My b/f of 4 yrs who lives with me tells me that we will "get married someday" when I ask him about our future. I would like a more specific answer then that- when I press for more info-he shuts down and does not want to talk about it.He says he wants to get married to me, yet I have no idea what he is waiting for.Any ideas???
2007-11-07 08:37:01 · 15 answers · asked by k 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I also forgot to mention that he is living with me and my 3 kids.He has not been married before and does not have kids of his own.He moved in with us about 2 years ago.He has said we will get married "someday" but I just would like to know what his idea of someday is.
2007-11-07 08:56:56 · update #1
Maybe he's waiting for a different Ms. Right than you and just hanging with you until his version of "THE ONE" appears.
2007-11-07 08:40:07 · answer #1 · answered by Tiger by the Tail 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I was living with my 1st husband for 7 years and we had 3 kid's before I asked him to marry me on christmas day in front of my family of all places , I simply told him marry me or leave and give me my freedom , we married in May the next year.
My 2nd husband and I had been together 2 years and had my 4 kids , his 2 kids and our son when I proposed to him we married almost a year later.
Your man has the easy life , he has the cow and get's the milk for free , ie: he has a woman to cook , clean , sex him up why does he need the ring and the ceremony. A lot of good answer's above but the simple truth is if you say to him right this is the date we're marrying and this is how we're paying for it , chances are he's going to stick round and go through the process but after the ceremony he's either going to start cheating on you or he's just going to walk.
And that's only if he stay's for the ceremony. You need to start adjusting your life , dont make him centre of it , take your kid's out more and get a hobby , how is he with your kid's ? does he show them love and respect ? does he help them when they need it ? or does he just yell and reprimand them?
If he isnt a good influence round them then pack his bags and show him the door , cuz yer kid's come 1st. Good luck.
2007-11-07 17:10:56 · answer #2 · answered by JadeyOz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your biggest mistake was moving in with him. Why would he marry you if he's getting all the benefits of marriage without the long term committment?
Get this book and read it.
"10 stupid things women do to mess up their lives" by Dr. Laura.
4 years is a waste of your time. You should have been engaged by now and married. It doesn't take someone 4 years to decide what they want to do with their future.
He's wasting the best years of your life. Move out and make him commit to you. If he doesn't, then move on! Life is too short to waste with someone who doesn't have the same interest as you have.
2007-11-07 16:42:55 · answer #3 · answered by alwaysbombed 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
i dont know how old you are but my sister is going through the same things she is 21 and her and her boyfriend have been together for 4 years and now live together...she doesnt know but he already found a ring and is planning on doing it next year when they graduate from their university maybe he doesnt want you to have a clue that it may be comming up soon just be patient you never know what could happen! if you keep pushing it on him he may get the feeling that you are pressuring him to much and that you are rushing it and might postpone it even more...give the guy a break he is probly nervous! Good Luck and i hope everything works out for you!
2007-11-07 16:46:02 · answer #4 · answered by italia1689 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell him you are not going to wait forever. Chances are, he may indeed not be planning on marrying you. In my marriage and family class I took in college, it said that most men marry or at least make marriage PLANS after six months to one year of dating. Don't count on it if it hasn't happened in 4 years...thats a very long time to be dating and still not totally committed.
2007-11-07 16:44:10 · answer #5 · answered by Brittney 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why buy the cow when you're getting the milk for free? You are currently providing him with all the benefits of marriage without any of the commitment. If you want him to marry you, you'll need to provide him with an incentive for committing to you: move out and stop having sex with him.
2007-11-07 16:40:29 · answer #6 · answered by Happy-2 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
because your letting him go on in this. You need to start drifting from him. Go out more with friends, take up some new hobbies, go take some classes. Just get more. He will see that he is losing you and do what he needs to do. The longer you do nothing then he will do nothing.
2007-11-07 16:44:56 · answer #7 · answered by youcandoit 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dont rush into things maybe he isnt ready to be locked down for the rest of his life with you right now and he just wanna live life.....he will maybe eventually talk to you about it but dont push him too hard. Aggreisve is good but vicous is disastrous
2007-11-07 16:40:40 · answer #8 · answered by A Girl With a Dream 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sweetheart I had to stoop to drastic measures and my current husband and I had been together for six years.... I started making plans for my life without him because I told him I wanted more and he didn't so I need to do what I need to do for me so I won't waste another 6 years plus waiting!!!!!! So I asked to marry him and he said yes and here we are three months into marriage because had he not been ready, i'd left and did what I had to do for me and our son!!!!!!!!!!! He was shocked that I started making plans for my life without him!!!!! Just in case!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-11-07 16:43:17 · answer #9 · answered by rita_hiemy 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
A little time apart might bring him around. He is living with you now. A little time apart might make him want to go your step further.
2007-11-07 16:50:26 · answer #10 · answered by ronnny 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋