Me and my wife are having bad times right now. Over the last 8 years I have never been able to make her happy. She is not happy with anything really. I've talked until im blue in the face, begged her to talk to me, tried to reason with her, tried to get her help, done anything i can to try to be there and show her love and i never see a consistant change. once i blow up and she thinks she might lose me she will do better and then we go right back to the same things. we have no intamcy, when we are together it feels like she looks at it as a chore, we don't kiss anymore, and we fight more often than not. started getting bad head aches and it feels like i have a 25 pound weight on my chest all the time. so the question is, stay or go?
2007-11-06 18:48:09 · 15 answers · asked by bullcity25 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Do what I did. I told my husband that he has till 30 November to sort himself out or it's over.
I mean, he has had nearly 4 years to do so!!! !!!
If she then doesn't shape up, you need to ship out, even if it is temporary.
I have seen though, that to threaten doesn't work. They know you'll never leave so they treat you as they want to!
E-mail if you like! Support helps!
Good luck!!! !!!
2007-11-06 18:56:22 · answer #1 · answered by Ethan-Mikyle's Mommy! 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Stay and get counseling, both of you read marriage books. Court her, kiss her hello and goodbye. Be happy to see her when you come home from work, etc. Call her darling and sweetheart. Make sure she enjoys intimacy - if it isn't pleasurable for her, it will be a chore. Ask lots of questions to learn about her.
The grass is not greener on the other side - work it out.
Joy to you.
2007-11-07 03:06:31 · answer #2 · answered by frillyfroofroo 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think you should go, if she only "cares" when she thinks she is gonna lose you, she has something that is "keeping" her in love with you. if she is not willing to change, or get help, she never will, and it will never get better. if it is starting to cause health problems with you. dont stay, do you really want to have more and more problems, the weight on chest, coudl develope into a heart attack from all the worrying, pain she is putting you through, '
but in the end, it is up to you, are you willing to try and go through all this, dont stay just because you are "obligated" its just gonna end up worse for you.
2007-11-07 02:58:21 · answer #3 · answered by tiffany w 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Wow! That sounds tough.
Its never nice to threaten anyone, but I think if it was me I would put on a very assertive face and say something of the following substance:
"We're either going to marriage counseling or we're going to the courthouse for a divorce. You got 24 hours to decide."
Ultimatums obviously should be a last resort but it sounds like you're in "last resort territory."
Anyway, I hope everything works out for you. God bless you, and good luck!
2007-11-07 02:54:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
GO.......you have to let go, you have to go.....maybe it gaves you an ache a little,, but it's the only way to continue your LIFE......... since RESPECT was still there........ don't stay in any situation that you are no longer happy... give yourself a break... instead of hurting each other thru any form... it's time to go!!!!! good luck!!!!! BE STRONG!!!!!!! LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!! GOD IS WITH YOU!!!!!
2007-11-07 03:01:40 · answer #5 · answered by mge 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
she obviously isn't attracted to you sexually so she would want to do things..don't stay if you guys are unhappy...she wants you to go she just likes the security of having you there. and you have been together 8 yrs your her friend if nothing else and she will miss you but it will be better for the both of you in the long run..you can find someone who will love you like you should be loved. good luck
2007-11-07 03:00:10 · answer #6 · answered by crystal 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
you need to take a temporary vacation from each other. if the split is making your head aches gone, may be you should go.
2007-11-07 03:07:25 · answer #7 · answered by bell 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you have exhausted all efforts in making your marriage work to no avail, then i think you should think about yourself for a change and pick up the pieces of your life and start all over again...you also deserve to be happy...and if your marriage cant give you that, then what's the point of staying???
2007-11-07 02:52:44 · answer #8 · answered by geisha 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I think you already know your answer... I've been there, but only you know in your heart what you must do. Happiness is worth everything!
2007-11-07 02:58:34 · answer #9 · answered by Keebler 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Maybe you can try a temporary split at least, it sounds like you need a little vacation.
2007-11-07 02:51:43 · answer #10 · answered by Daisy Indigo 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋