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I work on a oil rig and i am gone alot. So i depend on her to take care of the house and watch over the kids which she is doing a dam good job at it.But i wonder if I am pulling my weight around the house I try to help as much as i can I help wash clothes I sometimes cook when I know she has had a bad day but is that enough are do i need to try to do more

2007-11-07 11:48:29 · 27 answers · asked by dcstogner 2 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

She doesn't complain, in fact she gets mad when I do things around the house. I just sometimes fee like I'm not doing enough.

2007-11-07 11:56:38 · update #1

27 answers

As long as your helping that should make her happy

2007-11-07 11:51:16 · answer #1 · answered by Backhoe 7 · 0 0

Well, the biggest problem of not being home is not that you aren't sharing in the chores when you get home. As a trucker I did the same thing, came home and did the dishes, my own laundry as well as everyone else's along with mine. I caught up on all the repairs and went over the budget with her so she doesn't feel like a whore who is just watching the kids. I found that getting involved with the kids was more important than getting involved with her. I go over with the kids on what their responsibilities are and dish out the punishment immediately. I go over each and everyone's homework and help them finish it with focusing on them getting an "A" on the work. Kids now-a-days are not taught "how" to study, and to which level a paper or project must be completed. Yes, it sounds like we are doing the homework for them, but, at the same time they are learning not only how it's done, but, what constitutes a poor job and a great job. My wife's stress level is cut in half when I take responsibility for the kids classwork.

2007-11-07 12:38:44 · answer #2 · answered by delux_version 7 · 0 0

This is kind of a hard question to answer. I think only your wife can answer that.
Since you said she doesn't want you doing anything,she's probably happy with the effort you are making.
I would suggest you continue doing what you do and more if you can, like cleaning up after the kids, asking her to take a break while you watch the kids e.t.c.

I liked the comment you made about your wife doing a damn good job with the house and the kids. You need to constantly let her know that. It makes us feel good when a man appreciates that. She's lucky to have you.

2007-11-07 13:01:45 · answer #3 · answered by belle k 2 · 0 0

Our situation is similar. My hubby is in the military and also gone a LOT. It's the life I married into, so I have no complaints...I knew what I was getting into from day one.

Truthfully, what would "help" me more than anything ISN'T "help". If your wife is like me, she probably feels as though you don't cook or clean as well as she does, so housework isn't the real issue. Instead of lots of "help", how about lots of "appreciation". Buy her a day at a spa, a bouquet of long, lovely flowers, a real "date" ( - a new dress, a show, a nice dinner and a babysitter). How about a weekend getaway (not necessarily expensive, just AWAY)? And the open, honest words expressing your appreciation would go very far in letting her know she is doing a damn good job, as you say.

Your wife is no doubt happy with you and her life, you'd know it if she weren't, and how wonderful of you to be concerned about helping. But try making her understand that you appreciate what she does without you. That would be the biggest "help".

2007-11-07 12:02:11 · answer #4 · answered by artistagent116 7 · 0 0

If she isn't complaining that means all is well. I think you are a good husband for wanting to help out. She knows you work hard at your job that is why she would like to see you relaxing. A man that cooks. That's great. I wish you and your family a long happy life together. Yes you are doing enough and more than enough.

2007-11-07 12:03:49 · answer #5 · answered by Sunset 7 · 0 0

You work to support her and the kids, and helping out around the house is very good of you. But a woman loves to feel special and loved more than anything you could do around the house. Remember you can never tell her enough how much she means to you, how much you love her and what a great job she does.

2007-11-07 11:58:08 · answer #6 · answered by sweet_sativa 1 · 0 0

i assume you're making good money on the oil rig, so if you are feeling a little guilty, consider having a cleaning service come to the house every other week (or more if you can afford it). you usually pay about $50 visit. this will help your wife out, give her some time to herself, and you can frame it by saying, "honey, i love you so much and i appreciate everything you do. i want you to have a break every once in a while."

2007-11-07 12:08:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I'm sure that your wife and kids appreciate every thing that you do. If she gets irritated at you for doing things around the house then it's probably because she feels like you think she isn't doing a good job and it might make her feel guilty. You should be taking your time at home to spend with her and the kids.

2007-11-07 12:05:02 · answer #8 · answered by wildeyes_heart_of_stone 3 · 0 0

Serious question. I think you should always try to do more. But make it seem natural. Depends on the type of person your wife is. You should know more than anyone else. Do something she won't expect some times. If she always watches over the kids, you do it for a few days. Of course to some women time is everything. And to others it's just quality time. Just try to make her happy. Happy wife, happy life. :).

2007-11-07 11:55:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Awwww you are just so sweet maybe you should talk to my man because he works all day and I have to clean up every single mess he makes-->but I love him:).

I think you are doing fine by just helping here and there like you are doing now, especially when she has a bad day. Now if she had a job too I would say do more but I think that it is her duty to take care of things since your working and she is not.

2007-11-07 11:54:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

you sound great if only everyone's husbands were as help full as you. tell her you appreciate what she does when your away. And basically listen to her. ask her if there's anything you can do for her to help out maybe take the kids for the day to give her some space women really appreciate that when they have had the responsibility of home and family on their own. good luck

2007-11-07 12:00:24 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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