Have any women taken back your man who cheated?

Question

I was such a stupid man, and my wife decided to work things out. I feel like crap about what I did, and I am completely remorseful. I wished I had never crossed that line because it wasn't worth it. The way I feel about what I did tells me I will never slip again. Have any of you women taken back your man? How long did it take to get back to being comfortable with him? We are getting along really well now and it's been just two months yet I still feel scared one day she'll say forget it and leave. What can I do to get closer to her again?

Answer 1

Keep trying your best. All you can do is put your heart and soul into your relationship and trust yourself not to cross that line again. You will probably never recieve complete trust from you mate ever again. She can forgive you but what is done is done and as a human, one has to protect themselves from pain. I forgive my husband for lies he has told, but know that I can't put 100% of my faith in him ever again. I believe we can still have a great marriage, but not the same as when you have security and faith. I have love but a little reserved. So, when you think your woman is going along fine and being happy - most likely she is, but she is still thinking about how much you disappointed her. Is she planning on leaving you - probably on some level - she'd be retarded not to at least think about it and put some p's and q's in order. I am not saying she is going to leave you - just saying trust is shattered and it may take years to get it back to a relaxed state in her mind. Hopefully you won't be foolish again. If you truly love her - hang in there and be patient. Just be you - the faithful you and it will shine through. P.S. you don't have to be perfect in everything you do or say - but you do need to be faithful and that is hard work for everyone.

Answer 2

Just show her your sorry by putting her first in your life. if she says forget it, honestly you brought it upon yourself. Theres nothing really you can do except put it behind you, don't remind her about it, and don't talk about it. Don't let her feel bad about it, its not her fault its yours. Show her she's the only one for you, remember Action speaks louder than Words.

I was cheated on 1 month after i had my husbands child, and then another year later. We've been together for 5 years now and were still growing strong. Sometimes I feel stupid for taking him back you know once a cheater always a cheater, but that is not always true. He's changed for the better by taking out all the possible temptations in his life. And i told him, 1 more time, i don't need you. Your gone. And its been 2 years now since he cheated on me. Your wife obviously loves you dearly, and maybe since you cheated on her, she now knows how much she really does love you. It opened my eyes. Maybe it did the same to her.

Hope i helped you out some, don't mope around about it all the time, that will get you nowhere. Just put it behind you and move forward with your marriage so you 2 can live happy together.

Answer 3

I have.

He said he was soo sorry, would never do it again, he even CRIED! He told me all of how he was feeling and why he made such a stupid decision, blah blah blah. I kicked him out, and the stress and hard-ache it caused me had such an effect on my physical condition, I was bed sick for almost a week. It really hurts to be deceived that way. Especially when it's not in the instance of a foolish-drunk one night stand, but in the instance of an on-going affair. It's crazy.

I took him back after a few weeks with all the promises of change he brought with him. I thought he really meant it. It took awhile to get completely comfortable again, and even though I tried not to dwell on it, it haunted me everytime I didn't know where he was. 6 months later, I woke up one morning and he was staring at me, crying. He said he had to tell me before i heard from someone else that there was a girl that was pregnant and she was calling it his child. He said he didn't know if it was.

It was time to go.

I hope that you truly do mend your ways and do not hurt your wife again that way. It is truly devastating when you love someone with your whole being and give your whole self to them to find out that they've been giving away some of theirself to another woman and then coming home to your bed at night.

Only time will heal things between you two and only time will help her regain trust in you. You have to prove it to her that you deserved the second chance she gave you. Make it your point to make sure she always feels special.
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Good Luck

Answer 4

My husband had basically cheating on me for the past 8 months with 2 or more girls. It has totally crushed my heart! He had fallen off the deep end for real. He got off of probation of 3 yrs and decided to start smoking pot again, then it went to coke to heroin. He was in denial and i left the state. He would not let me go (my heart) he swore he wasn't cheating and that i was crazy. He ended up bringing me back to the town we lived in. I still knew in my heart he was cheating so i went and got checked for everything under the sun cause the girl i thought he was with is a dirty whore, results came in and i was extremely emotional and i had to tell him that because of his actions i have to live with a disease for the rest of my life. and just 4 days ago he finally had an Epiphany and admitted to everything and that he was coming down and had a clear had and wanted to be with me and our kids only and away from the drugs the ruled his life for the past 8 months. i have loved him since i was 14 and i am now 29. I will always love him and probably always forgive him for his weaknesses. Call me stupid but I feel my heart belongs to him. I feel if you truly love the person unconditionally you'll be able to get through anything. When you make a commitment it's for better or worse and let me tell you I have been through hell with my husband and i still love him with all my heart. the best of luck to you. make sure you show her extra love and hold her as often as you can. Be prepared for bad emotional days and don't get mad at her just show her even more love ok. I hope you'll never put her through that turmoil again.

Answer 5

Oh man, I had to ponder a good while before I got to writing. I'm no saint myself. I hope things do work out between you and your wife because you don't know what you've got till it's gone... and for you it almost came to that point. That being said, you must stop thinking about what you've done wrong and really start thinking about what you can do right for her. Your fear that she may leave you should never damper those efforts. There are no guarantees, but there's no half-way to do it either. Give it your all at all times.
Best of love to both of you. Take care.

Answer 6

My husband had a drunken one night stand and he told me the very next day....like you he was devastated at what he had done...he begged my forgiveness and we sought counseling with our pastor and I forgave him. Today we are stronger than ever and expecting our first child together. I can tell you that it took less than a month for us to be comfortable around each other again...alot of that had to do with the fact that he was so remorseful and the fact that what he did was so out of his character and that he was so willing to do anything and everything to heal our marriage. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he will never do it again and I am at peace with my choice to forgive him. He is the love of my life!!

All you can do is keep doing what you're doing...let her grieve and let her be angry and let her talk to you about what she needs to talk about and be open and honest with her...in time she will let you in little by little. If she does change her mind and leave you have to know that you did the right thing to try to heal it and her decision has to do with her inability to truly forgive...


I'll be praying for you both!!

Answer 7

I stayed with my husband after I found out that he cheated. It was hard because I was working and going to school. And I felt like he used that to cheat on me (Because I wasn't at home as much). You just have to wait and see. Just make sure that you always keep the lines of communication open. Just try to make her feel comfortable with you much as you can. It's good you realize that you made a huge mistake. You have to deal with the cards you've been dealt. Good luck to you.

Answer 8

Just be grateful that she took you back. At least you're remorseful. It's good for you to be scared for awhile. Afterall, she has to be afaid of coming up with venerial disease in the future. Just keep being kind, loving and considerate. Bring some flowers home every once in awhile.

Answer 9

Funny, it's never a "mistake" until you get caught.

With that said, I did take my cheating husband back after I finally caugh him red handed after a year of suffering, denial and suspiction. We went to counselling and he was so willing to make things work, but I resented him for his deception and for what he did to me, our child and our family for that ugly crass uneducated fat skank.

The more he wanted to make things better, the more that I resented him. The more wonderful and remorseful he was, the angrier I got. I saw that it was just worth to trust him with my life and our family's future and his promises meant nothing to me. Once a cheater, always a cheater.

Even though we were going to counselling and he was remorseful and was doing everything right, it was just gross for me to think that he had put it, well there, with that dirty trailer trash whore. They embarrassed me as we all work for the same company. The lies said, the sneakiness, the cover ups upset me and his lack of and charachter irritated me to no end. Once I lost my faith in him and once he betrayed my trust...it was over for me no matter how many times he apologized. In my heart, nothing was worth what he has put my son and I through. He put our hearts through the mill and picked on fights just so he would have an excuse to leave the house to meet her in motels and such. How disgusting and low . Betrayal... lies... and all that suffering was it worth sacrifizing your family and your spouse's health?

I really tried to patch things up but I couldn't do it, as a matter of fact, counselling show me that I was worth more than what I had and was given. Once you lose that trust in your spouse, the marriage is ultimatly doomed and I refuse to live with the paranoia that it may happen again.

So I divorced him and he's paying dearly for it. He's still begging for me to take him back... no thanks.

Good luck

Answer 10

I think establishing the trust again is very important, like making sure you answer her calls and let her know what you are doing, if your plans change and keep her informed so she sees you don't want her to think you might be doing anything wrong. As for the trust, she might forget but i can tell you it will never be the same, unless you don't give her any reason to doubt you.