My BF is very sweet and caring, but much jealous im tired of this behavior. Im neither jealous nor possesive , I know he has what it takes to change this but it has pass 8 months and the change is way too slow for me, i love him but im tired...I know what i should do but I also know in my heart that one day he would make and excellent husband....do I follow my heart or my common sense? I do believe that love sometimes com with sacrifices but Im not a dreamer or a love starving kind of person which also makes me look heartless..and make me feel like a unsensitive *****.... i beat myself up for not feeling what a normal female would when they are dating or in a relashionship, I am tired of always thinking about me me me and i don't do this in purpose I just do.......what do i do?
2007-11-07 03:02:11 · 15 answers · asked by nica mami74 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
YOU LEAVE. ITS NOT BEING SELFISH AT ALL. YOU HAVE TO BE HAPPY TOO
2007-11-07 03:05:38 · answer #1 · answered by MISS TT 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are not selfish. I went through something very similar. Long story short, he was a great guy. No one could understand why I wanted to leave him. I was so afraid of the drama of breaking up since we lived together and he paid for almost everything. oh, we were engaged. I just was not feeling it. I am noticing a lot of girls go through this. Its the comfort and familiarity that you are afraid of losing, not the guy really.
Its normal for you to think about the way you feel all the time because you are not happy. You need a stronger more secure guy. You are not unsensitive, maybe he is just too insecure and emotional. That gets old SO fast! It makes you feel like. . . "just shut up already"!
Go find a guy that doesnt need his self esteem built up by his girl. Share happiness and security with a guy, dont maintain it for him.
well, good luck!
2007-11-07 03:19:54 · answer #2 · answered by ChryBomb 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Grow up first of all! I think you need to take a step back and try and figure out what is best for you in your life. And you can't make someone change! Trust me No matter how much you try they are going to be who they want to be!! I was in a relationship for over 4 years and stayed in it thinking that some day he would be the man I knew he could be and that's not fair to me or to him!! He couldn't be what I needed him to be and no matter how much I loved him or how much I tried to make it work! It was never going to happen! And now I have found the love of my life and he is everything I could ask for and MORE! So you need to just realize what is more important in your life.
2007-11-07 03:08:43 · answer #3 · answered by Kassie D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds to me like your heart is telling you it's not worth fighting for. he may make an excellent husband one day but are you willing to take the risk and stick with him until then? you only have one chance at life, so make your you're happy and that you don't waste a second of it being with someone you're not sure about. there are other sweet and caring men out there, ones which will light your fire as i don't get the impression that this man does. of course you need to think about you and your needs. it's not selfish to end a relationship, it's life x
2007-11-07 03:14:26 · answer #4 · answered by Lucy C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Follow your heart, waiting can be a dangerous game..it just makes leaving harder in the end. Maybe try and tell im that you cannot handle it anymore and take some time apart. He may see your perspective after you 2 get some space and try and make some changes himself. Good Luck.
2007-11-07 05:08:18 · answer #5 · answered by tennis03 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope. Obsessively possessive people can just wear you down. It actually is considered abuse when their possessiveness causes them to act inappropriately or become distrustful for no reason. These actions can turn a good person into a seriously bad person before you know it and if you feel guilty now....it'll be worse after you are married. He needs to seek professional help because this does stem from insecurities within himself that he needs to work through.
2007-11-07 03:08:45 · answer #6 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
would you want your husband to be constantly jealous and not trusting you?? jealously breeds to hate and distrust and isn't good in a relationship...
i know that you love him and he may love you as well but deep down he may always feel like he has to compete to get your attention... some men feel this way
you are not a cold-hearted person for wanting whats best for yourself...take a step back and relax.. write out what you are looking for in a mate and what you want out of a relationship... that will help you narrow down the losers from the winners..
hope all goes well for you
2007-11-07 03:13:02 · answer #7 · answered by kellisdomain29 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The desire to end a relationship in which you are not happy is not selfish at all. Better to do it now than to let it drag on and maybe end up in a divorce instead of a break up!
And, keep in mind...you cannot change who a person is. Your man will not change.
2007-11-07 03:07:16 · answer #8 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not happy, and he's not making the effort it would take to save the relationship. I think that says it all. Doesn't help thinking hoping and wishing, it's the here and right now that actually matters.
2007-11-07 04:32:17 · answer #9 · answered by Unicornrider 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, the thing with people who suffer this terrible jealousy is that they very rarely get better, they usually get worse. I think that if you really have tried everything then you are not selfish to leave, you deserve someone who loves you as much as you love them, not someone who makes your life hell.
2007-11-07 04:33:22 · answer #10 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can follow you heart as much as you want, but you know where thats going to get you. common sense tell you that it going to hurt for a while if you move on but it will get better. id listen to common sense cause your heart is only hurting you and thats not good for anyone.
2007-11-07 03:17:39 · answer #11 · answered by Nessaja 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋