I found a blunt of marijuana in his car. I know in the past before we even got married he has been doing it and thought he was about to quit. I have never approved of this from him but he seems to get away with it. He said that for sure he would stop smoking. I ended up throwing it away and crushing it and he insisted that I'd give it back to him to through away himself. He also was in denial for a bit lying saying it wasn't his etc etc. He thinks I"m dumb but I smelled it in the car and looked into his ashtray to find that crap. I used his car yesterday and he went out to the store later when we got home. I know that he went to smoke it during that time because it wasn't there when I had the car. How do you deal with this? What would you do about this situation?
2007-11-07 03:26:41 · 19 answers · asked by Txgirl23 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Wow surprisingly he said he would quit on his own because he wants too! We'll see how long this will take for him to mess up or not?
2007-11-07 05:55:38 · update #1
I'd be much more upset about the lying than the pot. The herb is no big deal (less issue than alcohol) but what else might he be lying about and if he's doing to do something that leaves such obvious signs (such as an aroma) it's stupid to lie about it.
Discuss the issue with him and that trust has been broken due to his dishonesty. How you want to deal with him continuing to smoke the herb is up to you.
2007-11-07 03:30:18 · answer #1 · answered by . 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I don't mean to knock you here but I'm probably going to offend you. Pot is not a threat to an adult who is financially and emotionally sound. As a teenager it can often be trouble however b/c it can often become a "gateway" drug. In your husbands case I do not think you have much to worry about.
I ALSO do not think he would be lying about it unless you demonized the substance so much. He probably still holds fast to his belief (and many other people's beliefs) that it is no big deal all the while trying not to upset your fragile mindset on the matter. Please research the affects of smoking weed and you will gladly prefer he be doing that then hiding a bottle of Gin under his car seat.
2007-11-07 03:49:32 · answer #2 · answered by Alaina's Mumma! 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is not as bad as you think.I think you should compromise and try to understand why he does what he does.Are you having problems at home or he is just doing it because he likes it.Try to get to the bottom of it and find out the reason without criticizing him,approach him as a friend because if he is lying to you that means that he knows you are very against it and would be very mad should you find out and you did find out your are angry just as he thought you would react.Surprise him with your understanding and comfort him by telling him that its OK if you know what he does because if he wants to do it he will do it.If there is a will there is a way.It would be better for you to know what he does than him lying to you about it.If you are happy with this guy and he treats you good and he is basically good to you i say don't stress it too much.Why don't you read some of the problems other people are going through here on Yahoo, under marriage and divorce section, you will see that this is really not that big of a deal.Good Luck.....
2007-11-07 03:41:04 · answer #3 · answered by SUPERMAN 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
How would I handle this? I don't have problems with pot. Marijuana is not physically addictive, although it is habit forming. I'd much rather have a husband who smoked pot than drank. I would be angry that he 1) smoked it in his car 2) let me in the car with that in there 3) lied to me about it.
Do you not approve of pot smoking because it's illegal or because you don't like it yourself? I can understand chewing him out for smoking and driving or keeping it in the car due to possible encounters with law enforcement. It's wrong to enforce your personal choices on another just because you're married. To me, that's just like telling someone how to dress or who to be friends with. The thing is the harder you come down on him, the more disapproving you are, the more it's going to cause friction and put him in a position to want to lie-although I don't think it gives him the right to do so. Now is a time for an honest discussion because it kinda does sound like he thinks you're naive and can get over on you, which carries over into other facets of your marriage. "Give it back to me and I'll throw it away myself" ha ha ha! yeah right!
2007-11-07 04:35:41 · answer #4 · answered by Sandy Sandals 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he was doing it before you married him why did you marry him before he stopped? Now you have a serious issue with using the car. If you get stopped for a routine traffic stop and the officer smells it in the car, could you convince him that you were not smoking it? Then if he finds the blunt.........
2007-11-07 03:37:37 · answer #5 · answered by Boat Junkie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say let him be. There are worse things he could be doing. Pot is not that bad. As long as he is a great husband/father/supporter. At least he's not a drunk, or sticking needles in his arm. Is he going to the nudy bar every night. A little weed won't hurt anybody. Give him a kiss and let it go.
2007-11-07 04:17:03 · answer #6 · answered by x-ta 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to make him face his addiction. I know that marijuana is not a hard core drug but if he said he quit then and he hasn't what else is he lying about in your marriage?
2007-11-07 03:37:37 · answer #7 · answered by iaidoka1967 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sit down and have it in front of you and ask him what up or why he feels the need to have that again. try and be nice about it rather then scolding him like a dog cause might only push him to reject your help and he might do it more. i know it might seem hard to resist to kill him and put him down about it but the nicer you are about it the better the results, if all of that fails then take a hard line about it, but if you can try and avoid that and iff how it goes to get him to stop.
2007-11-07 03:31:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
it is the lying that is the issue..he has broken ur trust and that is very hard to get back..tell him if he doesnt stop u will leave...u know they have over the counter drug test know? make him pee 4 u once a month
2007-11-07 03:46:16 · answer #9 · answered by mim 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gosh I dunno, it seems to me if you are very against marijuana, you shouldn't have married him if he smoked it and you knew about it. That is something that A LOT of people do, and many wont give that up. He has to either give it up or you have to deal with it, otherwise he's just going to lie and keep doing it.
2007-11-07 03:30:23 · answer #10 · answered by Brittney 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋