Before being Parent do you ask yourself if you are qualified for this role, or...?

Question

..Or you believe that parenting is physical in Human nature, kind of instinctive and one learns with time (and on children...)?

Answer 1

I did and that is one of the reasons I didn't become a parent till I was over 30. By then I was truly adult.

Some aspects of parenting may have their basis in instinct - but for me it was a learned experience. I had studied the failings in others parenting methods and started from there.

Also read some books but ... I feel the most important things are to be compassionate and not to judge your kids - allow them to grow - always be clear that discipline is about behaviour and not the child. EG Johnny that was a naughty thing to do - NOT Johnny you're a naughty child!!!!

Good luck

Answer 2

I have Bi-Polar disorder and 27 years ago when my husband and I were thinking about having children (and I love children) - we decided it was not the best thing for us because my Bi-Polar was so out of control - even on medication. Fortunately for me, medication for this disease has come a long way over the years.

And as it turns out, I had to have a full hysterectomy at age 32 and the doctor told me then that I would have never been able to conceive anyway.

So some things are just meant to be. But, yes - we gave it a great deal of thought about becoming parents or not. I have a wonderful niece and she is like my own - so I guess I have my cake and can eat it too.

Answer 3

You've made an assumption that parenting is a decision for most people. I've heard only 1/3 of children are planned.

When you become a parent, you step up the plate. Some people get 9 months to adjust to this idea. Others get only minutes. Either way, nobody is truly prepared to be a parent. It's on the job training.

Answer 4

Yes, I did. Only my children can tell you if I was right about being qualified. :)

I don't think parenting is truly instinctive. I think we learn parenting from the way we were parented. That doesn't mean we just mimic our parents. Sometimes it means we do the opposite of our parents. Sometimes we try to do the opposite, but we end up going back into the roles that they played, because it's what we know.

Answer 5

There is nothing in this world that can prepare you for being a parent...no class, no book, no TV show. It's is a trial and error thing. For MOST parents, the natural instinct takes over and it comes easily.

Answer 6

A good thing to do is go buy the parents handbook. There is a check off list in the chapter "Should You Have Kids?".

By the time people get to "The Teenage Years", the book has convinced some not to have them.

Answer 7

A little bit of both. But mostly I think people should read books and actually spend time around other people's children before having their own, to see if they are really cut out for it, and if it is REALLY what they want.

Answer 8

...my late husband and I adopted after we had been married for 7 yrs so we had lots of time to think and dream of parenthood...
I do think that parenting is both learned and instinctive providing one has solid morals to start with along with patience and genuine concern

Answer 9

I would hope people thought it through first, but sadly many don't. What I think is kind of sad is anybody can have a baby, yet if you want to adopt one, you have to go through a whole screening, back ground check, finiancial background etc.

Answer 10

My son was an accident; my daughter was a surprise. I read baby and parenting books and relied on my years of baby sitting. I feel I'm a great mom. I love my kids, and I'm very proud of them.