my time and energy being angry about things that don't matter.
2007-11-07 12:10:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would not let it bother me on one hand, but I would be thankful that I was rid of him and be more careful in the future. I wonder if your self esteem might have suffered a bit because of the relationship with him from some of what you said so a good site you may get something out of is As a man thinketh - link below .
You can also build up your strength by changing the way you write - or tell a lot about others by the way they write as well for future relationships by going to handwriting wizard. Check out the two sites I will give you and if your minutes are free after a certain time, I think if he called after that time I would set the phone down next to a radio or if a female friend is there I would get a great laugh out of a fake orgasm for him to listen to and when he said anything tell him that is what he gets for listening whe he shouldn't be. Good luck to you!!
2007-11-07 20:43:29 · answer #2 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
that is an invasion of privacy and I would tell him in NO uncertain terms, that you cannot possilbely maintain a civil realationship with him if he continues to behave in a civil fashion. that is NOT a civil way to behave. I would also say that your children deserve a good relationship between the two of you, so if he is tempted to do such a thing again, than he should stop and think of the kids. When he does those things, it ruins the friendship which affects the kids
that is very high school and something that a controlling person would do
2007-11-07 20:12:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Old habits die hard. Just because you are not with him doesn't mean that he doesn't still want to control you. It isn't about love or anything else. It's control, plain and simple. Don't let him do it. Obviously, something is giving him the idea that he still has some measure of control over you. Maybe friendship isn't a good idea. "Friendship" and "civil" are not the same thing. Maybe you should work on "civil" only.
2007-11-07 20:14:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like there is more to this story than what you are telling. It's hard to say, because just the fact that he said that he did that because he wanted to make sure you were ok sounds like he had reasons to believe you were not, and was genuinely concerned.
2007-11-07 20:28:48 · answer #5 · answered by matt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he always did it and started doing it again and it bothers you( it would bother me) try to keep it a point to always end any communication properly. don't let it become an obsession though
2007-11-07 20:20:54 · answer #6 · answered by dearmeohmy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It would bother me. But yelling and getting angry wouldn't solve much if he's been dong this for ever.
Have you tried not calling him or answering his calls?
Or check the phone's off if you do call him/he calls you.
2007-11-07 20:17:01 · answer #7 · answered by Bess 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its him playing games and wouldnt put too much into it, he cant do all that to you again unless you let him, and this i would let go and tell him whatever.... and leave it at that
2007-11-07 20:28:06 · answer #8 · answered by Renee 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋