Sister pregnant before me, but if she has a daughter.....?

Question

My sister is pregnant before me. I found out if she has a daughter she wants to name her after my Grandmother. I wanted to use my Grandmother's name as a middle name IF I have a daughter. Should I still use it as a middle name? I don't think my sister is entitled to use it because I was 100% closer to my grandmother than she was...I know there is not much I can do but help pls?

Answer 1

My sister and I are having the same problem! Only in our case, it's if we have a boy. But, we have due dates within a week of each other! So, really it's a race to the finish.

Like you (in vice versa), I was very close to my grandfather, while she was closer to my grandmother. I'm a bit put out with her actually. Since my grandfather died I've expressed wanting to name a child after him. My sister has only just recently started talking about that after she found out she was pregnant. I feel like she should know how important that name is to me and this should be a time that we share together us being on the same timeline and everything.

I actually plan on getting together with her and having a serious talk about it. I don't suppose it makes any difference if two children in our family have the same name in their name, but it seems odd to me.

I should tell you that I have 2 aunts. My first aunt had a boy and named him Grey. My other aunt had a girl and named her Lauren Grey. Nobody even thinks twice about it, but that might be because they're not the same sex?

So good luck! No matter what your sister does, you should name you baby how you want her to be named. If you have your heart set on your grandmother's name, by all means use it. If you don't, you might seriously regret it!

Good luck!

Answer 2

Wait and see what she has. It may not be an issue. However, she's just as entitled as you are. Just because you were closer doesn't mean you automatically "get" the name. Talk to your sister and just explain that you really wanted to use your grandmother's name. See if your sister is ok with you using it, too, or see if she'll back down and choose another name for her baby. Or, tell her she can have the name if she helps you find a new one. She wants it for the first name, you want it for the middle. I'd say she gets the name because her child is first and she intends to call her child that name each day, whereas you'll only use it when you're yelling at yours :-). If you both want it for a middle, then it's fine for you both to use it, but then you should use it for any subsequent daughters that either of you have.

Answer 3

Well...no one can tell another person that they CAN'T use a name for their child. It's simply rude and assuming. She's entitled to name her daughter whatever name she sees fit...that's not ever going to be your decision, just like she will have no say over whatever you decide to name your children.

Since you were planning on only using it as a middle name...you still can regardless if your sister uses it as a first name. It can be that it's more the name then the relationship that you sister wants to use it.

At any rate...since you're NOT pregnant and having a daughter right now & your sister doesn't know IF she's having a girl...it's a moot point. Plan on using it for a middle name should you ever get pregnant with a daughter....but for now I wouldn't worry about it. You may not have a daughter in the future, she might be carrying a boy... and fighting about it now will cause you both undue stress.

I know it's not what you want to hear...but it's reality. And something to hold on too...she may decide on her own later on that she doesn't want to use the name. (my younger sister had a name all picked out her entire pregnancy...when the baby was born she didn't like it and changed it to another name)

Answer 4

You can still use it as a middle name for your future daughter.

There is about 10 people in my family with the same middle name (Elizabeth), there is another 20 with the same middle name (Lee), and there is 10 Lynn, and 10 with Marie.

It is not uncommon to have the same name throughout the family.

For you to say your sister is not entitled to use the name is selfish and childish. For goodness sake you both want to honor your grandmother, that should be the main focus.

Answer 5

Sorry, but she is just as much entitled to use it as you are. What if you never have a daughter? Then nobody will get to use your Grandmother's name. Also, I don't see any problem of you using it as a middle name if she uses it as a first name.

Answer 6

The name has special meaning to your family because of your grandmother. I think that because of the there is absolutely nothing wrong with one of you using it as a first name, and the other using it as a middle name. In fact, I think that it is a lovely tribute.

Answer 7

There is nothing wrong if you both use the name....after all, it is a name, and not a piece of property....it is not illegal, and i don't think anyone will think of it as wierd or tacky that you both used the name....you are both wanting to honor your grandmother...so that means she as a very special lady. My dad passed away when I was five...and so far I have 5 cousin named after him....all in various forms, but I also named my first child after him....does it seem strange to us? NO! It means that we all loved him dearly, and this is a way that we pass along his name and memory.

I say go for it...if you heart was set on using the name,then I would use it, you may regret it later if you don't

Answer 8

You can name your daughter (if you ever have one) anything you want. It would be fine to use your grandmothers name as her middle name even if your sister uses the name for her daughter.

Answer 9

You can still use your grandmothers name as your daughters middle name. I think that it is sweet and if you are that close to her then do it.

Answer 10

yes i think it would be okay to use that as a middle name if you have a girl. but don't start a family fight talk 2 ur sister and tell her taht you love that name and you also wanted to use it as a middle name if you had a girl. (try not to menchion anything about you being closer to your grandma) see what she says. if she gets her feelings hurt then tell her that you don't even know if you are having a girl ever. be as nice as possible. and if it starts a huge family fight consider changing your mind.


Good Luck