I was searching for a book my fiance had in his storage and I cam across a birthday card, which I thought was given to him long ago. Well it wasn't it was from him to his ex-wife, no biggy. But what was strange was that the same message he had left his ex was about exactly the same things has he had told me.?? Is this weird or should I just let it go? The letter is a few yrs old.
2007-11-07 10:22:04 · 22 answers · asked by Advice25 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Since it's a few years old, i guess you should give him the benefit of the doubt that it didn't mean a thing. He just probably didn't know what to write.
2007-11-07 10:25:56 · answer #1 · answered by 1080 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why make trouble over something so old?
So he said the same things. Probably he doesn't have a good imagination, or he thinks he knows what makes a girl very happy - he repeats it to you; that means he wanted to make you very happy...
The other question is, why did he still have it. I assume it was lost in a big storage pile. This means either (a) it's from when they were together, or (b) he never gave it to her ( or else (c) she sent it back...). Any way you slice it, I think it's good for your relationship.
Really, it seems most girls are a bit jealous or worried about the ex. Maybe it's insecurity, or the fear that she'll call and he'll go running back. Actually, that would be pretty rare, once he's moved on to another serious relationship.
Nothing cures a broken heart like new love. Nothing says "Run! She's a psycho!" like getting in deep doo-doo for something you did before you even got into the relationship, or a girlfriend with an irrational jealousy of previous girlfriends.
2007-11-07 19:14:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let it go. Most guys don't write letters or correspondence of any kind anymore ( unless writing is part of the job: journalist, magazine writer, etc. )
They usually don't know what to say so they have about two or three phrases they put in birthday cards, Christmas cards, etc.etc.
Unless he is acting all weird, buying a red sports car, bungee jumping and secretly stashing pictures of his ex somewhere in the house I suspect you are still number one.
2007-11-07 18:27:52 · answer #3 · answered by Finn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why stir up problems?? Go forward with life and stop looking for negatives. You can accomplish more by finding positives in your relationship than looking for troubles. Many people use the same phrases for different things and their is no big thing with that. Remember it is how the other person responds to You and treats you that is important and also that You extend to them the same trust you expect to get.
2007-11-07 18:27:08 · answer #4 · answered by mr conservative 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just let it go he is using the same worlds becuase he has not game or imagination don't worry about I remember the fist time my husband called me buy his ex nickname and I was pissed but later found out that ll his gf called by that name I told him never to use it on me again and I slaped him. HA that was fun but mean.
2007-11-07 18:38:22 · answer #5 · answered by Lost 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men/women tend to be limited in their romantic prose, so the fact that he has written the same to you as her means nothing. We tell the same thing to whoever we love, there are only so many ways to say it! Let it go but get him to dump the old mementoes, there is no reason to hang on to them. Men can be lazy so offer to help him clear out.
2007-11-07 18:32:19 · answer #6 · answered by Willow 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if he loved her (which I assume he did, at the time), and he loves you - he may express it in the same way. Not a big deal. Can you imagine if you had to find new words to express your love in every relationship? This is why some things are called "timeless".
2007-11-07 18:47:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Too bad you found it... but haven't you ever told you ex the same "I love you" the same "you make me so happy" as you have told your husband??? I think that is something you need to try to get out of your head as soon as you can...
Good Luck!
2007-11-07 18:26:18 · answer #8 · answered by Me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He still has it so it means something. Same language would bother me but men are'nt great communicaters.Its a big can of worms to open .I let mine go till it ate me up.If it really dose'nt bother you I'd just let it go, if it's been a long time and she has stayed out of the picture.
2007-11-07 18:43:31 · answer #9 · answered by oatesmokid 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Please let it go and look and live for the now. It is not weird, but you are human and have feelings. He is your fiance, but take your time to see if he is truly the one. Lots of luck
2007-11-07 18:28:33 · answer #10 · answered by Respuesta 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋