How Do You Deal With Regret???

Question

When I look back, I feel regret after regret. Regret about going to the wrong school, regret about being friends with the wrong people. I feel that I have not maximised and made the most out of the opportunity available. I feel that I have missed out on good things in life as well as in the world.

How does one deal with such a feeling???

When I think about the times when I didn't realise my full potential and as a result I under-performed and I under achieved, those memories are the hardest to deal with. These include times in my academic and professional career, personal life, in regards to health and fitness, in regards to relationships, sex and love etc.


Sorry if I am repeating this. I would like to get maximum feedback.

Answer 1

no i have let go of regret

Answer 2

You need to learn to forgive yourself and move on, no matter what the regret concerns. Regret is an emotion that keeps you looking backward, in the past. It's hard to move forward that way. And you can't live in the present or even look forward to the future with you mind always in the past.
You need to change this and I'll tell you some things that have worked for some. Realize that the past is the past...there's nothing you can do to go back and change it, what's done is done. Learn from it....if you're feeling regret, what's it about? How can you learn from this and avoid the same or similar regrets later? To learn from something, takes a negative situation and brings something positive out of it. Forgive yourself....even after you think you've dealt with this, it may come back later in your thoughts and memories and you'll still feel bad about it. Each time it does say a little prayer asking forgiveness from God, for others to forgive you and for help in forgiving yourself.
Close the book on missed opprotunities. You can't get them back, but you might be blinded from regret to the ones right in front of you. Choose to start this day as "The first day of the rest of your life". (sorry to use such an overused quote)
Don't be too hard on yourself. If you feel regret it means your moral compass is working.
Remember this popular quote: Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. But today is a gift, that's why we call it the present.
Don't let regret rob you of your present.

Answer 3

Learning to let go and live is the best way to deal with regret. It is never ever to late to live the life that you have always wanted.

Everything in life is a choice, and you can choose not to live in the past. Living in regret will just depress you and keep in feeling the same way you are right now.

You also cant harp on the "what might have beens". What might have been isnt what was. What you can do is live in this moment.

Make a list of things you WANT to do. Dont sit around thinking about the past and complete the list. Give your self realistic goals and some goals that feel out of reach. The satisfaction that you will feel by completing these will melt away the past.

Health and Fitness is something that you mentioned that can really be a mood lifter. Taking regular walks and excercising can really boost your energy, your endorphines and improve your life. Start small, like short walks.

Prayer goes a long way too. Ask God to take the weight of regret off of your shoulders. He will help you get through this.

Good luck and God Bless. I pray that you start living the life that you want today :-)

Answer 4

You are certainly on the right track because you realise all of your missed opportunities, and can now take full advantage of your mistakes by making wiser choices from this point on.

It takes a person with values to realise their mistakes and change for the better and you have definitely earned my respect. Because no one really ever admits their failures even though they are a part of life's lesson.

It is also a natural thing to do, only some people correct the problem earlier than others. What you can do to correct your feelings of yourself is to be a mentor to a child. There are so many young people who are raising themselves because they're parent/s are working longer hours and they need someone to give them the attention and guidance so that they too can avoid falling into your situation.

I'm sure if you could make a difference in someone elses life that you will appreciate and understand why things happened in your life the way they did and you will eventually have no regrets.

Answer 5

Well i know the feeling to an extent, and I find what really helps me is to just remind myself that 1) everyone screws up now and then, 2) it's a learning experience 3) even if you had changed some stuff... you don't know for sure it would have made things any better... sometimes it's easier to just accept that life isn't always going to be a joy ride. Plus, it's a learning experience, and even though you may feel like you have regret after regret, you've also made lots of decisions that you don't regret... try and focus on those!

It's like in school when teachers only point out your mistakes, but never think to congratulate you when you do something right.

Answer 6

Your brother explained to his followers that we are the sum of everything that has ever happened to us, the things you've done, be they less than you feel you could have done, are what makes you the person you are today.

For a moment forget about the regret - are you generally content with the person you are today?
Think about what you have over what you don't have, friends, family, home, job, experiences, it's these things that if you could change your past would also change.

Suppose you'd gone to a different school you might have died on a canoeing holiday, you might have got a job that paid more but caused you to be permanantly stressed, you might have married a snobbish wife, got divorced and lost everything of value to you, the posibilities are endless.

Regret over things that in hindsight you didn't achieve is pointless and will only get you down, you can't change any of them anyway, it's better to feel regret over the things you had the opportunity to do but for whatever reason never did.
At least you can use that regret to be more positive and determined to do things when you can in the future.

Answer 7

Everything you have done until now has made you the person you are - do you not like yourself? We can say I regret not doing the lottery because I MIGHT have won.. . . . there are no guarantees that doing things another way would have achieved anything, and you might still not like yourself! You seem to have a problem with acceptance, you need to accept yourself as you are and then build. Take time to make decisions and think where each step may take you, look after your whole being and your well being.

Answer 8

I face regret by trying to come to terms with it by not doing it again. See it as a lesson that at the time you didn't learn from but now you can. Whats done is done just don't do it again. Learn from it turn it into a lesson that you can fix now... Seriously you can't do nothing about it, its in the past so fix the future so you won't have the same regrets.. Hope this helps... dont beat yourself up too

Answer 9

Regret is a dangerous feeling.. never think about what you should have done, concentrate on what you want to achieve in the future, worrying about the past is pointless and wont change anything. Remember live for today because tomorrow is Thursday...

Answer 10

In a sense you should never regret doing anything in life. Every single act that you do has a history to it - I call it Karma -it's either good or bad.

Look back on your life (I don't know how old you are) and see where there were mistakes.... ALL of us make mistakes, in fact every day of the week. Try not to dwell on them and always look to tomorrow.

My advice is to, at the end of the day, spend a few minutes looking back on the day's activities - see the good things and store them away in your mind - observe the bad things and lock them away in that box called 'Lessons Learnt!

Peace!!

Answer 11

Yes, I know what you are saying. My biggest regret is that I didn't finish my nursing course, I was in my final year. I still feel that but there is nothing you can do about the past and a lot you can do about the future. Just learn from mistakes and move on as best you can.