This is my second marriage and his first. He wants to charge me rent. What should I do?

Question

He rented the lower part of his home to a couple for $1,000 a month. My two school age daughters occupy this space now. W e have separate accounts. I make $18,000 a year and receive $1,000 total a month for both daughters in child support. Basically living below poverty level. No assets from the previous marriage. My new husband makes about $70,000 a year and owns the home we live in. His household expenses are $2,000.

I feel funny paying rent. He says I was paying $1,200 before we got married and I moved in. He feels he is missing income from not renting part of his house. I just moved in, we just got married. I pay for all of my daughter's expenses and expected to pay some of the household expenses. I make 1,600 a month. I feel $1,000 a month rent is excessive..

Is this right? Doesn't feel right!

Answer 1

He makes you do what!!!!!!!???????? This is unheard of!! Start charging him for all the housework you do and sex too!!!! LOL

Answer 2

Why, or why, didn't you discuss this sort of thing BEFORE you got married? Of course this isnt' right. If you are PARTNERS in your marriage, you should pay for part of your living expenses, but it should be based on your income. He shouldn't have married you if he didn't want to provide for you and your kids so far as living arrangements go. $1,000 per month is way to much for you to pay for rent, anyway. I'd be ANGRY. Tell him that if he loves you, he has to be generous with you. You will contribute 50% of your child support payment towards living expenses for the kids, and you will use the other 50% for their clothes and supplies (that's what it's for). If he cannot see his way clear to forgo the "Rent" he normally got for that space, you will take your girls and move elsewhere. He's being a total jackass. Why did you marry this man?

Answer 3

I am sorry to say, this should have ALL come out and been discussed way before the "I do" came about. He is in the wrong, but it is obvious he sees a separate family. You and your children, and you and him. Money is the root of all evils and I feel it should be proportionate to each your incomes.
Although you are married, nowadays, it takes two incomes for the average family and I hope you see you still have an obligation too. If he wants you to pay rent, get on the deed. This will back him off. Prayers to you and good luck

Answer 4

What? Are you serious?

You guys need to have a serious talk about the finances. It's ok to have separate accounts (although I personally feel it's weird), but you need to go over the bills and figure out what either of you should be contributing towards the household expenses - proportionately to your respective incomes.

If he's your husband, he should not be "charging you rent", period. If this is the case, then present him a bill at the end of the month for sex, housecleaning and personal chef services; I bet it'll come up to more than $1000.

My husband and I combined all of our accounts as soon as we got married. He makes 4 times as much as I do, but the understanding is that we're working as a team for "our" future. Nothing is "his" or "mine" anymore - it's ours.

Answer 5

Well, most married couples share expenses. But he should take into consderation the fact that you only make $18,000. Paying rent to your husband is really weird. If he really needs the money your daughters will have to move to another part of the house and he can rent to strangers.

Answer 6

Tell him to shove it. If he wants rent the act like a landlord and stay out of the bedroom. If He thinks of money more than your happiness then let him know there are penalties due. Never let a husband make you submissive or think He is giving you something you are not entitled to. If there was a real money issue then things could be different, the two of you need to work together and share. Anything he makes while married to You is partially Yours just as what you earn is partially his but who gets what is not supposed to be an issue.

Answer 7

It isn't right. It really really really isn't right. I am assuming you did not ok this arrangement before you married. If your daughters are not earning, then he is being morally bankrupt. If by school - you mean they are at college/university (UK English - US English) and earning from a part time job, then it is reasonable for them to pay something to cover their bills (like phone, heat etc) - something affordable - towards you BOTH. This man is utterly selfish, and. believe me this pettiness will only get worse. Say nothing yet- take some discreet legal advice as to your position. You would be better off considering cutting your losses now, though, because if you give in on this one - he will continue to act coldly and selfishly because he will think he can get away with it. My blood boils when I read about people like this - you have my sympathy and best wishes.

Alternatively - you could knit yourself a little sweater with the motif "DOORMAT", and lie down on the front step to be walked over..............(not serious)

Answer 8

I believe your husband is a little short in his marriage knowledge. He isn't taken a roomer he taking on a family that he choose to marry. You need to take him to Neurologist and have is brain examined and you need to tell him just how it is going to be and if he don't like it move out. He seems to me a little dorky and may be a little gay. This is your life but if it was me by the time I got through cussing him out and packing my bag and hitting that first Divorce Attorney I wouldn't live with someone that makes me pay rent. You must not have known him very long when you married him. He seems to me to be cheapskate and he will never, never change, when you went out on dates did he make you go dutch. I get rid of that goofball tomorrow and chalk it up as a good loss.

Answer 9

You know, he should have discussed this with you before you got married, and not now... if he wants to make $1000 a month rent for the place downstairs, then tell him to re-rent it to someone else. Or if your daughters are of age, have them pay rent themselves.

It's a pity you and your husband didn't discuss finances before you got married.... that is one of the most important things to discuss pre-marriage.

I hope you two work this out.. it's rediculous, if you ask me.

Answer 10

Sounds like you are with a cheap azz. Sorry about that. My husband used to be cheap also, he's lightened up a lot. You could move in and "try" to pay what he asks for and then deem it unreasonable. I don't know, we still split the bills down the middle but right now I make more so I don't mind. hehe, but if I didn't I darn sure would!

Answer 11

This gets down to one of those "Yours, mine & ours," type of questions. Obviously you are correct. 1000 a month is excessive.

After you got married, are you on the mortgage together or is it still in his name?

Everything needs to be in proportion to your relative earnings. Ignore child support. That goes to the children for clothing, medical, education, etc., etc.

His income is 70,000. Yours 18000. Combined, your household makes 88,000. Your percentage of contribution to total household income is 20.45 percent. Actually, you should use figures after Federal Tax, State Tax, Social Security and Medicare, but these are the figures I have to work with here in this space.

Therefore, slice up the total household budget for you and your husband: car insurance, gasoline, food budget, mortgage, phone, electric, gas, etc.

You take approximately 20 percent of your income and put it into the joint checking account. He takes 80 percent and puts it into the joint checking. Pay bills from joint checking. You keep your personal bank account. He keeps his personal bank account.

If you CHOOSE to contribute more than 20 percent, then that is one thing. Anything left goes into savings, investments, or special funds like vacation savings, etc.

This is basically allocating costs according to relative earning capacity. He earns more. He pays more. You earn less, you pay less. Besides, the idea of living under one roof is that expenses are supposed to be less overall.

Incidentally, this isn't my idea. I got it from Suze Ormon, the financial planner on television.

Cheers......Finn.