My husband and I have been trying to conceive for over two years. A long time ago, before I got married, my (supposedly) best friend told me that I was "not allowed" to have kids before she did, since I was getting married before her. I just brushed it off and ignored the remark at the time. However, she has since gotten married and is now pregnant. She knows that we have been trying for a long time without success, and now that she is pregnant she is constantly calling me to give me updates on her pregnancy, her symptoms, etc. She also is making constant remarks about how my life must really suck because I'm not pregnant and how things are going so well for her because she is pregnant. I can't believe that she is doing this on purpose to hurt me, but it certainly seems that way! How can I deal with this?
2007-11-07 05:33:19 · 23 answers · asked by CharChar 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Trying to Conceive
I have a friend like that to.
shes very insecure and jealous.
she finally had a baby like 12 days before I did but our pregnancy's were in competition the 39 weeks.
how much weight you gained,whats ur due date. how big the baby is.
what did YOU get at your baby shower, I got this its "DISNEY"
and you know what she still does it now and well our daughters are almost 4 years old.
and I'm TTC now for our last one. and shes jealous about that. why this and why that your going to gain alot of weight. just bull shi-t
I'm married shes not (with the dad)
and she only finally calls me when they break up.
the hole point is she still has not grown up.
and just be happy that you are. and I'm so sure that you know u will have a baby soon just ignore her. and dont answer the phone and let the machine take it!
2007-11-07 05:49:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
And you call her a firend because? Dump her. Just flat out tell her that her remarks are rude and inconsiderate. that it upsets you and you don't wish to be friends with someone who is too insensative to keep her remarks to herself. The best way to do it, send her a greeting card that says "Sorry to see you go but....." That way when she calls you don't have to talk and if she comes over, you don't have to answer. Undue stress can be a factor in your not conceiving yet. Why continue to allow such a negative person to make you feel down about yourself. Just let her go. You don't owe her any explanations.
2007-11-07 13:42:26 · answer #2 · answered by Carol T 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your friend is so wrapped up in how exciting her pregnancy is that she doesn't realize how painful your situation is. I also think she is sharing all these details with you because you are her best friend, and she wants to share the important details of her life with you. She is being pretty insensitive about how she is sharing them though, and you need to tell her that. If she is any kind of friend she'll understand your feelings and respect them.
You have to be careful though. You don't want to tell her not to talk about her pregnancy, because she would take that as you not wanting to be supportive of her, and that she can't count on you to be there for her. I can understand how hearing about it would be painful, but you need to make a real effort to stifle those feelings of hurt and frustration, and find a way to be happy for her as well.
2007-11-07 16:30:08 · answer #3 · answered by missbeans 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is really that stupid and can't see that those remarks are completely inappropriate and rude and hurtful. I would just straight out say "Hey shut up! I am trying to get pregnant and your cruel words as a friend really sucks. So either be a friend or go away!" I hope she stops!
2007-11-07 13:40:49 · answer #4 · answered by Suzie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From the firstr bit you said it sounds like shes just excited about her pregnancy and wants to tell everyone especially you being her best mate and maybe its her way of involving you. On the other hand the comments about you not being preg is a bit below the belt and is obviously upsetting you. I think you should sit down and talk to her and tell her how she, and her comments are making you feel. Perhaps she doesnt realise shes hurting you feelings?
All the best and good luck at getting pregnant!
2007-11-07 13:43:29 · answer #5 · answered by Natz 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If she's just being thoughtless, bring it to her attention that her remarks are hurting you. If she's hurting you on purpose, then don't deal with her at all. She may be (tactlessly) trying to make you feel better by including you in her pregnancy and by sympathizing with your plight. If she's any kind of friend at all, even a clueless one, she will understand and stop this behavior once you make it clear that it causes you pain. If she's not a friend, then you have no issue, just don't be around her any more.
2007-11-07 13:37:24 · answer #6 · answered by Tresa R 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would ask her to please keep the details of her pregnancy from you at this time because you are becoming increasingly concerned with your inability to conceive. Your friend is being completely insensitive in saying your life must suck. I can understand her excitement in her own pregnancy and the symptoms but to rub this in your face and not be a true friend.
2007-11-07 13:42:26 · answer #7 · answered by babedoll_nj 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This person who is supposed to be your friend sure isn't acting like one! I would confront her on her next phone call, and tell her that while you're happy she's excited about her pregnancy, you're still trying to conceive, and it's not nice for her to make comments about you. If she has a problem with that, tough. She's not being considerate of you! I wouldn't talk to her if she keeps the same attitude.
Best of luck!!!
2007-11-07 13:43:12 · answer #8 · answered by Teresa 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
thats kinda in a way what my best friend did. she got married to him when they werent even dating 6 months. we are still friends and everything and she isnt mean like your friend is but i secretly think she thinks she has to be better. i got married june 26 2007 she got married july 26 2007 huh!! but then a day or 2 after they got married she called me and said she was a month preg. i told her we are even, i beat her to marriage and she beat me to pregnancy lol i made a joke out of it cuz weve been friends for 6 years on and off cuz of touch times. but we are all good now and she is 4 1/2 months preg.
2007-11-07 13:41:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Quit taking her phone calls. This behavior has been on going for some time it sounds like and not going to stop anytime soon.
Or you can wait around until she needs a baby sitter and say no, remember you said I was not qualified to take care of kids....
Good luck on conceiving.
2007-11-07 13:40:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋