16, Pregnant, & I Want To Be Single?

Question

so how exactly do i make it clear to the father of my child that its over? How can i stop myself from falling back into his traps?

& yes its best that i be single because its good for me as well as our child. All he does is bring me stress and pain. & im always looking stupid at the end

no..its not that easy. he just "knows im gonna come back" when hes ready for me 2 and blah blah blah and im trying to break the habit

i didnt say i wasnt going to let him be in my childs life... quite frankly hes threaten me that i would lose my child when we got in an argument basically sayen he was going to do something to make me lose it. i mean seriously. sometimes he doubts its even his and i wasnt even cheating on him. which is sad.. but okay. i was going to leave him befroe i found out i was pregnant but when i did...i tryed to make it work....but its never going to work because hes never going to change and i deserve so much more. so he can be a father if he wishes 2...but i mean ...he might not had been around anyways..hes going to court for some felony charges.

and besides...i don't think i can even put him on child support..hes on ssi.

first of all dont worry about where my parents are... because how could they have stopped me.. i was going to have sex any ways..so what could they have done...but me on house arrest and hold me from the world? dont think so.... i mean it can happen to any1 who has sex no matter what age you are. also i didnt come on here for negative comments i came on here for help with a situation that needs to be tooken care of.

Answer 1

16, pregnant and you think you can be a single mother?
I don't think you've thought this through.

You can be single but the father is going to be a part of that child's life and yours for the next 18 years so you better grow up and get use to him being around.
He doesn't need to be your boyfriend, but he needs to be a father and if you don't let him than that makes you a horrible mother.

How is a child never seeing their father beneficial? It's not!

Look, my brother hardly saw his son for the first year because the mother always had the child and wouldn't let him take the boy. that's NOT fair, but guess what- KARMA. that little boy will look you straight in the eye and say "I love my daddy, but my mommy is a bad mommy and I don't like her'' Do you want the mother the child hates? I don't think so.

It takes 2 to make a child and it takes 2 to raise the child.

Write the guy a letter or invite him and his parents over to eat with you and your parents. Have an understanding of what is going on and an agreement of what is going to happen. for example who is going to be in the delivery room, the child's last name, child support payments, where you and child should live, etc.

Like it or not, you had sex, got pregnant and now need to deal with it including the father!

16 and pregnant. I feel sorry for you to be honest but than again I didn't have sex until I was an adult so maybe others should have went that route as well.

best of luck!

*added*
People are always going to say "where the hell were your parents?" because 16 is young and people take you being pregnant as your parents not raising you properly.
I'm not here to judge, but I can say 16 and pregnant didn't happen to me since I'm 20 and child free. but who knows, I could have a child before 22. (I'm almost 21) so I can't talk!
Being so young, it's going to be tough and you are going to be judged! I was 17 when my nephew was born and I would take him shopping. I had 2 old ladies look straight at me and say "What a shame! So young and mother, girls are sluts now days"
I almost crapped my pants, I couldn't believe it so I said "I'm sorry, but he's my NEPHEW" and they said "Did your mother tell you say that?" I just rolled my eyes and walked away. so expect to be judged! It's not fair but you're young so it happens.

Also are you working? Kinda hard to get a job when pregnant but it takes on average $56,000 to raise a child. That's not including private schooling, college/university, sports, music, ballet, etc. So it's NOT cheap and the government shouldn't have to support you. So you need to get a job.

As for SSI from the boyfriend, the government will take from his cheque and give to you or at least they should. The laws are different in the states.
Look into that.
Also join some young mother groups, that'll really help you especially since it won't be older women busting your butt for getting pregnant young.

Answer 2

It is most likely habit for the remarks he makes to you. How many times have you taken him back? Let a lie slip by? When a relationship hits that sort of pattern it becomes difficult for the other person to let go so what you have to do is keep being "aggressive" in getting your point across. No matter what, he will always be the father of your baby so you will always have that connection. Whether or not that is healthy for your son/daughter is up to you but if he is a good person but not for you then just explain to him you want him to be a dad not a boyfriend. Just be persistent and try to stay calm because adding stress doesn't help mom or baby. Congrats on the baby...it will be a struggle but just stay focused and keep the positive around you and things should get better as time goes. Hope it works out with the father!!!

Answer 3

I think you should just tell him straight up that you don't want to be with him anymore (but in a nice way, if you want.) If he still thinks you'll come running back to him, don't listen to what he says. Just let is brush off your shoulder. Know that you can resist and you won't fall back into his traps. If you know that then you won't go back to him. Just be strong and independent. But also think about your child. Doesn't your child need a father in his life? If you and your boyfriend split up, atleast make sure he will still be in your child's life as a supporting father because your baby will be wondering who his/her REAL father is. So just make sure that your boyfriend or shall I say ex-boyfriend will always be there for the baby. Best of luck in whatever you chose to do :)

Answer 4

The father has a right to be in his child's life if he didn't run out on you that is. I got pregnant at 15 and am raising my son by myself because his father left when I was 2 months pregnant and my parents threw me out of the house when I told them I was pregnant. It's very hard raising a kid on your own so I'd advise you to marry your boyfriend or have him in your child's life so you have help.

Answer 5

okay.. i don't know what's the problem with you and him.. but it seems like he's not a good person.. so what i suggest you to do is arrange him up and talk to him about his problems and why you want to be single.. say the things passionately.. if he's a rubbish listener just kick him up the butt. If he really wants contact with your child then just let him in the future.. or how about if you two just be friends.. good luckkk

Answer 6

This isnt negative, just use protection if you are going to have sex. If I were you I would get a job and work all the time and save up. Then you wont have time for the loser bf and he will get the idea and you will save money for the baby and you!

Answer 7

Don't make YOUR issues your child's issues.... Your child should have access to its father regardless of your inability to make good decisions for yourself...

Perhaps when you are a little older and more mature you will be able to understand this and hopefully for your child's sake it will not be too late for them to create a lasting relationship..

Answer 8

Its YOUR baby not his. Your goin to carry him/her to term, goin to give birth and raise it whether he is there or not. You feel it is in your best interest not to have him in your life thats your choice. Now you just dont have you to worry about but an unborn child. You should do it now more than ever. If you want him to be there explain to him that you dont want to be with him you just want your child to have a father.

Answer 9

tel him you dont think its best for you and the baby for you and him to be together at the time you need time apart and to figure things out. you might want your baby to kno its father and have a good realtionship with him later on your feelings might change

Answer 10

tel his ***you don't want to do this any more.and I will help you with the baby real talk just write me at yahoo.com my email address is [e-mail] and tell me what you need