Why is it impossible to achieve quality in a romantic relationships?

Question

Every relationship has a chaser and a chasee. Either the man is in control and the woman is chasing him (bad boy) and never really catches him (why she falls in love and stays Interested in the first place).

Or... The woman is in control and the man is chasing her (nice guy) but never really catches her (because she knows she has him by the balls).

Why does it have to be like this? Seems there are no couples who are equally satisfied in their relationship. There is always one person who feels like they settled or is hoping to get something better, and one person who is not satisfied because they can't get all the attention or love they want from their partner.

Answer 1

Actually, when you give up the drama...there are relationships based on trust, honesty, commitment and accepting the other person for who they are.

There are people out there mature enough to do this, it is just a matter of deciding what you want and meeting that person. Wasting time with drama and games is just that...wasting time.

Find out early on what kind of person you are with (go deeper than sexual attraction) and move on if they are not willing to be in a healthy relationship.

Answer 2

I know it seems like this is always the case RT, but in actuality in a healthy relationship no one is in control all of the time. In good relationships someone may have the upper hand on some issues and the fact that the partner is ok with that is a very good sign. I know it's cliche but give and take is really the way to create a solid partnership. Honestly, I occassionally need control in the bedroom, the checkbook and even in the garage-- and when I know he needs control I am happy to give it up. Arguing results when the inequities pile up-don't let that happen too often. Commitment is negotiation and the maturity to know you can't have all the love or all the attention but can have what you need when you need it. Good luck, quality romance is possible with the right person.

Answer 3

It IS possible to achieve quality in a romantic relationship -- when both parties are mature and not playing games.

In many mature relationships no "chasing" is involved. Instead there is a mutual attraction going on, like two magnets being drawn together.

Even when one member has pursued the other, the "victim" was often not only willing, but had been baiting the chaser all along! ;-)

(This in no way infers that victims of stalkers are asking for it.)

Answer 4

There is a third type where the chaser eventually catches the chasee and they both grow in feelings for each other and create a great relaitonship. There is such a thing, and it usually occurs when people let things go with the flow instead of forcing things to happen.

Answer 5

If you ever stopped concentrating so much on a power struggle and found yourself a girl who really wants to share a relationship with you, you would of known that your statement is way off base. I have been married for over 17 years now, and no one is chasing anyone in my marriage. We both want to be in it. And we work hard on making each other happy to be with each other.

Answer 6

Well, my husband and I are satisfied and there's no power struggle going on in our house. He does what he can, I do what I can and we just try to be as good as we can to each other. It's called a partnership. What you're describing is game-playing.

Wresting for "control" is a sign that you're in the wrong relationship, I'm afraid.

Answer 7

Your gross oversimplification and erroneous (no, not erogenous, erroneous) assumptions tend to suggest you don't have a lot of experience with this sort of thing.

Did you ever see the movie '40 Year Old Virgin' where Steve Carell says that breasts feel like sand?

Don't know what made me think of that...

Answer 8

Nothing is impossible!