What would be the best remedy for separation and moving on? We have signed a year lease and we are only in the second month. Niether of us can afford to take on the bills alone if one of us moved out. But we are not getting along and he is being disrespectful and somewhat violent - breaking our photo frames and punching marks into the walls. This isn't how I pictured it and I don't know if I can stay.
2007-11-06 16:50:10 · 22 answers · asked by Kellie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am in no way innocent here...we both have faults. But the main issue is separation and if it is possible. We can't afford to break the lease.
2007-11-06 16:51:12 · update #1
Thank you guys...appreciate the responses. (Except for sarcastic idiots)
2007-11-06 16:59:56 · update #2
Violence is a deal breaker in any relationship please do what it takes to be safe while working through this!
Can one of take on a roommate to pay half the rent?
Ask your friends, put an ad in the paper, talk to the management. Sometimes they will work with you, try it!
2007-11-06 16:56:18 · answer #1 · answered by ~Just 1 good egg~ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Did you both sign the lease ? assuming you did your both responsable for your half for the entire year no matter who moves out.
1) you can not pay the rent and be evicted
2) you could find a roomate to move in with you and ask him to leave or have him escorted out
3) you can go to your landlord and have a talk with him/her and explain the situation and ask if there is anyway they would kindly let you out of the lease - if you do this make sure you point out that he is being violent and punching holes in the walls.
SOme landlords are very understanding - and if they know the place is being destroyed they arent going to want him there and if they know you cant afford it yourself they avoid the legal hassle of an eviction by letting you out of the lease
Either way I would act on it and take some steps so you can get out of there or get him out because you dont need him around if he is being violent and if your truly not happy than there is no sence in prolonging it
2007-11-06 17:12:03 · answer #2 · answered by country_girl 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, it looks like there some misunderstandings leading to you two unable to arrive at a consensus of peace. Way I see it, you two need to sit and discuss; this might even amount to breaking up and living together for a year. If that's what it takes, then so be it; you'll see that coming to a consensus is the best thing to do. You two might even end up being friends with benefits and find this 1year, in your life, as the most fun and learnerd!
Don't be scared; you're a woman; you have more strength over him than you know. Soft talk him (be affirmative at the same time). If there's no way you two can reach a consensus, ask your parents or relatives for help; they'll be proud n happy to help you afford to break the 1year lease.
2007-11-06 17:05:02 · answer #3 · answered by straight_up 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Guess it just shows that even after a couple years you don't really know what a person is like. You've lasted this long so you should know how to communicate, if not that just might be the root of the problem. Try and find a public neutral (not at home) setting where you can talk it out without getting into a screaming match. You're mature enough to realize that you might have made a mistake, and so you have to deal with the aftermath. Unfortunately there are always consequences, the only way to get through it - is to try your hardest to work it out. (If he ever gets violent with you - screw the bastard and immediately leave him with the lease to worry about. He'll never take you to court b/c he'd have to admit what he did).
2007-11-06 16:59:24 · answer #4 · answered by DNJ84 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How bad can a lease breakage be? I bet if you told your folks how he is behaving they'd spring a few hundred dollars for you to break your half.
Not wanting to break a lease may be one of the worst excuses for staying in a relationship like yours that I've ever heard. You will make hundreds of thousands of dollars in your lifetime. A few hundred dollars today isn't going to make a lick of difference. Worst case scenario, put an add on eBay explaining your situation and have people send you a few bucks. You'll make enough to break your lease.
It's good you gave this a "test run" now and didn't find out it wasn't going to work after your honeymoon...
2007-11-06 17:13:52 · answer #5 · answered by Big Red Ten 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't afford to stay with someone who is showing violent tendencies either!! Now that you've experienced what often happens when people move in together use it as a life lesson to lay a strong foundation to a relationship before commiting. And when you find the right one, commit with marriage. I have to wonder if your boyfriend is stressed because he's beginning to face the reality of bills and responsibilities. He's probably thinking he's in too deep and afraid he may end up married....or a father.
2007-11-06 17:01:23 · answer #6 · answered by missingora 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This sounds like an abusive and potentially dangerous relationship. One of you should stay in the place to complete the lease and advertise for a roommate and the other should hightail it out of there!
2007-11-06 17:06:34 · answer #7 · answered by Plexed 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to remove yourself from this situation ASAP. Who cares if you have to get out of your lease, money problems are much easier to deal with than dreading going home each night, walking on egg shells, wondering what you are going to do to piss him off next. Go to your landlord maybe they will let you leave. When he is at work pack your ****, get out and don't look back. You wil be so much happier, it will take time. I am sure that he says he is sorry and will not do it again. Obviously he will and does, you are going to end up depressed and miserable. You live one life is this how you envisioned it??? You have you to blame if you stay. I know that is harsh, but true. You can't live like this. You are going to end up getting hurt...he is going to end up hurting you,
2007-11-06 17:01:11 · answer #8 · answered by jennynorris73 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps one of you have a friend that would like to move in and share the lease. That way one of you could move out.
Is that possible???
By all means do NOT continue living together under these condtions. It is NOT healthy for either one of you.
2007-11-06 16:57:37 · answer #9 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well...if you both signed the lease, he is legally responsible for half of it...as are you. So if he moves out, he still has to pay for it. Vice Versa with you.
Otherwise, you need to figure out what the penalty is for breaking the lease.
Either that, or stop paying rent and get evicted....but it goes on your permanent renters history, so I don't recommend it. But if you need to get out, then you have to do what you have to do.
2007-11-06 16:53:03 · answer #10 · answered by Helen Scott 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would find a friend who wants to move in with either you, or him.
They can then rent a room and share the costs.
If you move out, and a friend of his take over the costs, get your name off of the lease.
2007-11-06 16:54:02 · answer #11 · answered by Elsanto diablo policeman 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋