family problems - please, please help? =(?

Question

ok my parents have been quarrelling years. my father even physically abuses my mother. bascially he's a dictatorial bastard. while my mum had her faults being stubborn and all. I am an only child, soon to be 19. whilst i'm pretty strong, I can't cope with stuff sometimes, all alone. It does get to me, especially when I'm having to study.

anyway they are renovating the house soon. and my dad insists my mum has too much rubbish and he wants to throw them away. thing is, he wants to "get" people to help throw all her things out. and my mum is really really angry. i get her point, it's just so rude and mean to take someone's stuff to throw out!!

anyway, i need your help!! is there anyway i can help my mum pack all her stuff and keep it somewhere else during the renovations? should i keep it in a box (there's alot of stuff!) and where should i put it?

desperate, any suggestions accepted. thanks so much =)

Answer 1

If you would like to help her in this way, yes. Help her box up her things and see if a friend can store it at their place until the renovations are done. Think about it though, if you do this, what is your father going to do when she brings it back, after the renovations? Since he told her to throw it out, is her bringing it back going to cause a physical altercation?

I think though, the best way you can help your mom is to help her pack up her things, all of them, and get her away from the marriage entirely. Take her to a shelter, the two of you get your own place, something, anything to get her away from the physical violence. Neither of you have to live this way. Once she is away, she WILL need help. She will want so badly to go back, but she can't. Help her to get psychological help, you too. Studies have found that persons living in and around abusive relationships have displayed the same symptoms as a person living with an alcoholic. It is called Co-dependency. This is for BOTH of you. It is just as hard seeing it as you had to.

Please, get some help. Most countries in the world have places you can go to get help, no matter how old or young you are, and no matter your financial situation. Abuse is wrong. Getting out is one of the hardest things you or she will ever do, but once you get away and start living for yourself, it is worth every second of it.

Answer 2

You could always rent a storage space and it can even be in your name. If your mom wants to keep her things than she should have the right to do so but I feel it will cause a fight in the house. You could help her pack it up that would be a big help to her. You should also talk to her about getting some help with the abuse and stuff. She shouldn't have to deal with that kind of stuff. You hang in there and be strong if only for yourself cause you sound like a smart girl with a bright future.

Answer 3

Maybe you and your Mum can pack up her things and put it in some sort of storage.(like a rental storage room - if you don't have anywhere else to keep it. I'm sorry your Dad is abusive and just bloody mean to your Mum. It's hard to be in the middle of such a situation. Wondering Why your Mum puts up with him at all?! Good Luck!!

Answer 4

What kind of stuff or rubbish is it? I know people that keep sales receipts, old read books , papers with long forgotten grocery lists and lists of songs they like, among a myrade of other "collectibles". And they are in boxes, hand bags, on top of anything with a flat surface, and in every drawer.

Why don't you help her sort through her stuff and pack away the things of value and /or sentimentality. If need be enlist the help of a neighbour with a spare room, shed or garage,
While you are at it, you and your mom can sort through your stuff and your dads too.

Answer 5

Surely you should help your mom. But try to rationalize.
Your dad may not be all that wrong.
Out of the whole, some stuff may be discarded, you may judge. convince your mother that way. partly your dad may have his say also.
The important stuff may be packed and stored. If you haven't got place at your own house, try with your friends or relatives.

Answer 6

what a mess. too bad she can't rent an apartment and put all her stuff there and leave the guy behind! that way you and she could have your own place away from him. and if he is that mean put some sort of restraining order on him so he can't bother you without getting arrested...that is what i would want.
of course a storage unit is another good option and you should considerate...

Answer 7

Look into a storage unit, or ask some friends if you could put her stuff there for the time being.

Answer 8

talk to your parents and let them know that it hurt you yo see them arguring like that, and asked your father if this is how your life will end up with your husband in the future. then just go and help your mum sort out her stuff, let her know she has to let some things go. as she buy stuff she has to let somethings go. and the things that are sentimental to her she must put it in storage. and you must pray for your parents, pray for peace and love in your home. blessings to you all.

Answer 9

Tell both parents that what is hapenning is negatively affecting you and you request that they respect you. our mum's things should be stored somewhere in the house, packed nicely. They should not be taken anywhere else.

Answer 10

ask your mum if she has where to put her load pending when your dad will finish the renovation, if yes. fine.

if no, contant some of your relative around, probably one of them may give your mum where she will pack her things pending when your dad will finish renovating your house.