Girls I need your help...?

Question

My wife and I have been married for a year and our sex life has gone downhill. Before we were married we made love once or twice a day. Now its like 3 or 4 times per month. I don't have to have it once a day, but a couple times a week would be great. I love my wife and I think she is very sexy. I tell her she is beautiful & sexy all the time & that I love her. I always have initiate sex... she never does anymore even though I tell her how much it turns me on when she does. She is either tired, not in the mood or doesn't feel good most of the time. I try to turn her on by kissing her neck and rubbing her back but sometimes she just lays there. I don't know whats going on with her. I know she is stressed with College and her job. Also she has changed her birth control. She tells me she loves me & cuddles up next to me all the time. Girls can you please help. Do you think she is stressed out, depressed, bad birth control, etc. What would cause her sex drive to slow down that much? Thanks!

I have talked to her about it... she says she doesn't know why she feels the way she does. She says its not me and that she still thinks I'm very sexy. She used to be on the patch, which had a lot of hormones. I don't know if her pill has very low hormones or not. I've tried doing different things... candle light dinners, hot bubble bath, flowers, etc. But she has been like this now for awhile.

Answer 1

she is under a lot of stress with collage and work,but now changed birth control which messes around with the hormones...
I would
continue to be supportive
have her make a doctors appointment to talk to them abou the birth control
have her go see a councelor - sometimes having that outside person to talk to can be a big help,and she may have some depression going on as well,and they can help her with this
She may need to lighten her load and cut back on some things so that she isnt so stressed.
too much stress is not good and it does take its toll on the body

Answer 2

Men and women alike go through stages where other things are more on their mind than intimacy. Try to be patient. Some women also just have a very low sexdrive and as a result, don't want it and don't initiate it often. If you are happy with once or twice a week, ask her what you need to do to have it that often. Don't tolerate her using it as a "prize" for doing something for her though. Lots of men get into the habit of doing something "special" hoping for some action and the woman is still nonresponsive to that. After only being married for a year, this has to be a bummer for you. Actually sounds a lot like my husband's ex wife. Keep doing what you are doing and cross your fingers that she comes around to see what a good guy she has. You may have to "go solo" for a bit until she gets out of this slump.

Answer 3

So it sounds like you guys have the romance...just not the sex. It sounds like it could be something to do with her hormone levels if she tells you she still thinks you're sexy. Plus you've been very attentive and caring with her. I say keep on cuddling with her, whether that means you have sex or not. Keep that intimacy level high. Don't expect sex to come out of your kind gestures. When her hormones even out, she might show you just how much she appreciates all the patience you exhibited, right?

It's hard to be understanding, I know. But the sex drives of men and women are just oftentimes very different. There's not much you can do about it.

Have you ever considered masterbating in front of her so that you get your release and she's still in the room to turn you on? I would think she'd prefer that to you whacking off to porn. That way you get your release, she's still inovlved in your sex life, but you're not making her do anything she doesn't want to do.

Answer 4

There is nothing wrong with her. Most of all women go through these stages. It's a part of life. However, she shouldn't stop completely.
Maybe you can help around the house with chores. I can understand why she would feel the way she does when she has to go to work, go to school and then study while trying to keep up with the house chores and having dinner ready.
By the time she is finished with everything, she is tired. I wouldn't want to be messed with either. If you lighten her load, you might just get lucky.
Maybe talk to her and set up two special nights a week that you both can enjoy each other. Try a game of four play to get her in the mood. -Good luck.

Answer 5

Changing birth control can be stressful on her body. If it doesn't change in the next month, I would suggest she go back to the doctor and change her pill again. Sometimes between the stress of college and work and just being married is enough but then adding in changing birth control. Just be supportive, she will come around. Best of luck!!

Answer 6

Ok as to the rubbing her back and kissing her neck and her just layen there she's probably like me and enjoying the feeling of it , do you follow through after the rubbing n kissing? or does she say no she isnt in the mood? If she doesnt say no then just follow through if she does say no then I really dont know what's going on with her apart from as you say stress.

I know not much help but some time's sex drive's go on hiatus with birth control.

Answer 7

If you act like it doesn't bother you then she will start wondering why. I wouldn't tell her shes pretty or sexy she is. I would keep it as non- sexual as possible.
And you will see how fast she takes off her clothes. We don't really like it when we feel pressured to do it. And telling us we are sexy all the time gets old.
Play hard to get. You always want what you think you can't have. Trust me. Back off. And she'll come around

Answer 8

Sex drive goes down in some people. It may have something to do with hormones, pills and college - or maybe not. I don't think modern medicine has cracked this nut yet.

I'm still trying to figure out why folks think that bubble baths and flowers promote sexual desire. Sorry couldn't be of more help.

Answer 9

Need to talk to her. The pill sorely affected my libido simply because it made me feel like crap. Maybe your performance is lacking and she doesn't want to hurt your feelings. Does she enjoy it? Not to hurt your feelings, it just that many guys aren't as good as they think and us girls won't say anything because many of you tend to get defensive. So we'd rather just accept than hurt your feelings or risk you being hateful to us for being honest.

Answer 10

well I am not a girl but here is the correct answer to your question.... .Welcome to married life. Wedding cake is well known to kill a woman's sex drive........lol And if you want to know I can tell you the real reason why women are always smiling when the walk down the isle at their wedding .......