What do you do when your best friend doesn't like your boyfriend?

Question

Well, my best friend of over 12 years doesn't like my boyfriend at all. He and I have been together about 3 and a half years and have just started having a long distance relationship so that I can go to school in a different state (my home state). We have financial problems and he has a lot of health issues. I love him so much but my best friend thinks he is not good enough for me and it has caused a riff between us because I want to stay with him. She feels he is controlling and doesn't love me in the "right" way. I don't see that at all. HELP!

Answer 1

Tell her you apprecaite her concern, but you are happy and love him and you need her to respect this and the fact that you want to be her friend. There is no reason you cannot have a relationship with both unless she just will not have it that way.

If my wife had waited for her parents approval of me, we would never have married 26 years ago.

She doesn't have to like him because she is not dating him and while you are best friends, it ultimately is not her business.

Answer 2

Looks like I'll be going against the majority of the answers here but first I'm assuming that you are happy with this guy (if not step back now and give your relationship a good hard look) but like I say if you're happy then I feel that your best friend has every right to express her concerns but should then leave it at that and just be there for you no matter what you should choose to do if she's letting her opinion cause a riff between the two of you then in my opinion, she's not acting the way a true best friend should act. Let her know you hear her and then ask her to just be there for you no matter what you decide. Good luck ;)

Answer 3

I don't have time for the long answer this deserves, so some points to ponder:

1) she's not with you and him when you are alone, so she doesn't have a full picture of how he cares for you

2) what does she consider the "right" way, and do those ideas mesh with yours? If not, the "right way" is just her opinion (as it is for anyone's) and if you don't agree with her idea of "right" then you don't need to concern yourself with that comment. If your ideas ARE the same, and you DO feel you are loved in this "Right" way, then she needs to settle.

3) She might be still jealous of this relationship... after all, she's been your friend a long time, and silly as it sounds, this happens (no, not in a homosexual way, in a friendship way)

4) You don't need to share all your secrets with her, but depending on what you come up with when you think about point #2, talk with her seriously about this issue-- he loves you the way YOU wish to be loved, you feel perfectly cared for, and that's your choice as a young woman. Explain to her (gently) that while you appreciate her protection, that you have made your choice and you would like to have her friendship.

5) If your friend is seeing any kind of abuse (physical, mental, emotional, financial), then ignore 1 - 4 and listen to her. She'd be right. Don't take it; it's a long, hard road and not worth the pain and tears.

Good luck.

Answer 4

I agree with your best friend. She has known you a lot longer than your so called boyfriend. If you have money problems now, his health issues are just going to drain your finances even more. He is playing off your sympathy. Dump him and let him find his own help. He just wants someone to take care of him and loves the idea of having a live in nurse. He doesn't love you.

Answer 5

She's been your best friend for over 12 years? Sounds like my best friend and me. Your best friend loves you and cares about you. She is concerned about your well being and only wants what is best for you! Usually a friend's intuition is correct, even when it's hard to come to terms with. What has made her think he is controlling?! Take a step back and put your friend in a relationship with a guy like yours, would you see anything wrong with it? Sometimes it's difficult to see a mistake when you are living it, and trust me I know from first hand experience.

Answer 6

You might want to tell you friend that your relationship with your boyfriend is private and if she truly is a good friend then she'll respect that. The last thing you want to do is throw away 3 1/2 years with someone who could possibly be "the one" just because your friend is throwing a tissy fit.

Answer 7

Your a big girl now.
Just because she does not like your boyfriend doesn't mean anything. Perhaps it's jealousy? When you talk with your friend try to talk about things other than you r boyfriend. She is probably tired of hearing about all of the ups and downs of your relationship.

Answer 8

where do i start? well if i were in your shoes i would take into consideration your friends concerns and try as much as possible to step back and look at things from another perspective. if you still don't see it then maybe ask her for examples. you're in love and love makes us blind. its happened to me many times already, i didn't see how dumb my ex was until after he broke up with me. i then realized that i wasted two years of my life with this person who said he loved me but instead just used me. Be smart about it pay attention to little things if hes not appreciating you.. he is not worth it!

good luck!

Answer 9

After 12 years I'm sure you can trust her that she only wants the best for you. You're blinded by your love right now so you can't see it.

Answer 10

DON'T BREAK UP WITH HIM.

If you love him and you think he loves you in the "Right" way then definally stay together.

My friend just broke up with her bf because she thought me and my other friends dont like him and the way he dresses.

I didnt feel that I thought he was sweet to her and it didnt matter the way he dressed and i knew that she really liked him.

dont do something you will regret. I know your friend has been around with your longer, but you dont want to give up somebody you love.

I also know you love them both. Sit down with your friend and discuss why she doesnt like him. Talk to her, let her in, mb she thinks that he doesnt treat you like or youve changed... or maybe shes jealous. However, if she does have a good reason, think about it, talk to him about it.


GOOD LUCK. be yourself (4evr)... my bff told me that another one of our friends ( i just had started hanging out with) was changing me. and i realized after that point, i wasnt the same, and i didnt like that. im still friends with her, but we're changing things so she doesnt change me.