Some people just don't want marriage??

Question

I am one of them. I am 19 and won't be getting married ever. I just don't want to live with some one else I am getting an apartment next year and want to live on my own. YA YA people change, but my mind is made up on this one. Also why do people say your not grown up untill ur married. Cuz I get comments like "when you grow up and get married and have a wife", Im like uhhh not getting married and I am grown up. Why you gotta be married to be grown up doesn't make sense. So ur saying people who never get married never grow up. Well that is dumb and has no back to it. I guess people think there is something wrong if you don't go with the mainstream and do what everyone else does. But I have been going up the stream my whole life and thats how I like it don't care what people think.

no pretty much everything is the same rap music only always been, I have always worn the same clothes sweat pants or other mess style pants and tee shirts, cuz they are comfortable.

Answer 1

Ha! I remember when I use to say that. LOL

Answer 2

I feel the same way to an extent. I dont want to get married until everyone else is free to do so as well, and even then I have some major issues with marriage within myself. There are many reasons 1) WHY? what is the difference between loving someone and spending the rest of your life with them and a piece of paper 2) Gays are not allowed to get married and even though I am straight I personally would not feel comfortable exercising a right that not everyone else is allowed to exercise 3) The state I live in (Ohio) has a law that states a man cannot be found guilty of rape if its with his wife (wth? if I say no its NO dammit I dont care how many rings you have on your finger). As for legal reasons, thats what wills, power of attorney, etc. are for. But, I think many (not all) people do it just because it is a mainstream tradition, its sad really because from the time we (girls) are young we are heavily geared towards marriage so that when you meet "Prince Charming" who comes and "saves" you from singledom, it becomes "yeah I love him and I wanna be with him forever even though Ive known him for a year, we're going for it". Like I said its sad, Im waiting for the day when more and more women can save themsleves and THEN commit to a relationship for the rest of their lives. And it is always so condescending when people say "oh dont worry when you are older you will change, or you will change when you mature" I can name more successful relationships of people who didnt get married than those who did. and Im all for living on your own at least for a bit, I cant even describe the feeling it gives you. Dont worry if people dont agree thats because most people are brought up to get married and have kids and to ultimately put it before a career,exploration,etc. thats why its called MAINstream it what most people do. Its a cycle, and if you want to be different there is nothing wrong with that in the least.

Answer 3

I think that it is great not to get married. I think while you are at it you should get a vasectomy so you don't have to worry about kids either.

I am serious...

I have a good friend who new he would never get married or have children and he got his vasectomy at I think 20 years old and now that he is in his 40's he still says that it was the best decision he made in his entire life.

I wish more people would realize that they don't want to get married and have children instead of doing it in order to obtains some semblance of social norms.

As to the maturity issue... As long as you are able to support yourself and are not a drain on others or society and are not harming others then you are doing fine. Besides, being "grown-up" is over-rated (though being responsible means you can buy a house some-day).

Answer 4

Wow. Well I can tell you, when I was that age I was anxious to get my life started and settle down. But here's the thing. I spent all of my twenties worried to death that wouldn't meet the right one, settle down and have kids. Society places that label and thinks that if you're married etc then you must be mature enough and grown up. Not true. Mentally and emotionally I wasn't grown up back then. I've had many dates and boyfriends and chose not to settle for just anyone. I'm 36 now and I've been in a wonderful relationship for over a year now. We still aren't in a hurry to settle down. I didn't care what people thought of me and I still don't because I'm comfortable with who I am and in my skin. Most are not. When you get older, your tastes will change and so will your point of view. Just don't skip out on opportunities of friendships etc that could lead to anything =)

Answer 5

Well, I see you just needed a space to vent, and I glad you got all of that off your chest. But I'd like to respond by saying whether or not you get married is up to you! Its a personal decision, and its not a right or wrong thing. So if you don't feel like it is for you! It doesn't make you any more or less of a person. But I think you misunderstood what they are trying to tell you! I think they are trying to tell you that at 19 you don't know everything! You just don't! You can't really say what you will and won't do until your in the situation. You may not change your mind on this one, but trust - there are going to be a lot of things you will change your mind on! Now if you turn 34 and you still have the same exact opinion on everything in your life since you were 19! SEEK THERAPY!!!

Answer 6

I'll know that you are grown up when you stop using cuz rather than because and ur instead of you are. Otherwise, you sound like a child trying to make a point. Having said that, I do not place marriage as the barometer of maturity. Many people are not suited for marriage and should not get married. Perhaps you are one of that group.

Answer 7

Count me in!!! I'm definitely not for marriage, and will be happily single all my life. You can always have a meaningful relationship even without getting married.... that's just a paper that's sooo overrated and which only causes trouble when things don't work and you want to leave but the wife/husband won't let you. It can be hell..... no thanks, I'd rather save myself the drama. About growing up........ men never grow up even if they marry 10 times LOL.... so what's the difference. You have a point but you don't need to be so angry..... so what if others don't agree with your opinion??? Some People don't agree with mine either (I don't want to have kids either).... well, their problem, not mine!

Answer 8

You're such an angsty child. Why are you asking these questions? Looking for approval are you? Still a bit 'mainstream' then aren't you? Now, there's nothing wrong with not wanting to get married, or being a momma's boy, but there is something immature about desperately seeking approval of everyone. Face it, not everyone is going to like you or agree with you.

For example, I'm never having children. This gets me comments sometimes, but I just shrug 'em off. Maturity, get some.

Answer 9

That's great.

I'm betting that when you were 8 you wanted to be a fireman too. How'd that work out?

If you don't want to get married or live with anyone that's fine. Just don't go cutting of body parts 'cause you think you won't need them.

Never know what the future might bring.

Answer 10

bravo for you. the last thing you should do is get married because that what other people think you should do. i think people who think like that are just jealous. the truth is marriage, kids, its a bunch of work! it can be hard, there are all these twists and turns to navigate around and it's not just you, there's these other people who look up to you and depend on you so the pressure is on! but that doesn't mean your "grown-up." i know plenty of married people who i really wouldn't consider grown-up and plenty of single folks who i do.

Answer 11

believe it or not you might change. think about something you were very into when you were younger, like certain types of music, style of dress, or types of movies. your music taste might be more broad now or you might have decided you don't care for horror movies anymore. you might change your mind about marriage as well. you are still young and you should definitely live by yourself first before considering moving in with a girlfriend. this is the age that you need to explore. you might think you know everything now and your personality is set, but trust me there is so much more to experience and change you mind about many things. marriage has its legal benefits and rights that you might consider when you meet someone that you care about.

when i was your age i constantly worried about will i meet the one. then i turned 25 and i said the hell with it, let me have fun, this stereotype is not for me. Then a year ago i met my current boyfriend and fell truly in love and i changed my mind. we live together now. its not about being grown up, its about making a mature decision that is right for you and right now you really don't need to worry about that so soon.