I know this is the wrong place to ask but... I need to know?

Question

I really want to know what this would be considered... Just plain sex or... would it be considered forced.

My ex/father of my child used to have sex with me while I was sleeping. The first time he told me, and said he just wanted to see if I would wake up, but the other times [he continued even though I told him that I did not want him to ever do that again and how i felt extremely violated] I woke up to him doing it and all he did was kind of laugh and say isnt it great to wake up like that. He knew how much I hated it and that I didnt want to have sex with him.
I dont know if it matters but we were both 17 at the time.

Then there is this...After he turned 18, the day he left me pregnant and alone we had sex. [i didnt know he was leaving he had promised me that he wasnt]. i was 17 at the time. At first I didnt want to have sex and then he kinda started i stopped him and then he convinced me to.So, yes I did consent but I want to know if because of my age if it was legal? or...

Thank you to everyone!
Yes, I was an extremely heavy sleeper, that is why he tried it to begin with because he knew I never woke up to anything so he figured I wouldnt for that either.

I am not necessarly trying to get him in jail its just been bothering me not knowing what it was.

But if were to, would it make a difference of the fact that while we were together he slept with 2 15 year old girls and 2 fourteen year olds while he was 17... which here that is ILLEGAL! also now his current girl friend is only 16 and then are sleeping together...

Would the courts use that as well to prove he is messed up and what he did is wrong.

Yes we were sharing a bed but it was the middle of the day for most of the times. We took naps together. No, my parents did not ALLOW us to. They didnt know it was happening, nor do they know it happened.

Answer 1

The best thing you can do is see a lawyer. Sounds to me like you would have a good case.

Answer 2

The sleeping sex WOULD be considered forced. Key words: "he continued even though I told him that I did not want him to ever do that again...." after him doing it again, and you waking up to him, you should have told him again that even though some people like waking up to sexual acts being performed to them, you do not, and told him AGAIN not to ever repeat the act.

The second part DEPENDS ON YOUR STATE LAW. Some states have a 3-year consent range (to which you could have been 14 and he 17, and it would have been legal), some states have a 16-year-old consent age (as long as you're 16 or older it's consentual), and some states have other laws. What state were you living in at the time? I'd be happy to find out for you if you're looking at pressing charges, but there's a statute of limitation on that, so watch out for taking too long.

Answer 3

Yes, it was legal. He's a TOTAL JERK, but being a jerk isn't illegal, and the age of consent in most states is 16. In your case, they generally have statues that make it legal for teens to have sex if one is underage, and one is over as long as there are no more than two years difference in the ages. Statutory rape is defined as consensual sexual intercourse between a male and a female, one of whom is under the age of CONSENT...not under the age of 18.

I hate to say this hon...we've all made mistakes, but sometimes you just have to admit to yourself that you made the wrong choice by not sticking to your guns... and move on. It's understandable at age 17. You don't HAVE the same confidence to say 'no' and mean it, as you will when you're older. What I mean is...at 17, you're more easily convinced to do things you don't really want to do. You let him talk you into having sex even though you didn't want to, and you stayed with him (under no threats) after he had sex with you while you slept...and you regret it. Okay, so you've learned. Next time, you'll be more firm when you say 'no' and you won't let him, or any other guy twist your arm.

Now, on another note...GET that child support. Do not let him give you some sob story about how he can't pay support. He'll be convincing. You already know he has that ability. Don't buy it. Get the support you need for the baby. It won't be much because of his age and the fact that he probably doesn't make much, but...at least he'll be paying his due percentage!

Answer 4

I am not sure about the second scenerio - even though he manipulated you, you still said yes.. and you being 17 and him 18 - is not illegal..

The sleeping sex -- that could be another story.. how could you consent while asleep.. I would say that is a form of rape.. especially since you told him you did not like it.. and this proves he has some big issues.. perhaps he was molested as a child and this is what he associates sex with... perhaps he is just a loser and having sex while you sleep someone protects his fear of rejection..

either way - keep him away from your kid.. he is sick and you are not responsible for making him better... protect yourself and be strong for yourself and your child.

Answer 5

My sicko ex-husband use to have sex with me while I was sleeping too! I honestly wouldn't think this thing is possible, but I'm such a HEAVY sleeper, he would start and I'd wake up part way through. I couldn't get a 200+ pound man off of me. I told him to never do it again too, as I felt violated too, but he kept doing it until I left him. I considered it sex against my wishes. I'd wake up and tell him to stop too. I'd consider what your ex did to you sex against your wishes too.
As for the sex on the day he left you, google the statuatory rape in your state to see what it says in my state (PA), I'm pretty sure that the age difference doesn't matter since you were 17 and he was 18.
Good luck to you. ((hug))

Answer 6

the first situation can be considered rape. the second scenario you describe, not so much. you were already carrying his child, and if he had just turned 18 and you were 17 (probably close to 18), there is probably a, allowance or statute that would excuse it. plus, you say he convinced you, not that he forced himself on you. you may not have been in the mood, and it definitely makes him an a*s, but it's not illegal. the first situation, yeah, it definitely could be considered rape since you could not give consent or deny him.

Answer 7

When you were asleep, that was rape. SEX WITHOUT CONSENT IS RAPE! No excuses.
And you say: "At first I didnt want to have sex and then he kinda started" this is rape, too. He knew you didn't want to have sex, then he "kinda started" That's rape!!

You should tell your parents, or go to the police. It doesn't really matter about your age as much as he raped you, but if you don't have any evidence, it will be your word against his. I'm sorry this happened to you.

First thing you should do is tell your mom. I know this sounds weird, but seriously, parents are much wiser than we give them credit. She'll understand. You have to tell someone other than a bunch of strangers on Yahoo!

Good luck

Answer 8

Be mad at him but don't take your hurt feelings out on him completely. You will get your turn to go at him. When he has to pay childsupport. You choose to continue to sleep with. So in the end a jury might find you just as guilty. He didn't force you since you just admited you said yes. For the times you were sleeping... he did tell you. But he did violate you. That part is a tough one. But you did choose to contine to share a bed with him.
Sorry hon. Have your baby and make sure he pays childsupport.
Good luck

Answer 9

Well...Thats rly sick. He had sex with u while u were sleeping. Thats like rape because u didnt want to do it. But it depends on where u live if its legal or not because of the age. Some places 17 and under are minors so since u were 17 and he was 18 that would b illegal because he had sex with a minor. Idk. but some places its 16 and under. it depends. i think its forced cuz u disagreed and he had his way with u while u were sleeping.

Answer 10

If you were 17 and he was 18 it's legal if you consented. All of the times he did it while you were sleeping it's called rape although you would have trouble proving it. I have a friend of the family that just sent her husband to jail for giving her sleeping pills and raping her. Any time someone has sex with you without your consent it is rape!
News story about the city manager, his wife was able to prove the drugging which is why she was able to prosecute.
http://www.wibw.com/home/headlines/8001952.html

Statutory rape laws by state
http://www.cga.ct.gov/2003/olrdata/jud/rpt/2003-R-0376.htm

Answer 11

Im not 100% leagally but I know that if you did not concent to it,boyfriend or not, that would be a form of rape(or some other sexual assault) the other times if you eventually said yes, then it is consiered concent, but if he knew you didnt like it when he did it then that is the same as no, so it is rape(or") I hope that he is not around you anymore(sounds like a dog) To double check ask your local police department or call a helpline of somsort that can point you in the right direction.