Being a Martyr: I have told many times, that I can't be happy.?

Question

I am always sick (not hypocondriasis), always complaining and when things are fixed, something else is wrong. I don't know what this is called. I honestly feel that things aren't right in my life, and that some people victimize me. I guess this just isn't the way things are.
What do I have? Why do I feel this way? Is there help out there? I want help...

Answer 1

the first thing you need to do is to get a good physical examination to make sure that there isn't some physical ailment causing this. Next talk to someone about how you feel, a counselor. I wonder if it may be just that you lack self esteem and what you are feeling is the result of trusting people who can't be trusted and then feeling sick about it, or perhaps there is some psychological reason for the way you feel and a counselor can help you figure that out.
I will give you a link to a good book which can help perhaps but see a doctor first and then if necessary a counselor but if it is just your self esteem this book may perhaps help. Good Luck to you

Answer 2

You may have some sort of mental illness. Go to a community mental health clinic and get a work-up. There is no harm in finding out. If they find something is wrong, you can either take their meds or try some alternative methods. Even a mild mental disorder, like depression, can cause you to be ill (physically) all the the time. Once you understand what is going on, you will not be so ill all the time. It may not cure you completely but it will definitely help you have a better quality of life.

Answer 3

Well you are obviously dwelling on the negative things, instead of focusing on what is positive in your life. Also it may be your way of getting attention...but doesn't work to make friends....they then want to avoid you.

No one enjoys listening to a person's woes, illnesses, etc. especially when they never end. People are trying to make you notice what you are doing.

If you are not feeling well...does anyone else have to know?
think instead of the other person and what they want to hear....and keep the negatives to yourself.

You are going to have to start noticing what comes out of your mouth....and say only what is good, what is true, what is enjoyable to hear, and what is good that has happened to you.

Since I am a Christian, I will quote what God says...."to think on what is lovely, what is true, what is honest, what is of a good report and to think on these things"....because God knows it is not a healthy attitude to think on the other side.

Just try practicing to say only what is good...if you have negative thoughts...don't share them....and soon you will start having a more positive attitude. You have to look for the good in your life....thank those who help you, etc.

It is called "counting your blessings"....having a thankful attitude. There are lots of people worse off than you...and make yourself a joy to be around!

Answer 4

I wouldn't call this being a martyr. But there is obviously something wrong. How old are you? I'm guessing your pretty young. But there are ways to help yourself feel better.

The first thing you need to realize is only you can make yourself feel better. Nobody around you is going to be able to do it for you, nor should they have to.

The second thing you need to do is just try to relax. I know this sounds dumb. Its like telling somebody with a sprained ankle to just not hurt. But it is possible. Like happens, bad things happen. Its not just you. Trust me on this. We all have things that upset us, hurt us, make us feel scared, inadequte, etc. Even those that seem to have it all together, and don't have any worries, do. You can't let yourself be a victim. If bad things happen, don't let those bad things become you.

The third thing you need to do is try to see the good in your life. Even if its small. I know it may sound strange, but when I get really really down, I look at my cat. He makes me happy. He is something I have in my life that isn't wrong, bad, mean, or hurtful. He just is. Sure he does bad things, and I could live without him clawing at my bed and ruining it, but otherwise he makes me happy.


As for people victimizing you, if people truly are taking advantage of you or whatever, don't let them. Don't put yourself in a position to be walked all over. If these are "friends" cut them out of your life. Try to surround yourself with people that make you feel good about yourself. Like I said before though, its not others jobs to make you better. You can't expect everybody to be nice to you all the time. Friends fight, they sometimes say things they shouldn't. Occasionally they do things they shouldn't. They are only human. A true friend isn't somebody you get along with 24/7 its somebody that you can sometimes not get along with, but still love and care about.


If you just can't seem to "snap out of it" and get back to "normal" then maybe its time for some proffesional help. If you are young, go to your parents, a teacher, or other trusted adult. Even your doctor can help. Same goes if you are an adult. Get yourself some help if you need it. Life is only as bad as you make it. If you want to be happier, then you can. You just need to work at it.

I have a history of depression, cutting/burning myself, as well as a jaded outlook on life. I know how you feel. I struggle with this EVERYDAY! I have made my way out of the worst of it, and struggle to keep from going back into the "darkness." If you truly want to change, you can. But if you don't, you won't. Its that simple. The world is NOT going to change to suit you. You need to learn to deal with the world.

Answer 5

I don't think you are a martyr. Maybe some cruel people see you as a victim since you (in your body language) portray yourself as one, and they unfortunately pounce on you. I see a very good therapist because I am clinically depressed with a touch of bipolar disorder and it would be good to talk this over. See a professional. Good luck. And please don't be so hard on yourself.

Answer 6

honey, it sounds like you have been spoiled. As a baby and child we expect everything to be centered and right for us. When we mature, we realize we are not the center of the universe, but just a speck of dust. You just need to focus on what is right with your life. If you think nothing is, try visiting a veterans hospital, or a children's hospital. It will open your eyes and your heart. Good luck!

Answer 7

Your entire psycological issue is illustrated wonderfully in your sentance structure. You are self centered, but can't directly control your environment, by your own self-sabotage.

You are nothing like a martyr! It's called being a cry-baby or whiny.

Jesus was a martyr. Dr. King was a martyr. You are a spoiled brat that doen't take responsibility for her own life. It's your fault your unhappy, obviously!
...just telling it like it is.

Answer 8

your self pity is your biggest obstacle to happiness

stop feeling sorry for yourself and start feeling happy, no one else can 'feel' happy for you, and one good way to do that is to volunteer to read stories to children who are in a Hospice

once you see that people who are dying and in pain can still smile and feel happy, then maybe you will stop whining

Answer 9

it called depression.
i used to suffer from it too.
then i told y mother
how i was feeling and she took me to a shrink and
things started to get better for me.

maybe you should talk to someone.
if your mom isnt the kind of mom
you can talk to.

you should try i close friend or maybe
a teacher or something.

you should give it a try.

Answer 10

It's called looking at the world thru a keyhole. If you think too much, that happens.