when will i stop hurting? my husband decided to leave our marriage 9 months after our son was born.sais i should of seen it coming..it has been so tough for me.still to this day i cant believe he did this.its been a 1 1/2 years...tells me all the time just get over it. he was so mean and heartless through out all of this.why are men so selfish.
2007-11-07 01:05:44 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i cant even begin to tell you all the stuff that i put up with through out all the years with this man lying cheating heartache....we are still leagally married ..he has a girlfriend a co worker.has had her since the day he left but denies it still to this day.
2007-11-07 01:08:42 · update #1
by the way i am in counseling have been..just wanted to vent here..sometimes it just helps to hear other people opinions..i do keep myself busy....it just hurts me to know that he is with another woman that has kids and he left me with a baby...
2007-11-07 01:30:50 · update #2
Why are you still legally married after 1 1/2 years? Divorce him, take him to the cleaners, and move on with your life. Stop asking him about what he did in the past. It doesn't make any difference and it just keeps you hanging on to him.
2007-11-07 01:12:31 · answer #1 · answered by Truth is elusive 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am going through what you are going through. I was married 14 years and he is now with his secretary. I have been out for only 4 months. I have my bad days and my good days but I keep trying to move forward and learn to care about myself again. There are men that are very selfish out there and that is how they were raised. Try to ignore him. Once he realizes that you have moved on and what he says cannot hurt you he might stop.
2007-11-07 09:10:57 · answer #2 · answered by Babe 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't judge all men on this ones actions; all men are not selfish. You hurt because you are dwelling on him and what his actions caused; the pain, the death of your marriage, your hopes and dreams with him. You don't 'just get over' something like this; it takes a great deal of time. I suggest you do the things you love in life; what your passions are and realize that you really, deep in your heart, would not wish someone who does not love you enough, to remain in a marriage with you. I'd have as little contact with him as possible; just when he visits your child and such.
2007-11-07 09:13:17 · answer #3 · answered by pussycat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, do youself a favor and get some counseling. You're not dealing with this very well and an uninvolved 3rd party to vent to will do you wonders. Good luck hun. Been there done that and I truly feel for you.
2007-11-07 09:09:22 · answer #4 · answered by Kathy R 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am not sure as to when your hurt will stop. It is different for everyone. For instance, my mom and dad divorced in 1995 and my dad was still crying about it 10 years later. Now I am not telling you this to deter you or say its going to stay this way for you for years to come. I'm telling you for quite the opposite reason in fact: you do not have to be like my dad! YOU DECIDE when to stop dwelling on the past!
Other than that, all I can say in hopes to help you is please find comfort in the fact that his judgement day will come and only HE has to deal with what HE has done. As far as your judgements and everyone elses I think we can all agree that he's an a.s.s. who will have it coming to him in that time of God's judgement unless he seeks forgiveness. Rest easy and please heal faster than my dad! Do it for your baby! I cannot tell you how damn hard it was to see my dad like that for 10 years straight. Completely heartbreaking. Keep that in mind.
2007-11-07 13:42:08 · answer #5 · answered by Alaina's Mumma! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the hurt will stop but first you need to forgive him for being a mean heartless jerk the faster you can forgive the better you will start too feel and then you will be able to move on and find someone who will love you the way you deserve to be loved and if you dont forgive him you will become mean and bitter just like him
2007-11-07 09:18:05 · answer #6 · answered by dawn l 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why give that loser so much influence over you?
The broken dreams you are clinging to are unhealthy for you.
Get a lawyer, wrap things up, and raise your son to be a very different man from his blood father. (Don't teach him to hate his father; that accomplishes nothing.)
And maybe get personal counseling. You owe it to yourself, and to your son, to be a clear-headed, strong-hearted mommy.
2007-11-07 09:14:59 · answer #7 · answered by Chipmaker Authentic 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it will once you let go. if youre meant to be then he will be back. but if a person like him who doesn't respect you for anything then you shouldn't care. take care of the only man in your life for now, your baby... eventually, someone will come who will love you for who you are. as for your husband, what goes around comes back around.
2007-11-07 09:25:41 · answer #8 · answered by fierce charm 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the choice is your!
if you want to have it stop, it will.
face the fact and move on, why bother to look back and be sad about it.. . ..
move on, be strong, no point trying to turn back the clock.
the clock just keep clicking away....
2007-11-07 09:41:58 · answer #9 · answered by lost man 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is a scum bag. but there is always two sides of a coin!
I say with time.
Begin to find things you like to do.
Hobbies. working out, writing helps!
2007-11-07 09:12:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋