to "talk" all of the time when he couldn't be bothered before. Now I'm wishing he'd just hush up and leave me alone. I have nothing to talk to him about anymore. What should I tell him when he's just trying to be nice and he really has no interest in what's going on in my life.
2007-11-06 22:07:28 · 22 answers · asked by jacquie 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Maybe he didn't know what he lost until he lost it. Why must everything be on your time table. What is wrong with someone improving?
2007-11-06 22:10:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Both of you need to sit down and discuss the issues without making accusations or raising your voices. That's how adults handle problems.
Why don't you suggest that both of you make a list of some of the problems and then take time to work on them and try to resolve them? If there are alot on each list, prioritize them and discuss a couple at a time and set a day each week when you can sit down and talk.
Learn to compromise because a relationship isn't always about you and what you want, it has to do with both of you and you both should be more concerned with making the other person happy instead of always wanting everything your way.
If you talk and things just aren't looking good, you might need time apart for a couple of days to think about things but once you have invested time in a relationship, you both need to act like adults and try to solve the problems. And don't let them slide by thinking they will change. Handle them when they come up and then put them behind you and move on.
Buy the book "His Needs, Her Needs" and both of you read and discuss some of the things in the book. You both need to learn how to listen without taking offense all the time and you both need to learn how to communicate in a loving way.
If you don't learn some of these things now, you will have trouble in every relationship you have with others. Take time to grow instead of being toxic. Learn to love him again by working to make him happy and when you do need to talk, don't do it in a way that makes him "turn you off". Set aside a time when you can discuss issues without other activities or things getting in the way of your discussions.
And make a promise to each other that you won't go to bed mad. Learn to say you are sorry, even if you aren't the one who started it ~ you still had a hand in hurt feelings. And never leave the house or part from each other without telling the other person you love them. Let your last words to each other always be words of love so if something happens to the other, the survivor won't have to live with regrets.
Marriage takes work but too many aren't willing to work together and make it successful. How do you think people who have been married for 30 or more years got through the tough times and yet still love each other today? Says alot for their character and loyalty to the other, doesn't it?
You can do it, too, if you really meant what you said when you took your vows.
2007-11-07 06:45:03 · answer #2 · answered by KittyKat 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He wants to talk to so he can feel like hes still in the picture. He cant let go and is probly very uppset that you have gotten on with your life without him, when he couldnt be bothered beofre. ?tell him GET A LIFE
2007-11-07 06:11:27 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Not many details here (thanks for that, actually), but even if you don't appreciate what he's doing, he IS making an effort, and he's trying to change himself for you. Maybe don't completely slam the door in his face unless you are certain it's over.
2007-11-07 09:04:05 · answer #4 · answered by Chipmaker Authentic 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
son of bi*ch
you say that now but your going to miss him and part of you is goind to wish you had the talk......karma scuks be carefull or next you might have a guy that doesnt even wanna tlak to you
2007-11-07 06:11:42 · answer #5 · answered by Ispeakfreely 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him what he's doing and have a chat about how you fix this problem, that or maybe get a divorce.
2007-11-07 06:12:25 · answer #6 · answered by Bob 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say to him'', It is amazing how you took no interest in me when we were together and now you have allot to say. When i needed you as my man, you couldn't be a man, now you want to pretend to be nice. Please just go away and let me alone. I won't call you and please don't call me.
2007-11-07 06:49:12 · answer #7 · answered by Go GO Ressa 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ignore him, if he is talking on the phone, well you are encouraging by replying with answers or statements, hang up, if in person, walk away, by staying and listening you are encouraging him, if bt messenger/emails, ignore them if you read them, you are encouraging him, and while you are encouraging him, he will continue and will not get the hint, you are not interested
2007-11-07 06:17:35 · answer #8 · answered by please ask m 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
how long have you been married ?
maybe you should try a pairing therapist. if that doesn't help, you'll need to split up, I'm afraid.
2007-11-07 06:12:31 · answer #9 · answered by Nova 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well do you wanna talk to him? And a SOB is a Son of a B**ch
2007-11-07 06:11:32 · answer #10 · answered by russian_gtr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋