Please advice…
Couple divorce. After one year the woman meet up with another man and they decided to get married. A little in a hurry but it is confirmed and the ex is also notified. He broke down in a state because she told him she will never marry again. She told her future husband she has to go and comfort the ex and that if he does not understand then it will be the end of the relationship. He found out that she was staying over at his place for two days and they slept together in one bed but did not have sex. The future husband ended the relationship. They couldn’t stay away from each other and the next week they were together again. The wedding was put off because of pressure from the ex and the family of the woman.
The woman refuse to let go of the ex’s friendship and the future husband has a problem with that. The future husband have problems with getting hold of the woman at times and is told that she stays over at a friend’s place when she is in stress.
So she is gone sometimes two to five days being at the friend’s place sorting herself out. Her cellphone is off and she cannot be reached. At another instance she sat next to her future man talking with the ex and telling him she loves him and the future man also saw an sms where the ex asks if she still loves him.
The Future man forgives her everything after he founded out that they did sleep together at his place. Also that the friend’s place where she went to to sort herself out was that of the ex. He bought her clothes and and all needed if she ever need to make use of the “facility” and gave her the keys and a remote to the place.
Now the future man wants to sort out these things and continue with the relationship, trying to put everything behind him, but has a condition. He agrees under pressure from the woman that the ex and she may continue the friendship and that he may come and visit where she stays but has a problem with her going to his place. She does not understand that and ask him why he does not trust her. She still has the keys and remote but tells the future man she will not go there. He ask her what if she is invited there..what is she gonna say and how is she going to handle that? She tells him that she WILL go there if she has problems with the future man. She refuses to tell the ex that she still has a relationship with the future man as she does not want to hurt his feelings and that he was so “good” for her and the kids while they were married and he left her with everything and she is owning him her friendship. He is a wonderful man and will not force a relationship on her and she tells the future husband that he is the only man in her life and that she loves him very much.The Ex knows enough about “them” and need not know anything more that will hurt his feelings. The ex still buys her food sometimes and gives her money.
The future man said that he is willing to except everything but will not tolerate her going out with the ex and visiting his place again. She says the future man is unreasonable and she has been asked some times ago to go with the Ex on two occasions in near future to help him buy some goods for his home. She tells the future man that YES she is going to do that and WILL go to his place and maybe stay over for a braai/barbeque the evening.
The future man does not except and wants to end the realtionship because he has been so understanding and feel that the Ex need to do a little understanding himself?
The questions?
Who is right or wrong here or unreasonable.
Any advice for both parties.
What would you have done if you were the future man
Can the future man sue for losses here
2007-11-06 22:18:52 · 19 answers · asked by Dirk S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The girl is unreasonable but the guy is wrong to let her carry on as she is. If i am the future man, I would put my foot down and ask her to choose. Tell her straight to her face she is straddling the two relationship and to choose one. Though it seems one sided but the future guy seems to compromise beyond anything if the girl can't see that she is either not as in love as the future guy or an idiot. Either way ..no really a loss. Also, had a talk with the guy, if he is as "understanding" as she say, he would know to step back.
Nope what losses had the future guy incurred to sue for loss?
there is to be a quote in chinese
沒有男人值的你流淚 ，而值的那位也不會誏你流淚
No men(women) is worth your tears(heartbreak) and the one who does, won't let you shed tears (heartbreak)
2007-11-06 22:41:33 · answer #1 · answered by jeana s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The future man needs to cut his losses, fall down on his knees and thank God that he didn't make the mistake of marrying this train wreck.
This woman does not love future man - that much is obvious. Future man should not waste one more minute on this woman who is showing him who she truly loves with her actions.
If future man doesn't forget this woman's name, address, phone number and shoe size immediately, he will be battling with the ex for this woman's affections for the rest of his natural life.
2007-11-07 06:36:24 · answer #2 · answered by galvanic_fantasy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The ex future husband needs to drop her like a hot rock and get on with his life!
2007-11-07 07:37:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's very unreasonable to drag two men around and play with both their emotions. BOTH men need to drop said women. WOMEN needs to grow up act like a mature person. You don't go sleeping with and visiting an ex while preparing for a new marriage. She needs to be single for a long time till she gets what a marriage and commitment ARE, needless drama this is how people get hurt.
2007-11-07 06:24:00 · answer #4 · answered by ally'smom 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is using BOTH MEN !!! Future man needs to Drop her like a Bad Habit !!!!! She is Not over her Ex, and she is giving you a load of BS about continuing her friendship w/ ex, staying with ex, etc. He is suppose to BE her EX !!!! Sounds like she is still WITH HIM !!!
Nothing to sue her for except being a foolish man !!! You deserve someone who will have all of herself to give to you !!
Good Luck !!!
2007-11-07 06:49:21 · answer #5 · answered by casper 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
she is wrong and unreasonable... the wedding vow will be to forsake all others...all! he needs to dump this lady, she has a high on 2 men wanting to be with her, and that's the truth, she only cares about herself... dump her! can the future man sue? I don't know, I'd rather forget about this woman if I was the future man...
2007-11-07 07:08:15 · answer #6 · answered by elvlayarvvi fEisty wife and mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The woman is being so far fetched that its ridicules... Get her out of your life she is a wacko and will never leave her x never ever... Move on future man you have to much to lose... Good luck and I wish you love... Grant M in Pennsylvania
2007-11-07 06:37:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are so many things in life worth living for and this is/was not one of them!
I think "future man" you are looking for something that you woun't find, yet...
"Ex" id10t!!! As***** no respect for other ppl
"Girl" ... need to get a life and stop waisting others time,money and effort!
2007-11-07 18:51:31 · answer #8 · answered by The Crow 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is such a law in breach of contract of marriage meaning engaged in some states but yes if she slept at her exs and has keys to his house then she may as well go ahead and cheat, cheating can be like meeting a man for lunch and the signifiant not knowing wld be cheating
2007-11-07 06:33:44 · answer #9 · answered by Psychologist In The House 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why the hell would she even inform her ex of what goes on in her personal life? They all need to make a clean break from each other and stop acting like a bunch of damn immature fools.
2007-11-07 07:44:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋