my fiances ex wife is 3 years older than him and i'm 10 years younger than him...but i'm still feeling insecured by her now and than..if she was going to steal him away from me again...am i rushing into marriage ?or am i just being paranoid..he keeps reminding me that we are going to be together soon..but this is just isnt enough with me..i dont even know what is that i want?please help..
2007-11-06 16:08:36 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
if you have these concerns, you should really think about actually walking down that aisle. you are walking into a marriage that already has one factor that is going to add difficulty. do you really want to do that? marriage is a lot of work as it stands. you don't have to add various factors to complicate things before you even get married.
2007-11-06 16:15:06 · answer #1 · answered by perennial 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand you completely. Although he wasn't married to her, he was with her 9 years. She is 5 years older than him and i am 10 years younger. He never had a bad word to say about her, rarely had anything to do with her but even still i felt like i was competeing against her and at times just wanted to walk away to avoid being hurt if she did come back... which was utterly ridiculous when i look back now. The only advice i can give is that time with him and to create your own past will help immenseley..it really does just take time. We have been married 10 years soon. I met his ex for the 1st time last year and he was just perfect... he knew i was in an awkward spot... but he made it bareable. Trust in your fiance and if you really can't do that then maybe marriage to him just isn't for you.
2007-11-07 00:29:25 · answer #2 · answered by Shazela 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is the nature of their relationship now? Do you feel like he has moved on enough to devote himself entirely to you?
It sounds like if you have doubts, there could be several reasons why. If they are newly separated/divorced, then it may be too early for him to jump into another marriage.
But if you are confident he has healed and ready to give 110% to the relationship you two have together, I would try to take a deep breath, relax and take one day at a time. You have a lot to look forward to. Count your blessings and live each moment to the fullest with the man you love.
Wish you the best.
2007-11-07 00:15:14 · answer #3 · answered by bob 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, if you don't know whatt you want you need to address that NOW and tell him. Be honest. To not be sure about marrying him for any reason, and then going ahhead anyway is a huge mistake. If he is marrying you, his ex wife won't be abble to steal him away- he loves and wants to be with you now!! BUT i can strongly sense a generation gap here... maybe you should consider that age thing too. Talk with him about your concerns.
2007-11-07 00:31:17 · answer #4 · answered by Renesme 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The ages do not matter. Why are you insecure about her? Why6 would you think that he is going to go back to her? The are split up for a reason. If he does go running back to her do you really want him anyway? Forget about the ex and just worry about the two of you.
2007-11-07 00:36:58 · answer #5 · answered by kim h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are being paranoid indeed....His ex wife CAN NOT steal him from you....What is she going to do? Put a bag over his head...throw him into her car...take him to her home and keep him caged in the basement? If you can't get over your insecurities...then I would advise you not to get married...
2007-11-07 00:13:40 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
than sweetie you dont need to be getting married. you need to be in somebody office on the couch talking about whats going on with you emotionally. this woman probably is not even thinking about you man but you are allowing her to steal your joy and she is not even making an effort to do so. sweetie let it go. get a grip. seek some counseling. GodBless
2007-11-07 00:16:42 · answer #7 · answered by Crystal G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
y u insecure? is he still a part of his life ? r they in touch? does he see her?if in doubt then dont do it wait until u r convinced by yoself and by him
2007-11-07 00:13:43 · answer #8 · answered by bravo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋