The long and short of it are: damn, this is gonna take some typing...
The jist of it is that I have been kicked to the curb by my wife, she says it is because I yelled too much, we have split up before, but I never heard her say that she was done with me.. till now. We have done everything but get councilor intervention, something I was never open to, but now am. I have a lot of other problems that I am trying to work on, its all more than I can work with... I miss her kids, I helped raise them, they call me daddy.. I call on the phone to talk to them, end up in tears every time when the little girls ask me to come home.. I can't come home because she doesn't want me anymore.
The sad part is that being set off like this, with the door shut, I am CERTAIN that I can get most of my issues under control, and am willing to get help with the ones that are too much for me, like the loss of the three children that I fathered with her.. I am sick over it. I know its a long shot..any thoughts?
2007-11-07 00:22:23 · 15 answers · asked by edwardblunt2000 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It is human nature to make mistakes...as it is to forgive and give another chance. You should consider yourself lucky to have had the chance three other time with your wife. She must be very understanding. However, it seems you have pushed her to finally find out that perhaps four times is simply one too many. Those children have see you come and go three other times and I am sure your wife is concerned for their emotional well being and development.
The only way you can prove to her you deserve another chance is to stay clean. Time is the best thing for you right now. Spend time away from all of them and focus on yourself. Obviously you want to be a better person, but you need to really make the effort... months or possibly years worth of effort. Go to the counseling. You can't do this alone and the counselor will be invaluable when it comes to management of any issue you have trouble with. Maybe if your wife can see you really are different this time and are truly making a concerted effort, then you might get that fourth chance... but don't force it or pressure her... this needs to be her decision. I wish you the best in your efforts!
2007-11-07 01:01:33 · answer #1 · answered by Kim 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's such a hard place you're in. don't give up hope. make the changes you need to make and let her know that you are. if talking to her won't work, write her a letter explaining how you feel, what your plan is to get better and what steps you're already taking. she's probably been so hurt by you, it's gonna be hard for her to trust you. if she stays firm and decides she really doesn't want to be with you, you have to respect that also, but let her know you'd still like to be a part of the children's lives if she'll allow it. but the very first thing you have to do is start working on yourself and then all the other pieces will fall into place.
i wish you love and peace.
2007-11-07 00:32:07 · answer #2 · answered by buk84 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to do it for yourself. You say you are only open to counseling now that you are sent to the curb. You need to do it for yourself, not because it is the last resort to save a relationship. Four times is more than enough chances and you didnt do anything about it.
You need to move on and work on getting yourself healthy again so this won't happen again. Good luck.
2007-11-07 00:56:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is never to late to get counseling, and you should do this for yourself. Drugs are a horrible thing to get addicted to and sometimes people do not see their behavior until they have been off of these drugs for years. Accepting responsibility for your actions is a start. Your wife has probably had enough of you saying you will change and never doing so. You need to show her. Becoming a better person will help your children...
2007-11-07 00:51:01 · answer #4 · answered by je 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get counseling on your own - do the things you know you need to do in order to get your act together. You blew it before - don't expect her to take you back now on the promise that if she does then you will get it together. Once you've done what you need to do, then - if she hasn't found another guy who is wonderful to her and the kids - ask her to give you another chance. If she has moved on at that point, then you find another someone too - and maybe it'll have a better outcome than this relationship has.
2007-11-07 00:28:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
At this point it's now developed into something other than just a situation with your wife and her kids. It's now your issues that need to be addressed..........and ONLY your issues.
You'll need to get clean and sober first, and it's going to take time for her to see that you've made the changes she's looking for. Concentrate on your stuff solely.......get clean, and all things will fall into place as they are meant to be.
2007-11-07 00:28:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Been through the same thing myself man. All I can say is we can only take so much of our partners telling us they're gonna change and then they don't. Get yourself straight hun. It may be too late for your marriage, but it's never too late for you. Do it for yourself and nobody else. You'll be a much better and happier person for it. Good luck hun. I hope things look up for you soon.
2007-11-07 00:38:15 · answer #7 · answered by Kathy R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"I can only imagine what the minister and his wife thought of her behavior. After the way she acted, I bet they never have us over for Easter dinner again." You were doing this during a dinner? If so you are a disgusting pig that needs some major help.
2016-04-02 22:12:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
nope... in my opinion, she should not take you back until you have been drug free for at least 6 months! as for the yelling, if the drugs caused that, sure, in 6 months after being drug free... but, if the yelling was not due to the drugs, you should see a therapist... and basically vow to go outside if you are upset about something until you calm down! good luck...
2007-11-07 00:33:16 · answer #9 · answered by elvlayarvvi fEisty wife and mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think, honestly that you have your priorities straight, otherwise you would have taken her seriously the first time. Give her the time and space she wants, and get yourself the f*** together if you EVER want to have another chance, but do NOT expect it now, you have not proven to her one thing excepot that you don't think they aqre important enough to change for. Prove that to them firwt, then see how things go.
2007-11-07 04:36:40 · answer #10 · answered by Unicornrider 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋