2007-11-06 19:36:52 · 12 answers · asked by ♥bigmamma♥ 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I talked to a Divorce lawyer, who said...generally no.
Usually if you are going to marriage counselling, your marriage has already failed. However, it can be helpful.
In marriages the main this to argue about are usually money and sex. But they are just the symptoms, the root cause is bad communication.
If you and your partner can go in to counselling, and both have a geniune desire to understand the other person's problem (as oppossed to trying to make the other person understand you) then it will work.
Cousellors do lots of things, but generally it involves helping each other communicate to solve problems.
But without counselling you can still do certain things. For example, make a list of 10 things you would like to do with your partner, and get your partner to do the same. Then you choose one thing and he also chooses one thing. Then you go and do them, feel good, smile and be happy together.
2007-11-06 19:44:09 · answer #1 · answered by flingebunt 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The fact that he went and looked it up is a good sign. It shows he's at least somewhat open to finding out information. He sees the problem, most likely, as a mental deficiency on his part rather than something common that a lot of people have trouble with. Wait until your next counseling session and bring up the problems again, and his denial of the problem. Unfortunately you can't force him to accept it or get treatment he may need. That has to come from him. By all means, keep going to the counseling with him. You may also look into some counseling on your own, and suggest that he do the same so he can come to terms with his problems.
2016-03-14 01:17:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I went several different times... he promising he would go but had an excuse every time.. it was his turn..
as a rule they counsel u and him separately until they feel u both are ready to come together.. .. could take days weeks or months.
he didn't go but I did..
and I got a education in borderline behaviors, to sociopaths.. really good .. and it was very hard to face life for what I was dealing with .. I went into depression..
knowing what the TRUE facts were.. it was not at all as I saw it.. or wanted it to be..
I was being CONNED.. AND it hurt so much..
Yes, it helped I went for over a year.. like u I couldn't... just let go.. it was very expensive.. but we had insurance that paid for it.. and now that it is all behind me.. I wouldn't take anything for the true education..
I now ~~~ no the signs and can dissect a persons attitude and personality. before I ever get serious about them.. They will teach how to spot 'red flags"....from a person..
contact Ur county and see if they have counseling at Ur local MHMR association.. or county services on a sling scale.. again Good luck, and God bless..
2007-11-07 05:38:36 · answer #3 · answered by ♥ Blondie ♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Really it only helps if you both sincerely want help...If the trust is gone in the relationship or the love in one of the partners is gone then is pretty much frivalous to go to marriage counseling. I am a soldier in Iraq for the second time and when I came here the first time I was married to the "girl of my dreams" and when I got back we went through marriage counseling cause she was unhappy and did not understand why I had to be gone all the time...Well I left to bosnia for a year and when I returned she was gone with everything I owend (literally), and took my kids with her...Its been three years now and I havnt seen or heard from her or my kids since...So if you are asking me personally if marriage counselling works then I say hell no if he/she does not want it to work in the first place...
2007-11-06 20:22:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
marriage counselling - either 2 persons together or seated in separate room. a counsellor will hear each of your problem and try to piece them up together. u'll get a review when the counsellor completes that. 'Only if u believe that counselling can help u and it'll work. Otherwise, it wont.'
2007-11-06 19:41:17 · answer #5 · answered by Powergirl 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My wife & I have been married for 30 yrs. We started see a counselor 10 yrs ago after a fight. A good counselor will teach you how to round off those sharp peaks & valleys in a marriage. They are trained to understand things in relationships that we can't see & know how address key problems. You shouldn't wait till your on life support to see one. It's important to be honest. They're on your side (& their not all like Dr Phil). Ours sees us individually & we talk about all kinda things, marriage, life, desires. & if your spouse doesn't want to go, you should go yourself. It'll do you good. Also, you should be comfortable with them. If you don't like him/her, find one you like.
2007-11-07 04:07:02 · answer #6 · answered by Orestes 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It helps. There is hardly a big secret about it. 90% of the time, the counselor acts as minor referee. You voice your opinion (without getting interupted) and he does the same. Many times each couple discovers how important something is to the other by saying it out loud to a 3rd person
2007-11-06 19:41:29 · answer #7 · answered by Paul W 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you get the right counselor, then it helps. Be prepared to look at yourself and the issues you bring to the table and not just the ones your partner has. If your honest and open, then it stands a good chance of working.
2007-11-06 19:41:33 · answer #8 · answered by david d 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No I didn't, because I didn't WANT to remain married.
2007-11-06 20:18:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes/you just talk things out;its not going to hurt it helped me but think its time for me to go back
2007-11-07 03:03:58 · answer #10 · answered by john 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋