My friend and I no longer have common lives...?

Question

I have a friend that I have known for almost 15 years. We became friends in high school but since college we have become less and less similar. I have a job, she's still in school. She is uncomfortable talking with me about her relationship or money, I find our conversations very generic for people that used to be so close and I found myself not wanting to talk to her. I stopped calling her last January but she has continued to call me monthly since then, and it's been nearly a year. I feel bad to ditch her like that but she obviously doesn't feel the same way about our friendship and I don't know how to tell someone that I don't want to be friends anymore. Does that make me an awful person? Any advice would be helpful.

Answer 1

No, you are not an awful person, and if you think about it, people walk into and out of our lives all of the time... and i think for reasons, too.

You can still talk with your friend once a month if you like -- i'm sure she realizes there is a bit of distance between the two of you... but she may want to connect, and still has friendly feelings for you, even though you live separate, and different lives these days, and you are not super close anymore...

I have a good friend, and moved 1000 miles from her, but we still email and talk on the phone from time to time. We have different lives, too, but i still care about her, and am always happy to hear from her.

Answer 2

If she's the one that still calls and you're the one that wants to end the friendship, it sounds to me like you're the one that has changed. You're never obligated to be someones friend...but it sounds like she needs one! One of the things that makes one a great friend is to be able to provide comfort and be there for someone DESPITE their differences! She may be uncomfortable talking about her relationship and money because she's embarrassed...but if you truly want to make this friendship work, then try to be compassionate toward her and tell her that you may not have the answers but that you're always there to listen...if you're still willing to do that!