I've been married for 7 years (10 years into relationship) and it's been hell. My spouse and I have had the strangest relationship, we have been physically seperated off and on for many years and keep trying at it (occasional sex), however I am constantly being accused of cheating when in fact I am not. He purposefully says demeaning and hurtful things everytime we do see each other. I find myself wanting out desperately. Quite frankly, I'm tired of this so-called realtionship and don't have any convenient answers. I need help, any suggestions?
2007-11-07 02:02:04 · 33 answers · asked by mommiemaide 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Have you considered ending the marriage?
2007-11-07 02:04:48 · answer #1 · answered by leaptad 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like a marriage of connivance now.
You know what to expect no matter how bad it might be, so you stay in the marriage.
The fact that you are splitting up and going back together is not a good sign at all.
Usually when I person says bad things to hurt someone else that means that "they" are doing something wrong and are trying to make it right in their own head.
If you've never cheated...don't....all that would do is lower your self esteem.
Keep in mind there is always a "nice" person out there that you could have a great life with, and after you move on you will see all the time you waisted in a bad relationship and all the good times you could have had.
2007-11-07 02:16:55 · answer #2 · answered by Char B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We only have one life on this planet. Why would anyone want to live theirs in an abusive relationship? That's what you are doing, you know. You need to put an end to this. After trying for 10 years, 7 of which were married, and it's still not working, it's time to move on. I really don't see any convenient resolution here. You both should just agree to end the relationship. Once that decision has been reached, NO MORE CASUAL SEX WITH HIM EITHER!. All that does is lead to false hope.
2007-11-07 02:12:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most of the time when a spouse is separating physically, is demeaning, accuses the other spouse of cheating they are usually the one doing something wrong...like cheating. It's guilt. No one needs to be in a relationship like that. It only hurts you in the end.
2007-11-07 02:08:51 · answer #4 · answered by soadcrazy23 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sit down and think about why you two got married was it just sex or really love. Also did GOD bring you together because if a relationship is not what god formed then it will never work no matter how much you try. Ask yourself if you really love him and do you believe it will work if both answers are yes then go to GOD and pray and the marriage will work if you both believe.
2007-11-07 02:17:32 · answer #5 · answered by tupacbug 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What reason does he have for accusing you of cheating? Is he being hurtful simply because he thinks you're cheating or is that his general behavior?
I think it's time for a marriage counselor and if he's not agreeable to that or it doesn't help, it's time to end the marriage so you can move on and get the love and respect you deserve.
2007-11-07 02:14:06 · answer #6 · answered by Cat375 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Life is too long to be in hell the whole time. Get the F out of this crappy relationship. Why do you stick around? Quit pursuing losers and find someone who'll treat you good. It's not like you're running out of time for christ sake.
2007-11-07 02:16:08 · answer #7 · answered by lovinglifeina69 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've already wasted 7 years of your life, how many more are you willing to waste?
The hardest part will be disposing of the baggage - the things that have happened that have made you defensive, bitter, etc. so you can get on with a healthy life and relationship with someone who will love you.
2007-11-07 02:50:03 · answer #8 · answered by Zaferus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't stay with someone who is putting you down all the time and trying to make you feel bad about yourself. Verbal abuse is more painful than physical abuse, if you ask me. The effects last much longer. And if you have kids together, it hurts them to watch that as well. (trust me on that, I grew up in that type of home)
Time to file for divorce. You gave it a good try, an honest effort. Sorry it didn't work out better for you.
2007-11-07 02:07:40 · answer #9 · answered by Eraserhead 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you don't think you can make it work, then why stay in the marriage? Divorce will suck but when its over, your life will probably be a lot better. You'll get the opportunity to meet someone who WILL treat you right and that you WILL be happy with.
just go with your heart and do what you think will make you happy.
2007-11-07 02:06:53 · answer #10 · answered by misslilbitti_ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would agree with everyone else here and say that you should get a divorce, but its pretty clear that you are needy and need this crappy drama in your life. You are afraid to stand on your own and be a whole person, seperate from someone else. Be a man woman!!
2007-11-07 02:10:38 · answer #11 · answered by Jason M 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋