Another poem.. thoughts please???

Question

I hate you,
and you hate me,
we decieded this long ago.
Our hate is not real,
our feelings uneven,
we both have somewhere to turn.
We understand,
we've figured it out,
our problems no longer exist.
Like brother and sister,
we walk and talk,
and yet we're somehow indifferent.
We know nothing more,
than the other one does,
and honestly we could care less.
So what are we now?
we are only just friends,
but somehow we're like eachother.

hmmm.. i doo see what you all mean. I'm more into a emotional mood than into a reflecting.. so thats probably whats effected the way it was written. I don't know.. when i write poetry... i write "blindly".. meaning whatever i write is just a train of thought that i automatically write down.

Answer 1

I like it, and if damlovash is so good, let him post a poem he wrote, and to enlighten him the second answerer says too telly to everything. To it I say "Too Troll". So therefore it gets a thumbs down from me also.
Write well darlin, these folks know not what is good.

Answer 2

I don't know why the second answerer got a thumbs down; this poem is too "telly." By that, she means that you "tell" too much, and don't "show" anything, by use of concrete imagery. Instead, the narrator's voice is too present, using nothing but abstractions to convey emotions. That's the very definition of bad poetry, sorry to say.
Plus, the first two lines seem to be a deliberate antithetical rip-off of that infernal Barney song. Zounds!

Answer 3

I agree with Dondi. This poem is just fine. it can use a few revisions but all poetry can use that. I rewrite some poems 50 times befor i begin to like it

Answer 4

Too "telly."