How to handle an ex wife who is trying to poison the children agains me.?

Question

My husband and I got married this last year. My son is grown and two of his are in college and then there are two still at home. We have them 50/50 and his ex, is becoming nastier as time goes on. The kids are good kids but there have been some ongoing issues, where my husband has become very active in addressing and taking care of them. As he has done this the ex has gotten very nasty and trying to poison them against me. I have been involved in getting the kids to doctors etc. I am having a hard time understanding why she is behaving this way. I had nothing to do with their divorce. She is living with the guy she cheated with when they were married. The children are not allowed to speak with me when she is present, ie during an exchange. She is saying if he is at work and I am here when they get out school they should go to her house. We just found out she is leaving the kids alone after school for about 2 hrs. (kids 8 & 12). We do not agree on this.

Answer 1

in some countries that is illegal to leave them alone, if full custody was sort, you could use that against her, and if you have proff she would not be allowed to have them, if she does that, when the children are exchanged speak to them and make them answer you, so they have not got the mother dominating her, I will bet the new bf has a lot to do with this, first thing you must do is sort out this time these kids are left alone, then sort out any other problem

Answer 2

Listen Billy, it sounds like your 24 year old wife needs a little growing up to do. She’s not realizing that you have a child that you need to be a part of her life. Your wife is not your child and she needs to stop acting like a child. You need to talk to her, she needs to understand that she married you and you had this responsibility to your child before she came along and if she stays or goes your child will still remain just that your child. She needs to get her *** of the pedestal that she seems to think she’s on and get a grip. Her acting the way that she does is also reflecting on your child. Your excuse of you dealt with your ex because your wife was there is just that an excuse. You don’t need to take your wife to deal with you ex and her husband. Honestly Billy, you’ve let this get out of hand and now you can’t control it unless you demand that everyone in that circle get along for the sake of your daughter which is not being done. I think the problem you’re having is that you and your ex and more than likely your ex’s husband are around the same age where as your wife still thinks she’s a teenager who’s stuck in being a teenie bopper. Sounds as though you’re wife still has some growing up to do and being a mother is not included in those plans. You need to ask her what her plans are as far as being a part of your daughters life…her attitude of going clubbing and not joining the family dinner says a lot about her. The comment you allowed her to make about luxuries of a step parents, wasn’t necessary and she should be reminded that being a step parent means or being a parent period means you may have to do things you may not like but you suck it up and do it anyway.

Answer 3

You're not going to understand her because she's one of those selfish, irrational women who obviously hates it that her husband found a real woman to be with. He clearly needs to talk to a lawyer about the leaving the kids alone thing and about her insistance that the children not be alone with you. But he has to do it, you can't really. Finally, when it comes to the children, simply be fair and honest with them, and DON'T make comments about their mother when they are anywhere around, and they will soon realize who the trust the most. Kids are hard to fool, so be yourself and let them come to the realization that Mom doesn't always know best. Good luck, and my sympathies for the crazy ex troubles.

Answer 4

Just talk with the kids and come to an understanding with them. They will know if you are a good person and how you treat them. Just explain she is mad because she believes you are taking her spot and that you are not trying to do that just to be a wife to thier father and that you love them as your own. They know how you are.

Answer 5

This woman probably is a mixed up individual. I think she is jealous about you having her ex even though as strange as it may sound. I think that she considers you a better looking woman then her and she probably resents it that her ex hit the jackpot with you.