Well Just trying to figure out my situation because I don;t want it to have an impact on my marriage because of my stupid In-Laws, The trouble started last Year because my Father-in-law is very selfish and a big baby. They owe my wife and I about $4000.00 dollars in different items. But thats besides the point, I night of my wedding earlier this year he started trouble and I tried walking away from the situation and he hit me, what am i supposed to do I haven;t spoke to them for months and no the hoildays are coming around we have a new born, and my wifes mother is starting trouble because we are not going over there house for thanksgiving or christmas, what should i do if i wasn;t in the wrong.....
2007-11-07 07:16:41 · 11 answers · asked by jonas2000 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
They also made me pay for our wedding well her father went out and hunted the week before and made out they had no money, Her parents have also turned me against her brothers and her grandparents, they all feel that we are to blame, When my wife took our new born over there for the first time he told her "there was nothing for him to see" when she tried to show him our son. All of this really hurts and I don't know what to do about the situation as it really stresses me out.
2007-11-07 08:12:15 · update #1
Man your in a pickle. I would understand. They're not in a trailer out your back window are they? jk
Grandmother is probably speaking for that assh0le grandmfdad.
2007-11-07 07:21:36 · answer #1 · answered by Brightside 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a good man in a bad situation. As far as your in laws go what kind of wackos would think after your fil punched you, that you would be going over for the holidays? Also your wife goes over with the baby and they have no interest? These people are crazy and you can not reason or make sense out of crazy.
Your wife needs to wake up. You're her family, even if you, her and baby need to celebrate the holidays with out either side of the family that would be best rather then spend holidays with crazy people who look for drama and confrontation.
I have to say I am surprised that your wife is OK with the way they treated you. My uncle had an issue with my husband when we were first married. They were upset that he feel asleep Thanksgiving on the couch after they knew he needed to go to work at 11:30 p.m. that night. The following year they did not want him in there house. I never stepped foot into there home again and I was done after I gave them all a good peace of my mind.
Marriage = team. My husband is my partner and I will not allow my family to be disrespect full to him.The same way I expect his family not to be disrespect full to me.
2007-11-07 09:02:41 · answer #2 · answered by Kat G 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So sorry, to hear about your situation, it really sucks!!! , I don't know how your wife feels, but I could advise you to forget and keep going, but I am not going to do that, simply because they won't change ever, if they are ugly people, they will die being ugly people. So it's not your call to make things better.
If your wife wants to go and visit, that is fine, but you can go and visit your family or do something different or JUST TAKE A BREAK from everybody. About the money, hey! you guys worked and saved that money for other people to keep???????????, that's not correct, you guys need to collect that money, and the pressure will be on your wife, obviously she's a weak person, because I don't think she has moved a finger about this situation getting out of control. Ask her that now she needs to talk to her "lovely" parents and fix the situation, her marriage should be more important that those losers (I wish they would be my in-laws........they would have never f**** with me!!!)
Let your family visit them and/or whatever...you honestly don't need that aggravation, if your wife goes, let her, you have your own fun OR she needs to make a choice, like it or not. These are her parent's consequences, not yours!.
2007-11-07 07:35:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you and your wife need a bit of distance from the inlaws. Until they can treat you, your wife, and your child with the love and respect that you all deserve from them, why go. Spend a nice holiday season with your wife and you child. Your wife needs to be drawing some boundries with her family. My family treated my fiance terribly, more than that they were abusive to me. I moved out, and made as little contact as possible. I didn't call them, I didn't visit them. When my mom realized that she wouldn't see me if she didn't change her behavior, she started treating me and my fiance with a great amount of respect. My inlaws treat me very badly as well. Things will never reconcile between us.
Look, the reason behind the in-law's behavior is self love and pride. They feel like you owe them something, and they will use the carrot, and then the stick to get you to do it. Both you and your wife should make it clear that guilt, shame, and blame don't work anymore, find a new game.
Best of luck.
2007-11-07 09:34:10 · answer #4 · answered by seaelven 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Save face and compromise to see them for a short amount of time. If he starts anything then leave. You have the choice to be civil to one another and if he can't live up to that then you have the choice to walk away. For the daughter/wife and the grandchild, you and the parents should at least try to let bygones be bygones and get along just for the sake of the holidays and family. You don't have to like each other, but you should try to be civil.
2007-11-07 07:23:24 · answer #5 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what dose your wife have to say about all of this. and if you really dont want to go over. then mabey her mother could come over to your house for an hour if you could stand having her there? so she could see your wife and baby.
2007-11-07 11:17:46 · answer #6 · answered by jesse 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your wife doesn't have a legitimate problem with them, have her go and take the baby if they want to see it..I'd stay as far away as possible!!!
2007-11-07 07:25:01 · answer #7 · answered by madsmaha1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay clear of them & start your own holiday traditions. Life is too short for b.s. If you put your best foot forward & people still don't accept you, then f@*k them.
2007-11-07 07:31:14 · answer #8 · answered by marcavelli0569 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't visit my husband's family during the holidays as they don't respect me. It's the best solution I've found. My husband goes alone w/ our children.
2007-11-07 07:26:14 · answer #9 · answered by Advantage-ME 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there&doing that!!! Just enjoy not having to be around them!!! When I have to speak, I am polite, and don't say much!!!
2007-11-07 15:51:02 · answer #10 · answered by happywjc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋