How can you tell if your husband is having an affair?

Answer 1

He's breathing

Answer 2

Here are some of the most common signs of an affair and conditions under which your spouse may be cheating:


The first sign of an affair may be increased social contact with the opposite sex, especially in the work place. When a man or woman begin to spend more time together with a friend, co-worker, or teammate, they tend to develop a platonic friendship that can become much, much more. If this is the case you need to have an open and honest talk about the relationship and its boundaries, especially with a spouse that becomes defensive.
The second sign of an affair may be when a partner may not be meeting another partners social or emotional needs. This by far may be the single greatest cause of an affair, especially if a marriage is already struggling. An affair is most often likely to occur when both partners are under stress. This situation can be avoided through open and honest communication. A spouse should be able to identify stressful times in his or her partner and meet their emotional needs.
The third sign of an affair may be when a spouse has a computer job or their job takes them away for long periods of time. Cheating then becomes very easy even if your partner calls you every night, you still do not know what they are doing when you are not talking to them. If this is the case you should develop a plan of action to maintain your marital bond as well as your intimacy with each other. The best solution however may be to minimize your time away from each other, which may mean relocating or changing a job situation.
The fourth sign of an affair may be when your lives are overly scheduled and you have very little leisure time together, this tends to suffocate any relationship. A marriage will thrive if you spend leisure time together just enjoying each others' company.
The fifth sign of an affair may simply be from the increased public acceptance of affairs. The social and moral condemnation of infidelity continues. The consequences of an affair are not as great as they were in the past and as long as society continues to have this moral view---affairs will continue.The sixth sign of an affair may be the increase and importance our culture places on us for having a great physique and sex life. When a spouse does not live up to these expectations they may go elsewhere to have their needs met. You can decrease this temptation by making an effort to be physically intimate with your spouse on a regular basis and try keeping up your personal appearance, try not to let yourself go just because you are married.

Answer 3

Well there's no simple answer to this question. The big signs are unexplained absence. Working late when he never worked late before. Some withdrawl from you. Usually when a guy has come home after being with his mistress.....he does feel a sense of guilt and will immediately over-compensate with unusal affection.

If you really think there might be a problem. Take a long vacation (5 days) If something is wrong, you're going to find out if you have to spend 5 days together.

Answer 4

I think most women just know. It may be a gradual dawning of awareness, or it may be a total shocker. most women say their husbands became "distant". Doing everything right, being the good father, the good husband; but not "there". It's a hunch, and you are usually right. A friend of mine found out when her husband's boss rang her to looking for him and he was meant to be at work! Suddenly, all the late nights at work made sense..
I started to suspect when I was 7 months pregnant with my last child...I found a pair of joke slippers hidden under the bed; I asked him who owned them...he said that an "old lady customer" had given them to him as a gift...except they were rude joke slippers...and he became shifty and evasive when I pressed him. That was my first inkling. Then there were lots of late nights at work,times when he arrived home in the early hours too clean to have worked all day in a hot kitchen..and that distance...yes, he'd been having an affair. I challenged him and he denied and denied, but I just KNEW..The poor girl was besotted with him; and she knew nothing about me. She believed him to be single. When he finally left after my son was born..I found love letters from her hidden among the clothes I had left behind.

you just KNOW.

Answer 5

He starts acting differently. He becomes more distant and secretive. He comes home late from work with no reason. Plans trips with out you. Goes on a diet or starts a new exercise program. Minimizes the computer screen when you walk in the room. Spends a lot more time on the computer. Doesn't want you to see his phone bill. He secretly or not opens a new bank account in his name only. Receives phone calls from female co workers at home. He becomes really jealous of you. Accuses you of messing around. He gets a female friend and starts going to lunch with her or doing things with her, with you not included. Says she is just a friend. Tells you to mind your own business. Asks you if you are his mother.

Answer 6

Are other spects of your relationship strained or possibly both of you have grown apart? When women loose interest in sex and decide her man is to do without, this tends to push men to seek gratifcation somehow or where else.
Some men are just scummy and cheat because they have shallow ego's. Others do so because they have sexual desire and their partner is not interested (this scenario is sad).
If your husband was a player when you met him and he is the kinda guy that uses women, then check his cell phone, ask for details of what he did when he comes home late, then ask about it again in a different way on another day, if the stories do not match then ask him directly if he is cheating.
If you have lost interest in sex, then ask if your lack of needs should mean you have the power over his needs. Maybe you need to figure out a mutually satisfying solution- in this scenario the man loves his wife who will not love him back.

Answer 7

Coming home late with silly excuses. You have a gut instinct If you think your Husband is having an affair then TALK TO HIM NOW!!!!

Answer 8

You must be picking up on something because you are asking the question. Hard evidence would be text messages, phone messages, letters, e-mails. But you are probably picking up on more subtle cues, such as him being secretive, annoyed at you for asking questions, a change in his schedule, going to the store a lot, not inviting you along with him when he leaves the house, etc.

I'm sorry that you are having to deal with this. It's not fun. I would just ask him straight out when the two of you are alone and when there aren't other distractions. Good luck...

Answer 9

Lets cell phone go to voice mail, when you ask a question that he would answer normally, he over reacts, he may shave more, smell different, not eat, over sleep all these things could mean hes having an affair, good luck.

Answer 10

is funny but i thought the same thing just last week about my husband he seemed very distant, and not being very affectionate in any way, i checked his phoned and bills etc. he works nights so without phoning work to see if he was there, i didn't want to temp fate. so i decided to write him a letter telling him how i felt i even wrote that i thought he might leave me. after he read it he told me he was very depressed about his job, don't always think the worse, it could be v innocent! hope it works out! let me know!

Answer 11

If he's beeing really suspicious, confront him about it. If he denies it, and keeps coming home late or having long meetings at lunch, get a PI to get evidence. Gather up enough evidence that a divorce would be in your favor. Prepare for the worst.

But you need to communicate your suspicion to him, otherwise your marriage is doomed even if he isn't cheating on you.