He says that he doesn't like his step dad and has no respect for him my daughter on the other hand loves my husband. I feel that my son is trying to break up my marrage. What would you suggest?
2007-11-07 06:13:01 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I see what you guys are saying but I will say that he has ADHD and has had meds but now he refuses to take them. He has gone with his step dad and my husband likes him but my son also stole a couple of my husbands trucks and wreaked one last summer when he broke into someones house. My sons Father hasn't been in his life in12 yrs My husband and i have been married now for 4 yrs.
2007-11-07 06:24:41 · update #1
Thanks for the suggestions.
2007-11-07 06:32:53 · update #2
Consequences. Consistent consequences provided by YOU, not the stepdad. He doesn't have to like you or your husband, but he does have to be respectful in your house. My son stole something and cannot go anywhere without me or an adult I trust until he earns my trust back. When he refuses to come with me and I have to leave him home, he loses television for a week. If you can't supervise him all the time, find consequences that you can enforce anyway. The TV cable might go with you, or the monitor cable for the computer, or have his cell service suspended if he won't hand over his phone. Make sure you and your husband are a united front. He shouldn't dole out punishments, but should back you up when you do. This way your son will see that his misbehaving brings you and your husband together to work as a team on the issue. If breaking up the marriage is the goal, that should put a stop to it.
2007-11-07 06:22:27 · answer #1 · answered by The Naughty Librarian 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is disrespectful because you allow him to be....Respect is a two way street...In order to get respect you have to give it...Does your husband respect your son? Your son can try all he wants to break up your marriage...but that can only happen if you and your husband allow it...You both have to stand united....I think your son could use some counseling...to get to the bottom of why he is dislikes your husband and why he feels the need to steal.....
Your son is acting out....he has some deep seeded anger and isn't sure how to channel it.......therapy would be a great idea...
2007-11-07 14:21:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well i know the age difference is a lot... but try this out. My cousin is 12 yrs old his daddy left him and his mom when he was 2. He has seen his dad maybe 4 times his whole life. H blames his mom for his dad not being in his life anymore. He kicks her, yells at her, calls her names.. strait tells her that she is the reason his dad isn't there. When hes with the other family members like me and my parents, he is such a great kid. His mom finally took him into counseling to find out what was wrong. The counselor told her to tell her son what happend to his dad and why he wasn't there. He left for drugs and not couse of his mom. He is a lil better now but...I don't know what to tell you. I really hope you and your husband get things figured out soon. Best of luck to you!
2007-11-07 14:48:08 · answer #3 · answered by Christine B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only way to deal with this situation is by talking about it with him, just one on one, that means you and your son and no one else, just talk about what upsets him, or what caused him to act this way. If its your new husband, then you gotta choice between your son, or the husband.
2007-11-07 14:35:41 · answer #4 · answered by Life and time, we are given on earth is amazing 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
everytime he acts like that put him in timeout like a 5 year old... and tell him that... lock his a s s up in the room and don't let him out for like an hour at a time and upwards the worse he gets...
you should have done that when he was 5... but hey, put the hammer down now.. after a few weeks or months he will know how to act.
2007-11-07 14:18:26 · answer #5 · answered by Latin G 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your son probably feels that he has been abandoned by you for another man... and has emotional issues over it.
I don't think that it is about not liking his step-dad, i think it's more about feeling unimportant in your life.
Perhaps consider therapy for him... and maybe you can join in on a session or two with him, as well... sometimes families don't share emotions, feelings and accidentally ignore each other's needs...
2007-11-07 14:18:07 · answer #6 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well maybe you should sit and have a good talk with your son and see his point of view on things. Maybe hes taking this in a wrong way and he feels he needs more attn from you since you are so involved with this other guy
2007-11-07 14:17:10 · answer #7 · answered by sexyexotik 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
how old was your son when you got married? did you discuss with him before you got married? does your husband have respect for you and your kids? you need to sit him down and have stern discussion with him, a normal talk will not help at this point. shorten his leash, do NOT make nicey nice with him, he needs to know who is in charge and it is not him.
2007-11-07 14:23:45 · answer #8 · answered by loriloriloriloriv 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
send him off with his dad. Dicipline should have begun early and its hard for a yougen to accept another father figure other than his. At the same time, your responsibility is with him...I would put his emotioanal needs before this other man.
2007-11-07 14:18:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Nothing like good swift kick
2007-11-07 14:18:55 · answer #10 · answered by Jackal 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋