Did I do something wrong?

Question

My husband met an unmarried couple in a business trip, and lived with them for a few months. One day, the girl emailed him asking him for money, and told him at the end "by the way T and I are not together". He helped her out. She thanked him by email. Then five days later, she emailed again saying thank you, asking my husband to keep in contact with her, asking about his schedule, and also she sent her picture. Mr husband is still friend with her ex. I told my husband that I did not understand why she is trying to stick to him. She said thank you, she needs to move on. He said that he did not see anything wrong abut the mail. But I did. So I took matters into my hands and emailed her myself. I told her that I do not understand what she is looking for ,and that my husband does not need a picture as a thank-you note, nor he needs to contact her. He did a favor; end of the story, there is no need for follow-up. She called my husband to complain. I did what I have to do. Is that wrong?

Answer 1

I think you did right. And I agree that there was no need to send a picture. I also think there is more to it that your not aware of. Hasn't it crossed you mind. That perhaps there has been more than friendship between them?

Answer 2

You were absolutely right in asking her to leave your husband alone. She took her appreciation a little too far. She should have never asked him for money in the 1st place, she sent him 1 thank you email & that should have been enough, but to send him another one w/a picture attached to it was WRONG and over the line. Your husband should not be angry w/you for you protecting what is yours....HIM & your marriage. Ask him how he would feel if he was in your situation and tell him that it is not HIM that you do not trust. It is the woman that you distrust because her behavior is inappropriate and she is single now so you feel threatened. Turn it around and make him understand where you insecurity comes from. IT does not come from within you or because of your husband....it comes from the situation w/this chic.
You were not wrong in calling her. IN FACT, I would be very suspicious at why this person feels comfortable enough with YOUR husband to call him and be a tattle tale on you, HIS WIFE!!!!!!!!!!! GOOD LUCK AND STAND YOUR GROUND!

Answer 3

No I would have done the samething but I would not have been so polite.that hoe is trying to keep you man as a friend because he sent her money so she is trying to use her (butt) as a meal ticket.(if ya know what I mean) Write her again and tell her(not so politely) Not to call your husband if she has a problem with any of this she needs to be a women and call you.and then tell her if she needs anymore help to contact someone else.because she already got all the help form you and your husband shes gona get.then send a picture of you and your husband (if you have kids send a family pic) and put P.S. If I have to contact you again it will be inperson not by Email.I hope I have made my self clear! and if she contacts your husband again then find out were she lives or works and pay her a visit.

Answer 4

You have done absolutely nothing wrong.

Your husband has done something VERY wrong.

Whether he could see the problem with giving this girl money before he did it or not - it was a bad decision.

Did he discuss it with you first ?

I would sit your husband down and have a veru serious talk - he may be naieve but he is stepping into a big hole getting caught up in this situation.

Lay down the law - your not happy about the contact adn it is to stop. If he values you and your marriage he will stop - if he refuses to then I think you have some personal decisions you to make.....

Best of luck

Answer 5

The whole story is bizarre...Your husband lived with a unmarried couple that he had only met...while on a business trip? When I hear business trip...I think maybe a week at most....anyways....he made the first mistake by moving in with them....second mistake by giving her his email address and phone number....third mistake by giving her money....I would kick my hubby's butt if he did any of these things.....but to answer your question....You did exactly what your husband should had done in the first place....

Answer 6

No, I would have done the same thing. Men are useless when their egos are at stake, and eventually it could have led to an affair....it still could...so nip it in the bud now and keep your eyes open. She is after your man!
My husband received a sexy gift from the ex-friend with whom he had a 5 year affair until I caught them. I found the gift and sent it back...to her HUSBAND....along with a note to tell his wife she is wasting her time! We had to move interstate to start a new life...I still regret that. But had great satisfaction in upsetting her life. My husband has no idea that I found the gift! Which proves to me he has no more contact with her.

Answer 7

I don't understand why your husband has to listen to her complain about you after he did something really nice for her. Her complaint might cause a stress on you and your husband.

She has not shown any respect to your husband by causing a potential issue between you and your husband over her. Arguing over her is not worth a fight between you two. I think he should just drop her as a friend.

I don't understand why she is sending her picture to him. Normal people don't do that. What would your opposite sex coworker think, if you send him a picture as a thank-you note.

She might have misunderstood the gesture as something sexual. I'm not sure if your husband is attracted to her, but she might be attracted to him. I'm really not sure of her intent, but I don't think it includes you.

I don't think you are overreacting. She needs to go.

Answer 8

No I don't think that was wrong. My husband received a love letter from this pretty secretary he used to work with several months ago and we have moved out of state and she still looked him up and wrote him a letter! And she knew he was already taken! I swear, I don't understand some women. But yeah, had I had her email I probably would have done the same thing. Husbands are so naive sometimes.

Answer 9

Sorry, in my opinion YOU did not do anything wrong. If your tone and language were polite and civilized you have a right to voice your opinion. On the contrary your husband AND the woman appear to be "crossing the lines". You must feel quite uncomfortable with what has happened. Perhaps your husband was only trying to mitigate the situation; notwithstanding, kindness and good taste have their boundaries, do they not?

Answer 10

well, I have to say in a way yes. You see you are your husbands wife, not his mommy that needs to handle things for him. He is a grown adult and can handle himself. I am sure that what you did made him feel like a fool with a wife that is acting a bit domineering. You made yourself look like a very insecure jealous women by doing that. If you believe in what you have with him, than you will trust that he will make the right decision and if he did decide to keep in touch with this lady, its up to you to ask "him" of his needs and intentions with this relationship. If someone is going to cheat, they are going to do it weather or not you don't want them to or not.You can watch,intervene with the person you think is the other person and waste alot of time worrying it right into happening.You see, sometimes people make their own trouble by giving someone the reason to draw closer to someone outside of things by not trusting and believing in them. You showed your lack of security and showed to your man that you are afraid he will move on. If I was you I would apologize to him and let him know you love and trust him. If he does cheat, not much you can do about it but handle it if in fact it does. Otherwise, live your life and think of whats really important. being a loving spouse and showing him why he should never desire anyone other than you.
Good Luck!

Answer 11

It seems rather innocuous, but there are little things I don't like about it...
1) she sent a picture of herself
2) she called and complained that you, as a wife, were concerned about your husband.

Part of me thinks it is completely innocent... But then, this is also how things started when my parents separated and divorced, so... I would definitely be careful... Good luck.