My husband died...in a fatal accident and some people just?

Question

acquaintenances asked me.."did you sue"..they brought it up by the way...I was SHOCKED THAT SOMEONE would even ask that!!!..I just said, No, why would you ask?..they said..I was just wondering how you support yourself...I just said.."I make ends meet"...what nerve...HAS THAT EVER BEEN ASKED OF YOU...also DO YOU FEEL IT IS ALRIGHT TO WHITE LIE IF you are confronted with a rude question?..i do...

Answer 1

People are just stupid and sometimes they talk and don't realize what they are saying.
Still yet there are the other people that say stupid stuff and don't care because they are just rude.
In a time of loss it is hard to say anything to the person who has lost someone. There is nothing a person can say to make the pain go away. And stupid questions can be ignored---just don't answer them if you don't want. During this time people need to leave you alone and you should never feel like you have to answer anything anyone ask you.
Sorry for your loss and all I can say is time heals but the pain never goes away!!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Answer 2

They did not mean to be rude. Suing is a way to punish the people at fault and if they had a disregard in some manner that caused your husbands death they should not be let off easily. They should have some type of penalty so that they don't put someone else in that same situation. What if the next time it was a child? Most people don't even know the outcome of the family they hurt and there lives go on as before. They show the same lack of caring of their actions as they don't know the outcome.

Answer 3

Dear Barbie:

I am very sorry for the loss of your husband. It's sad that people say inappropriate things at an inappropriate time. It really is no ones business if you filed a law suite or not. Although we all need money to live, no amount will replace the loss of a good man. My response to that question would have been no response I would have walked away.

I do not feel that what you did was wrong but, I personally would rather make them feel ignorant that they asked such a
question.

Answer 4

It is part of American culture to find someone to blame for a tragedy and then find someone to sue. This makes people think that questions like that are perfectly acceptable. I would answer the question thus:

"Suing someone will not bring my husband back, and frankly the thought of turning his life and death into a court case that boils down to 'how much can I get?' makes me physically ill." That will shut them right up. Not to mention, when the matter of supporting yourself comes up:

"I love my husband, but I don't need a man to keep from having to live in a box."

Good luck love, you've taken the high road. All life is not a legal battle. This coming from someone amid a family of lawyers and judges.

Answer 5

I'm so sorry to hear you are going through this... there are a lot of people that are naive and focus on the possible financial gain from a tragedy and they really don't mean to be rude by asking, but you're right it does come off as really rude.. No, it's not only ok for you to white lie but you don't even have to acknowledge the question.

Answer 6

I used to snap back with answers that would make the asker feel bad. I would say, my husband is dead and I am miserable is that what you wanted to know?

Now I have stopped doing that because I find that people are not trying to be mean they just do not know what to say or how to act. Death and Dying are not discussed in our society and there fore no one not the dying not the grieving not anyone else has any idea how to deal with it in a loving or healthy way. We need more at this time than any other in our lives and we do not know what to do to help and we do not know how to ask for help

Answer 7

First off let me offer my condolences to you.
Second if someone is asking you a question you don't feel comfortable answering just tell them that, "I'm sorry I don't care to discuss that with you at this time." That's not being rude, its the truth...better then lashing out.
I know when my daughter died I couldn't believe some of the things people would say to me. And then a very nice man explained to me that sometimes people don't know how to express themselves especially after the death of a person. Maybe that person just didn't know what to say to you and said the first thing that came to their mind and was standing there kicking themselves for blurting it out.
Again I'm sorry for the loss of you husband.....

Answer 8

Your not going to get over this ever...it's like a star for life, but you learn to live and ignore rude remarks from others who have no idea what your going thru.

Take it one day at a time and I sincerely, hope you will find the way to move on in life and I am deeply sorry for your loss and cannot tell you how I truly feel on the subject of death because I have not lost a loved one yet, but I assume it to be very horrible and one day my time will come and then I can share my experiences of this depth in sorrow.
Big Hugs XOXO

Answer 9

It's all about the money, isn't it.
I assume they meant did you sue some manufacturer or company etc.
I would just reply, "No, it didn't even cross my mind. BTW, I am alright. You cannot believe how many good people have been concerned for my well-being."
Not a bad word or thought in the bunch, but it tells them what type of person they are.

BTW, I hope things are looking better for you today~TC

Answer 10

What an inapropriate question for a person to inquire about. That is something so private! They should be asking about how you are coping and being interested in YOU rather than money. It is totally your call to lie or side-track the question or tell them it is none of their business. I'm sooo sorry about your husband, it is too bad you lost him in such a tragic way.