At what age should a person stop using their bad childhood as an excuse for bad behavior as an adult?

Answer 1

as soon as they become an adult

Answer 2

This is such a good question, but a very difficult one to answer.

The events that go on during our childhood have a big impact on our adult lives. Even more so if they were traumatic. But there comes a time in which we have to "get over it," and live our lives and take responsibility for our actions. Unfortunately, sometimes it is such a viscious circle that can last through generations, and the bad behavior continues and continues...

I can't really give an age, but I'd hope that once we pass the 30 year mark, that most of these issues will be resolved and handled. At least that is what I am hoping... I am 24.

Answer 3

I don't think there is an excuse for bad behavior as an adult- bad feelings, yes. Problems, yes...but not bad behavior. In fact, I believe when a person becomes old enough to be rational about his or her own behavior and have self imposed limits on it, there is no excuse for bad behavior. SO I would say no older than about 14 or 15. Even younger really, depending on maturity.

Answer 4

It took me quite a while. Basically, I had been using my childhood as an excuse in segments: blame one bad habit on one thing, another on something else. This avoided acknowledging that I was still looking for excuses instead of GROWING UP!!!

I think I was maybe 35 or so when I really got a handle on it. Maybe even older. I joined a 12-step program, which tends to "pull the mask off" with a lot of these things.

Answer 5

I agree with sway_27-as soon as they become an adult. Having a bad childhood is no excuse for giving other people bad adulthoods. Or giving kids the same bad childhood you had. Bad experiences aren't meant for us to use as an excuse to be a bad person; they are meant as experiences to give us Experience, so we can be stronger, more compassionate people.
If you aren't a CHristian, then you can ignore this part, but I believe that God ever wastes a hurt or pain we go through.

Answer 6

If you keep using your bad childhood as an excuse for bad behavior you are in fact admitting you are incapable of really
growing up and have never made the step to adulthood.
A sad situation to be in and remain in.

Answer 7

21

Answer 8

21+

Answer 9

It *should* start when they are a kid. Coming from a bad home doesn't mean you don't understand right from wrong. One of my best friends came from a very rough childhood, but he had (and has) more character, more spine than anyone else I know. He had to lock himself in his bedroom to keep him mother from doing him harm when she got drunk -- it was *that* bad. And yet, when she was so drunk she couldn't get home, he'd get her home, take care of her, etc...only to face verbal and physical abuse.

Fast forward, he became a cop. He also got involved in youth sports and big brother/big sister to be there to help others who are dealing with a rough upbringing.

But any ADULT who uses a bad childhood as an excuse...they just aren't worth much of your time. They need to stand up, own up, and clean up.

Answer 10

How about 18?

Answer 11

my friend and i disagree about this often...

i don't think you should ever use it as an excuse for anything.

i don't know anyone (seriously) that didn't have a bad childhood...some far worse than others. we choose how we're going to handle it. most of the people i know chose to break the cycle. there are a few who did not.

sorry, i don't want to turn this into a rant (probably too late, huh?)

bb