Depressed?

Question

Everyone knows my story... been TTC our first child for over 2 years. I finally decided to see the fertility specialist. I called to request an appointment and they sent me a packet of paperwork to fill out and send back. I got the paperwork last night.

When I was filling it out, I was asking my husband the questions that I didn't know the answer to. He wasn't cooperating very well. I asked him, "Do you think wanting to see a doctor for this is stupid?" He said, "Not stupid. Foolish, but not stupid." I asked him what he meant and he said, "Oh yea of little faith, Don't you know the Lord will bless us with a child in his time?"

Now, we are a Christian couple and I fully believe this, but I got really depressed. I threw away the papers. I don't think I can handle this anymore.

How do I break this depression?

His concern is not with the money. We have insurance right now that covers all copays.

Answer 1

Oh boy. Okay, this is the old science versus religion argument. Well I'm Christian too and I know how things like this can test your faith. Believe me, I've had my share of tests. I miscarried in my second trimester when it's supposed to be "safe".

Remind your husband of the parable Jesus told. The parable of the man in the flood, sitting on top of his roof top. Three boats came by to help him and each time he refused the help and declared he had faith that the "Lord will provide.". Then after dying in the flood couldn't figure out WHY his faith didn't save him and God himself told him that he did provide.. he provided THREE boats!!! Hello??? Tell your husband fertility specialists are YOUR boat in this flood you're in and they are God's way of helping you.

Don't be so blinded by the concept of faith that you miss HIS mighty hand reaching out to comfort and help you.

Go straight to the trash right now and get those papers. Fill them out and KEEP that appointment. Your boat is waiting...

Good luck and God Bless.

Rocker Wife...

Answer 2

I know how you feel, I have not been ttc as long as you, but i guess you could say we are 50/50 trying, just not stressing to much of making sure our timing is 100% if were off a little, that's okay, we still want to have fun while trying. if one of us is just not in the mood, ohwell! Your what 21-22 age wise. well me too I just turned 21 in march my husband is 25. Our whole thing with wanting a baby right now is that all the people we hang out with, are older than us for the most part and are having kids, we want our kids to grow up with them. We also want to be done having kids before we turn 30, which is only 5 years for him!

I can see why it is depressing 2 years is a long time. I guess the only thing i would suggest is take a break for 3 months and then try it again. Maybe it will lessen the tension a little. Or for now, just think if it happens great, if not we still got some time.

GOOD LUCK! Baby dust to all TTC!

Answer 3

You need to talk with someone about this. I feel so bad for you! I can see in the little bit of time I've been on here, that you want a child more than anything. Seeing a specialist is alot of money, so I can see you're husband's concern, but after two years I don't think the lord is helping you out on this one. Maybe their is a problem somewhere. Have either one of you been checked to make sure you can have a baby? Good luck, I really hope you get pregnant!!!! God bless & Good Luck!!!!!

Answer 4

I know how bad you want a baby trust me. But picture this do you want that baby without your husband being in the picture and he total support. I wouldn't. That is why we are taking a break and searching our hearts on what to do.

We are a Christian couple and believe that God will put people or things in your path to help you. So we are searching it out to see if God wants us to see a specialist. My hubby was not really on board with seeing a specialist or else we would already be there already.

So about a week ago we prayed and told God that if we are meant to have a baby and see a specialist that he would provide a way. (our insurance doesn't cover fertility treatments and we have some money in savings but not nearly enough). Well the next night my grandma called to see how the ttc was going with the Clomid. I told her not well and we were taking a break. She said she called to tell us that she would like to finacially help with seeing a specialist. I started crying and told her what we prayed last night. We are still not ttc until the new year just to take a break and not be so stressed through the holidays.

If you have a true desire to be a mommy, God put that desire in your heart. He does not taunt us with something he won't fullfill if he placed it in our heart. God blesses people with their hearts desires but in his own way and time. Sometimes that may mean without any outside help but we believe God granted certain people the wisdom to help achieve his ultimate goals.

Some feel fertility treatments are playing God but if we looked at it that way then getting a flu shot or a diabetic taking their insulin or someone getting an organ transplant or even a routine checkup could be playing God. God can work through and in so many ways to reach people.

Just try to be patient and talk it over with your hubby. Maybe you two can meet with your minister or another member of your spiritual beliefs to counsil you through this. I think you need to see a doctor but you have to wait until God lays that on both of your hearts. Best wishes and I know you will see a BFP soon same as I will!!!!

Answer 5

oh I'm so sorry i know how hard this is as we've also been TTC for over 2 years as well and i too tend to get depressed and we're a christian couple as well and i also strongly believe that in the lords time he will bless us all with a family me, you and everyone on here. no i don't think its a foolish decision to see a doctor i would have done it already if we had the money (no insurance) i think you should go and see the doctor just to see if everythings ok. good luck and take some time to think about it and pray about it and everything will fall into place.

Answer 6

He's probably angree at it also, but don't feel depress the Lord hears your cry and I bet you by the end of the year I'll happen to you, Fill out the information on that paper and visit the fertility dr. it isn't stupid nor foolish what your doing, and if you really want that child so bad what your heart desire you would do anything it takes to get it even if its worth puttting what your husband said behind you, remember the Lord would never put more on you that u can't bare.

and I agree with Rocker Wife

Answer 7

Yes, you have to have FAITH, but I also believe that God expects us to do all the WE can do, too. It's not stupid to see a fertility specialist, especially if you have been ttc for over 1 year and for you it's been 2! Usually, there are physical or hormonal reasons for infertility that can be easily fixed by a specialist.

I'm sorry that your husband isn't more supportive! That has got to be VERY difficult!!! Infertility can definitely put a huge strain on a marriage!!! Maybe he is just afraid to find out that the problem is HIM!

Good luck! And if you are really depressed, maybe it would be a good idea to get some counseling It is definitely not uncommon at all for couples experiencing infertility issues to seek counseling. Depression is common!!!

Answer 8

OK, how about you fill out the papers and see what's happening with you? If it's not you than it's your husband. Unfortunately, God didn't bless all of us to be able to conceive so easily. It is still ok though to go and get treatment, and fix the problem. If you agree with your husband that it will be the best for both of you to go through another route and adopt, than that is also a great thing to do, but i know that you will never be satisfied not knowing if it is in fact something you could help and maybe conceive a child of your own. Reorder those papers, fill them out, and tell hubby to be patient with this, as it's something you feel will bless the home, as well as the relationship. Good luck,
XOXO!!!

Answer 9

The good Lord also blessed these doctors with the ability to conjure up medications and methods to help women along the way. God is a miracle worker, but he cant make all his miracles fall out the sky; it would make the world go CRAZY so he put fertility clinics here for that purpose. GIRLFRIEND.....get up, get those papers out the trash and send them in. If you dnot know the answers, leave it blank! He wants a baby too and he has a hard time expressing himself. I bet he was right beside you as you were filling them out; anxiously awaiting the results, wanting the same miracle you desire but he cant express that because it takes away from his macho role. Men suck! Dont be depressed, you obviously are stronger and the one he is depending on to get all the ducks lined up. You just let him down by throwing the papers away. GET THEM OUT THE TRASH RIGHT NOW!!!

Answer 10

I totally understand how you feel. My husband and I have been trying for a little over two years, and I have always wanted to do everything we can to get pregnant. My husband, however, is very laid back about it and says it will happen when it happens and that we shouldn't worry about anything. This is very frustrating for me and sometimes I feel like he doesn't really understand what I'm going through. He says he doesn't know why I'm so upset about it because we've both been tested and there is nothing wrong with either one of us, but this only makes things more frustrating for me because I can't understand why it isn't happening for us! I would still keep the appointment. Talk to your husband about how you feel. It really hurt my feelings when my husband would try to minimize our fertility issues, but he never knew he was hurting me until I told him so. Maybe after you talk to him he will be more open to seeking help from a doctor. Good luck!