am i meant to be alone.am i a loser?

Question

im 20, i am majoring in philosophy and ab english, i only have 2 friends one abroad and one here, i dont go out and drink beer, i dont smoke, i read books most of the time i have read 65 books in a year, i seem to have a lot of people to talk to in school and they ask for advice from me but during lunch time i always just eat alone, many guys text me and tell me how intelligent and briliant i am, but all of my friends have boyfriend s while i do not have one for i seem to attract always guys who are not my type or who cannot converse with me, cause they cannot talk to me about a lot of things and i do get bored easily, at school i make people laugh, but i have no one to talk to at the end of the day to tell all my problems, i have been suicidal at times, what is the use of this beauty, intelligence all of this when i dont have real friends, to be with me when i go out to go to the mall, i dont know what am i doing wrong that i became this loner.am i meant to be alone

Answer 1

was nothingness a loser ?.

Answer 2

Sounds a lot like my experience, except for the suicidal part, and the part about having any beauty. :-) I know the loneliest time is when you're surrounded by others, like when you're eating in a busy cafeteria by yourself.

I'm gonna let you in on a little secret, one that every guy knows and hopes that women don't find out. The secret is that at your age, it is incredibly easy to wind a guy around your finger. Trust me, there are probably quite a few guys out there who would like to call you their girlfriend. But sometimes it's up to the woman to make the first move. Some guys will think you're not interested in them if you don't show any interest, so they won't make a move either. And yes, both beauty and intelligence are attractive features. Find yourself a nice guy that you like (preferably for more than just his looks) and ask him if he'd want to study with you for a test if you have a class with him, or if he'd like to go see a movie. If he says no, don't feel crushed, it quite likely isn't you. You can't be afraid of rejection. The pluses definitely outweigh the negatives!

Don't worry, the loneliness you feel now will pass, even though you may not be able to see that. I was terribly shy and never had a steady girlfriend until well into college. Turns out she actually sees something in me; we've been married for 3 years now. :-)

Answer 3

You definitely are what you think. If you think you are alone and a loser, then so you are. But if you think otherwise, then one day you should be meeting terrific friends and genuine ones. There's a saying which goes, 'similar attracts similar'. It may be that the friends whom you are talking about are not on the same wavelength and calibre as you are. Have you ever asked yourself why you have been born in a particular place and got such parents. It's because you are not the same as everyone is. Do you know that the lotus flower is considered as one of the most beautiful flowers. But where does it root from? Do you know? .......Ya..the mud, then it emerges ever beautiful, unstained, perfect!
One thing I'd really like to tell you is that let no one or nothing disturb you morally or emotionally. Be sum total of yourself at any point in time. Better have friends who will be there till you die than having some who will only cheer with you in good times and forget you in bad ones. Continue to make merry, laugh, be good, live life large! And...you know what??? The best friend you're looking for is already inside you! He goes everywhere you go, sees everything you do, and is ready to send signs to help you whenever you need it. Know who that friend is? Yes....God Himself. He'll be there till you breathe your last.

Remember : If you really want friends with whom you wanna be free, look out for people who are elder than you, from whom you will learn good things, from whom you will learn wisdom and with whom you will get to share loads of cool things. Cheer up, gal and smile!

Answer 4

"all of my friends have boyfriend s while i do not have one for i seem to attract always guys who are not my type or who cannot converse with me, cause they cannot talk to me about a lot of things and i do get bored easily, [...] what is the use of this beauty, intelligence all of this when i dont have real friends"

You say, "i seem to attract always guys who are not my type". Does that mean there are guys out there who *are* your type?

From what you say about boyfriends arises the question: Should you compromise? It seems that, till now, you have not been willing to do so. And I don't think you should. Loneliness in company is a lot worse than loneliness in solitude, if you know what I mean.

You say you want *real* friends. You don't have to compromise for real friends, though.

"Meant" to be alone? Meant by whom? Do you think there is meaning in the way things are? Why?

As for being a "loser": Wikipedia says "A loser is a person that is either unpopular, unsuccessful, or unlikable." You are not necessarily unpopular, but maybe you are unpopular as a friend. People who try to be popular cannot be real friends, though.

If you are unsuccessful, unsuccessful at what? What do you want to succeed at? It seems you want to succeed at an intellectual life.

Unlikeable? I'd like to see you have faith in the idea that you will someday find someone you will like who will like you.

Answer 5

No, you're not a loser or anything of the sort.

From what I've seen, intellectuals are few and far between. Even the people that assume the role don't fill it like the stereotype would suggest.

There's no problem in reading books all the time or not having a significant other.

Think of this as your transition time. Find some ways to express yourself (intellectually or not) to fill the time that you're spending alone, be it writing, art or music, creating or observing.

It might help to do some research - on anything you can think of. Joining groups and whatnot, going to chatrooms (if it's easier for you to meet people online) or making your own blog. While some people trash any one of those ideas, it's all dependent on what makes you feel more at ease with yourself. If nothing else, sit in a coffee shop or book shop and just observe people. It'd be great for anything having to do with philosophy; you can get a taste of how people interact with one another.

Don't concentrate too much on how difficult it is for you when you're alone. Truth is, most people who have half a brain (and like to use it) don't have many people to talk to and what a shame it is but, it's the truth.
You have what you have so you can experience things in your own way, whatever it may be.
Put your talent to good use for your own enjoyment. There's no use wasting your time on someone who doesn't appreciate what you can do.
If you're comfortable with the idea, start conversations with people you've never met before, at places you visit every once in awhile. For that, it'd be best to go to places that interest you. Of course, for safety's sake, be where there are a few people around you at all times - if that's something that worries you, that is.

Don't worry about the partying and whatnot - if you don't feel like doing it then don't. You don't have to compromise who you are just to fit in with people that might end up getting you into trouble anyway. That's not to say don't trust anyone, of course. Besides, it tends to hamper a lot of people's ability to think for themselves and not be people who blend in with the crowd just for the sake of blending in.

Suicide won't solve anything. Trust me on this one. Sounds like you have more potential than to waste it. I'll leave it at that.

And, as I love to do, here's a great quote from Carl Jung:
"Sometimes I had an overwhelming urge to speak, not about that, but only to hint that there were some curious things about me which no one knew of. I wanted to find out whether other people had undergone similar experiences. I never succeeded in discovering so much as a trace of them in others. As a result, I had the feeling that I was either outlawed or elect, accursed or blessed."

Hope that helps.

Answer 6

Glad you read and recognize without pride your intelligence and beauty.

Would therefore suggest "Climb the Highest Mountain," Mark Prophet, "A Philosophy of Universality" and "Sexual Force or the Winged Dragon," O. M. Aivanhov, "Men in White Apparel" and "Watch Your Dreams," Ann Ree Colton, "Expecting Adam," Martha Beck, "The Field," Lynne McTaggart, "Extraordinary Knowing," Mayer, Ph.D., "Mindset," Dweck, Ph.D., "Psychoenergetic Science," Tiller, Ph.D., http://www.tiller.org "The Reincarnation of Edgar Cayce?", Free and Wilcock, "Going Beyond the Pairs: The Coincidence of Opposites in German Romanticism, Zen, and Deconstruction," Dennis McCort, Ph.D., "Hidden Camera," Zoran Zivkovic, "The Great Divorce," C. S. Lewis, "The Master of Lucid Dreams," Olga Kharitidi, M.D., "The Path of Virtue," Jonathan Murro, "Babies Remember Birth," Chamberlain, Ph.D., "University of Destruction," David Wheaton, "Life before Life," Tucker, M.D., "When Invisible Children Sing," Huang, M.D., "Mary Baker Eddy: Christian Healer," Yvonne von Fettweis, "Soul Mates and Twin Flames," Elizabeth Clare Prophet, and "The Beautiful Story of a Master," Louise-Marie Frenette.

Briefly, your intelligence may be intimidating to some guys. Don't worry about that. Keep a pure heart and mind, and a positive attitude. Frustration is healed, recognize that guys appreciate respect about 60%, love 40%, while girls appreciate love about 60%, and respect about 40%.

Consider giving 1-800-232-6459 of http://www.family.org a call; it's free, and tell your story. They're professionals who care.

Do care for a goldfish, a plant, a garden. One's love and caring is always appreciated, and do keep your standards and head level/held high.

God bless you.

j.

P.s. If you're "home alone" on a Saturday, would suggest checking http://www.coasttocoastam.com radio (click on "Affiliates" button for local station and time in the evening), as they have a positive host and some interesting guests, as a kind of aural wallpaper.

Answer 7

Your a loser if you think you are..
Your a winner if you think you are too...
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
No one can walk over you if you let them..

"Small people hate loneliness, but the master makes it her home for she knows it allows her to become one with the universe."
God gives us all talents and gifts, I don't care what anyone says, but SOME are meant to have families / relationships and lead that lifestyle.

SOME are made to help those families along, and SOME are made to fight for the ones that can't fight for themselves.

All the schooling and hard work that you do MAKES you who you are, whether or not you use that same MUSE to do the family thing or relationship thing or not.

Either direction you choose IS the direction you need to stay with, unless you do a complete 180 on your lifestyle. But if you do that change...you have to expect what comes with the territory of CHANGE itself.

Friends come and go.. but YOU remain as long as you can fight to move forward... God only gives you as much as you can handle.. If you believe that God exists or not, just believe that you were born in this world alone, and you will die alone... What you will be remembered for is not how many friends that you have, but how many lives you have touched... immortality overcomes what your friends are doing over the weekends!!

Answer 8

Your head tells you you are more alone than you are. If all these people talk to you and ask you advice, then, you are not so alone. Have you ever wondered if people are intimidated by you? Maybe they are afraid to reach out. YOU have to reach out. The thing is, you are the stable one. You are the rock, and people know that. One day the rain will wash you clean and you'll know this. Do not give up. Have you thought of seeing a counselor or someone to talk to on your level? Believe me, people feel alone who are around lot's of other people all the time. Lonelyness is common. Keep studying and going in the direction you are going in and you will reap the rewards in God's time (or whatever you believe) not your time. Hang in their. Express yourself1 Be creative. Do something constructive with all that pint up emotion. Don't give up. People love you. Reach out.

Answer 9

When even the five fingers of our hand are not the same, how can we expect everybody to be the same? Everyone has their own individuality and everybody is here on this earth for a purpose. You yourself have stated a lot of your + points. Why dont you concentrate on them and make the best of your talents than worrying about petty things. What is important to you might not be important for others and vice-versa. Its better to have a very few friends who will stand by you in any situation than having a dozen who leave you at the sight of the slightest trouble.

Answer 10

No. There is a man assigned for you. You just haven't met yet. Maybe you are too smart for them that they get scared to talk to you? Or maybe they are not too smart for you that you get bored talking to them and they sense it so they don't want to hang out with you?

When you're in the classroom, wear your smart student hat. When you're not in school or at lunch break, wear your lunch break hat. Do not discuss things you read in the books. Ask them questions about thing you know they like such as "why did they choose this school" etc. ask them questions that u know they can relate to and at the same time will also keep your interest afloat.

when talking with friends, do not bore them with lenghthy and detailed info. watch tv shows once in a while so u can talk about a particular tv show to some friends.

do not hurt yourself anymore. life is too precious and too exciting to miss. or get into this yahoo answers. it gets addicting at times. :D

Answer 11

You are not a loser! You can't help that you can't find anything in common with other people. I feel the same way too, most people my age want to get drunk all the time, i like the odd drink but i don't drink to excess. I've always had trouble fitting in with people and i have social phobia.