öö Can you write an amusing story about a BLIND DATE that includes 6 of these titles?

Question

Nope...Not homework....just wholesome,creative fun on YA.

1. A desperate prayer in a desperate hour.
2. Funny....... You seemed so normal on the phone.
3. Just wait until I get a hold of my friend for setting up this debacle !!
4. Humph! The looks of Jayne Mansfield and the voice of Tweety Bird.
5. His face could scare live bait right off the hook.
6. It was Karaoke Night at The Lone Star Cabaret.
7. Just when I thought it couldn't get worse, ___________.
8. Take me, God. Just take me.
9. The Kevin Costner look-alike saved the day.
10. Are you SURE I'm not on, "Candid Camera"?

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Answer 1

(6) It was Karaoke night at the Lone Star Cabaret, a place I frequented often. I decided to meet my blind date there because if it didn't go well, I could alway kill some time away from her by getting up on the stage.

The way my friend described his cousin, I was expecting much more than I got. (4) Humph! The looks of Jayne Mansfield and the voice of Tweety Bird indeed!!! It was more like Mike Mansfield and one of those birds from the Hitchcock movie. Not to mention the tattoos (Jesus Loves Biker Broads for one) and the purple hair. My first thought when I realized she was my date was "(2) Funny...You seemed so normal of the phone." When the first words out of her mouth were "What the ef is this...an effing Karaoke bar?" My only thought was (8) Take me, God, Just take me. I figured it was going to be a long night.

(7) Just wait until I get a hold of my friend for setting up this debacle. That's the last cousin of his I'll ever date. I knew right away I would be spending a lot of time on the stage and signed up multiple times before they even started.

Sitting just to our right at the bar was what appeared to be another biker or an extra from the movie Alien. I don't want to say he was ugly, but if he was a fisherman (5) his face could scare the bait right off the hook. Apparently God heard (1) a desperate prayer in a desperate hour because during my first song (a stirring rendition of the theme from Gunsmoke) (9) the "Kevin Costner look alike" saved the day by engaging Ms. Tattoos in conversation. By the time finished the first chorous, they were heading out the door.

As blind dates go, it didn't turn out too well for me, but my friend told me today that his cousin is getting married on Saturday. It's being held at the biker bar about 15 miles from town. If I can get my moped working, I may attend the festivities. After all, it could have been me exchanging dog collars with her. I think they are registered at the Harley Davidson store, so I will stop by there to pick up a gift on my way.

Answer 2

I was desperate...I hadn't had a date for weeks, after a desperate prayer in a desperate hour, my friend called and offered to set me up on a blind date. I reluctantly agreed thinking, "is this the way my prayer is answered?" The guy calls me, and we talked for over an hour...seemed nice, has a good, actually a great job, and has never been married, so no baggage there. Friday, he says--it was karaoke night at the Lone Star Cabaret, and he thinks that would be a good place to meet. "Sure," I think..."it's dark, and we won't have to converse much, over the singing"....On Friday, as I am sitting, waiting for him to show up, I get nervous...why does he have to be late? I start thinking of all the "bad things" that could be happening. Suddenly, I hear my name, and look up, his face could scare live bait right off the hook, and he has decided to introduce himself by singing karaoke and dedicating a song to me...I'm thinking"Take me God, Just Take Me." Why couldn't he just be normal and come over and introduce himself? Just when I thought it couldn't get worse, the song he dedicated to me was his Elvis impersonation of "Hound Dog." I wanted to crawl under the table. Does the man not have any couth about him? The waitress came over to take my drink order...I asked is this a reality show, like are you SURE I'm not on Candid Camera??
She laughed, and assured me this was not a television show.
If all this wasn't bad enough, he managed to find a couple more songs to croon. I left before he got down off stage..I couldn't take it anymore. On the way out, I met a bouncer who looked like Kevin Costner....we exchanged phone numbers and he is supposed to call...so the night wasn't all bad...I guess you could say the Kevin Costner look-alike saved the day.

Answer 3

The Blind Date

He said he would promptly pick me up at 7 ish and I was beginning to feel a little impatient tapping my foot and constantly checking my watch. It was 7:20. pm only 2 minutes past the last time I checked. I don't usually make it a practice to agree to a blind date but I had made a promise to my friend that I would show her cousin, Dave, a nice evening while he was visiting from out of state.

[It was Karaoke Night at the Lone Star Cabaret] again and I didn't want to be late. I have been attending faithfully if not also religiously every Saturday night since it began earlier this year.

I heard a car door slam and peaked out the curtain to see if it was finally him then quickly readjusted the curtain before he noticed any movement. The street light cast a vague shadow on the willowy figure walking up the sidewalk. I held my breath in hesitation and wonderment. He knocked on the door.

"Hey there, Miss Julie" he said holding out what slightly resembled a bouquet of assorted flowers.

I felt my eyes widen in dismay and much bewilderment. [His face could scare the live bait right off the hook]!

" Oh. here, these are for you". He smiled proudly at me just like a kid would present wild flowers and dandelions to his mother.

"Oh, thank you! " I choked, and when he handed them to me some of the broken stems drooped over the side. I didn't know whether to laugh or to cry. "I'll just set these in water and I'll be ready to go." I went into the kitchen, lifted the trash can lid and quickly snapped it shut.

" Everything all right , Miss Julie. You sure them flowers are gonna be okay, I never heard no water running''

" They'll be fine! Just fine!" I said.
"Alright then. Let's go do Karaoke! "

By the time we arrived, they were taking their 15 minute break and so we sat way down in the far corner , the darkest corner , where no one would recognize me, or at least I hoped . We made small talk and he told me about his family down south in Texarkana. Several ended up serving time, including himself , and his brother shot a man just for snoring.

"Gee! [Funny you should tell me this) you seemed so normal on the phone!" I gasped as he went on and on . God must had been listening to my silent pleas as I prayed [a desperate prayer in a desperate hour] because Karaoke was just getting restarted.

[Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse] he jumped from his seat, ran up and grabbed the karaoke microphone and began singing, Justin Timberlake's, Sexyback. [Humph! The looks of Jane Mansfield and the voice of Tweety Bird] trapped in a man's body. I covered my face in embarrassment. ['Take me, God. Just take me. Now!] I thought.

Everybody in the Cabaret was in an upheaval as he continued to roar out , "I'm bringin' sexy back. Them other boys don't know how to act. I think it's special what 's behind your back. So turn around and I'll pick up the slack."

When it was finally over, he stood there on the podium looking blankly at the jeering crowd. He grinned that same awkward grin. "[Are you SURE I'm not on , Candid Camera?"

I just wanted to go home! [Just wait until I get a hold of my friend for setting up this debacle!" I thought.

" What's wrong there, Miss Julie?" He asked with such sincerity and concern. "Why, you don't look so good. Are you feeling all right. Should I fetch a bucket fer ya, incase ya need to throw up?"

"Please! I pleaded, Take me home, just take me home.

Answer 4

It was Karaoke Night at The Lone Star Cabaret, and I had figured it was as good a place as any to meet the blind date my best friend Ellie had arranged for me.
She had said he was a "real sweet guy",which usually translates to "Butt Ugly" but I figured, what the heck, you never know! His name was Oscar and I planned to meet him at 8;30 pm.
I had arrived early and went to the Ladies room to freshen up in preparation for our meeting.
I stared at myself critically in the bathroom mirror and adjusted my cleavage to achieve a more eye-popping angle.
"Humph! The looks of Jayne Mansfield and the voice of Tweety Bird...Why can't I sing as good as I look? "
I lamented out loud.
A horse-faced woman who had been in one of the stalls, and who had overheard me, came out. "Be glad it aint the other way around sister" she said, looking at my bosom with a horrified look on her long face. I ignored her!
As I emerged from the bathroom I saw him! He had told me he would be wearing a black stetson and black cowboy boots and there he was!! He had already scared off a few hags that were seated at at the bar and he was all alone.
His face could scare live bait right off the hook and when he got up off the stool to greet me he only came up to my cleavage!!
"SILVA, I'm PLEASED TO MEET YOU!!" He gushed.
He grabbed me in a bear hug and brushed his sinfully ugly mug against my chest. I shuddered!
Just wait until I get a hold of my friend for setting up this debacle !! , I thought as he slobbered all over me!
As if God could hear my thoughts, the emcee came on and asked for the first singer to come up.
Just when I thought that it couldn't get any worse Oscar waddled up to the stage. All eyes were on him, most amused, some horrified, and I also saw a few looks of pity coming my way...the NERVE!!
His singing , unfortunately , was WORSE than his looks!! Even my Tweety Bird voice sounded better than he did!
Thank God the song ended prematurely, the tape had started to skip!! (the result of a desperate prayer in a desperate hour!)
The next guy up, the Kevin Costner look-alike,whom I had noticed earlier, saved the day. He sang a BEAUTIFUL rendition of "Love Me Tender", which softened my heart a bit towards the vocally and visually challenged Oscar!
I excused myself and while in the Ladies Room decided to give Oscar another chance! Maybe he had other qualities not visible to the naked eye! Perhaps I needed to REALLY draw him out. This was my mindset as I emerged from the Rest room, ONLY to find him making out with the hose-faced woman in one of the booths!!!
"TAKE ME GOD,JUST TAKE ME!!!!"
Was all I could think!