misunderstood?

Question

who likes my poem?

life is like a web
your stuck
you can't get out
is it really worth it?
living to be disapointed?
have you ever seen someone so emotional
that she's too late to save?
she just lingers
walking around
crying
she doesn't know that there ate better things then that
she doesn't understand.

Answer 1

First of all, I like poetry. I write poetry. I study poetry. And I don't enjoy hurting people's feelings. I am not spending time here to hurt you. If you're going to write poetry, you need to study poetry, read poems that are widely and critically regarded as "good" poetry.

If I were a teacher, grading your poem, I'd have to give you a 'D'. You didn't get an 'F' because of your effort and because there are two separate thoughts expressed in the 12 lines you wrote. If I were a publisher, I wouldn't even give it second glance, even if the name on it were "Browning"

First, your grammar:
.....Line 2 'your' should be "you're"
.....Line 11 "ate" should be "are"
.....Line 11 "then" should be "than"
.....Line 7 "that she's too late to save" sounds like an imcomplete sentence. What you apparently meant was that the "she" was so emotional that it was "too late to save her"
which would have fit just as well since you're not using any particular foot or meter and you don't have any rhyme scheme that would be messed up (I am not saying that it should rhyme. Blank verse and free verse are free of that restriction)
Next, your punctuation. Use it or don't use it, but don't use it half the time: You've got three question marks and a period. There are possibilities for five other periods, some commas or semicolons, depending upon how you want to arrange your thoughts, pauses, and pacing.
Now, your thoughts: You ask a couple questions with the first five lines, but don't answer them, then spend the next seven lines talking about someone who doesn't understand that life isn't all bad. You need to connect the two somehow, making the last seven lines the answer to the first five's questions.

That's all the technical stuff I'll toss out.

Now the poem itself. You make the statements about life being a real mess full of disappointment, then you question the knowledge of a girl who doesn't understand that there are better things in life than being an emotional wreck. The second half of the poem states the opposite of the first half.

Poetry is not just a paragraph on a subject that has been broken into short lines. It, like prose, tells a story, generates an image, conveys a thought, flows like music, tugs at the heart, enlightens the mind, brings humor, irony, and honesty to a conversation.
To me, your poem says that you've got something to say. Perhaps you should say it in a paragraph of prose first, make sure that it says what you want it to say, then try to convert it into a poem.
But DO NOT let my criticisms of your work keep you from trying to write more. The best poetry is not written by the beginner, but by the practiced. The more you do (along with reading others and studying the works of others) the better you will become. Talk to your English teachers and others who are "well versed" in poetry. Don't QUIT!!!

You are brave to have placed your poem out in public where anyone could read it. That bravery deserves the truth, not flattery. I could have said "that's great", but the next one you write would be just the same and again I'd have to say "that's great". After a while I'd get tired of telling you your work was fantastic, because it's not. It needs a lot of work. You asked, I answered.

Good Luck!

Answer 2

Lindsey Lohan - Hooch Paris - Hooch Nicole ritchie- Misunderstood The Olson twins- Misunderstood Tara Reid- Hooch Craddle rober ,, i advise Mariah Carey- Misundertood Hilary Rodham -Clinton - Misunderstood Contestants on style of love - Hooches Angelina Jolie Husband stealing- hooch Heidi Montag interest searching for- hooch Kim Kardashian - Misunderstood

Answer 3

I like it all until the last line which doesn't seem to fit that well. I think I would change that one line, perhaps to:
She is not the spider who formed this web around herself
she is the fly caught up in it.

Answer 4

what she doesnt understand is that shes just looking straight into a black pit of sorrow , that blocks all the light around her,
if SHE cant see it , then feel it , smell it , be a part of it , then the black pit will get smaller everyday.
Good poem to reflect !!!

Answer 5

Are you the one feeling this way ? you said she didn't know that there ate better things you mean are better things...

Answer 6

i love it it really is a good poem its beautiful to me i noe alot of people that would agree with me

Answer 7

Hmmm a little to depressing for my taste.