Could you forgive your spouse if he was an otherwise decent man and then you found out he had cheated on you and had carried on a phone relationship with the woman for more than a few months?
2007-11-07 03:06:17 · 28 answers · asked by missapparition 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Clafification...he DID sleep with the woman and then AFTER carried on the phone relationship.
2007-11-07 03:13:00 · update #1
No way. He'd be long gone. And he knows it!
2007-11-07 03:09:34 · answer #1 · answered by ♫♪Bag♫♪ 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It would be very hard to forgive, I never been in that situation, but if I were, I guess it would depend on the circumstances that resulted in why he cheated. People cheat for different reasons. Some reasons can be selfish, yet some are understandable. Mind you, I do not condone cheating for any reason. But if a wife knows in her heart that her man is basically a decent guy, then I would look into the marriage and the causes that lead to bringing in a third party. Also, the spouse that cheated would have to really be at a point of full disclosure and remorseful, and take full responsibility and willing to do anything to rebuild the hurt and damage his cheating has created. As I have said it would be hard to do, but no one ever said working for something you know is worth saving was ever easy. I hope it all works out to your best interest.
2007-11-07 03:30:57 · answer #2 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't believe some of the stupid answers i have read. Dove said (I have no respect for the person who forgives the cheater) isn't that comment a little backward. I thought it's the cheater you shouldn't forgive not the person being cheated on. Another answer (once a cheater always a cheater) that's not true, if a husband has learned from his mistakes and is truly sorry for his actions he will make sure it never happens again by never putting himself in the same situation. I could go on but i think you get the point I'm trying to make. So many women are willing to throw away a good husband because he has made a mistake. I'm talking about one mistake not two,two is unforgivable. How many times have you seen a wife divorce her husband because he cheated on her. He remarries and is the best husband a woman could ever have.
My husband cheated on me 10 years ago and i have never forgiven him for cheating on me and never will, but that's ok that's me that's how i am. I still love my husband and i show him everyday how much i love him. I have to believe that he has learned from his mistake and will never do it again. I think a husband deserves that much after all we women can be pretty bitchy when we want to be and hard to live with. I'm not saying that is an excuses for cheating. I don't care how the wife is there is never a good enough reason for a husband to cheat on his wife. Lets face it ladies we want what we want and our husbands are bewildered at our behavior and don't know what to make of us.
Any woman who has never been cheated on has no business answering this question because they all are going to say that they wouldn't put up with it. Hell that's what i use to say until it happened to me. Ladies i got news for you unless it happens to you,you have no idea what you will or will not do trust me on this.
2007-11-07 04:08:28 · answer #3 · answered by Teenie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I could forgive and I have forgiven because I'm trying to live right and I'm a Christian that believes what the bible says. Forgive and you shall be forgiven. You can forgive but it's now your choice whether you are going to remain in the marriage. Is he willing to do whatever it takes to make amends with you and be the man and husband that he should be to you? If he's willing to stay and you're willing to let him stay then please work it out. If he's up for counseling and "proving" that he's trust-able and faithful to you, then try and give it another shot. But don't let him or other people make decisions for you. If you're not sure what to do at this point please don't do anything. When people react on emotions it's always the wrong decision. You're going to have to pray long and hard and wait to see what God says He wants you to do. I hope the best for you and your husband.
2007-11-07 03:48:08 · answer #4 · answered by paytaymak 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never in my life would I get into a relationship with a man who cheated on me, nor would I love a man capable of hurting me this way..... If he did cheat, I would realize this is not the man I fell in love with, it's time to move on.
Forgiveness? Sure, why not, I'd feel sorry for him. Forget, NEVER! I would never stick around to try and make it work with someone like that either - no matter what our history was.
2007-11-07 03:26:56 · answer #5 · answered by Betty 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
For me it comes down to whether you want to forgive him.
If you do, it'll take work. (...and may not be something you will ever forget.) You'll really have to talk ...and to listen.
That said, I'd also be clear that the relationship with the other woman must end. (He has to make an effort to show he wants to hold on to you and your marriage; that's tough to do with another woman on the side.)
2007-11-07 04:43:07 · answer #6 · answered by B-strong 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The one thing that will end it all would be infidelity. In time I will come to forgive him since we have a child together but the two of us would be kaput, no more us. Only kind of relationship we'll have is friendship nothing more.
2007-11-07 03:12:46 · answer #7 · answered by Flower 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no. how can you or anyone else? i have no respect for any woman or man that forgives their spouse after they have cheated. plus how can you say they are decent. they took those vows and if they were decent than they should of honored them.
2007-11-07 03:12:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Once a cheater, Always a cheater...If you forgive him and decide to keep him around, he'll just see you as someone to walk on. He'll cheat again! Obviously he wasn't sorry and he didn't care about your feelings because he decided to keep in contact with the other woman.
A Man's Strength Is In His Character...Only a weak man has to cheat.
2007-11-07 03:20:39 · answer #9 · answered by ZarahzMA 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No he has no respect for you what so ever especially considering he's still talking to her. I know its hard but ya gotta do whats right and just get rid of him. You think he won't do it again, think again!!!! And if u do forgive what kinda LIFE will you have always remembering and thinking about it, you'll drive yourself crazy its not worth it!! Keep your dignity!
2007-11-07 03:41:37 · answer #10 · answered by NY Yanks Girrl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No way. I'm worth far more than that, and do not settle for being cheated on. Ever. There is NO reason good enough for the other person to not be able to be honest. Ever.
2007-11-07 04:27:18 · answer #11 · answered by Unicornrider 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋