For instance, should the cheatee go out and have a fling to even the score? Would this prove anything?
2007-11-06 11:12:24 · 21 answers · asked by Angelonearth 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hi Jen,
That seems to be the norm nowadays. "An eye for an eye". No wonder, divorces & separations happen right & left. When someone is hurt because of a partner's infidelity, the 1st natural thing to come to mind is "revenge". But it only aggravates matter. You end up flinging with someone you have absolutely no feelings for. Ain't that making a fool of yourself?? For what? Just to make him feel bad, right? What about you? Do you feel great cheating as well?? You never fight fire with fire because the battle will rage on & will not stop. You douse water on fire. That's the real antidote against fire. Funny, so few people get to see this clearly. As the saying goes, "don't make hasty decisions & actions when angry, because when you cooled down, almost always you end up regretting it." By then the crack in your relationship has grown two-fold. How many relationships were salvaged because instead of focusing on "revenge", the aggrieved party decided (as hard as it it) to forgive instead.
2007-11-06 11:34:53 · answer #1 · answered by BERNARD C 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No. Although, it sounds like it would be great to do, to get back at your cheating spouse, it doesn't and won't help the situation. It would probably make you feel even worse. Besides, who knows what kind of diseases are out there, besides worrying about pregnancy. You have to be a better person, and figure out what you want in your life.
You have enough on your plate, you don't want to add to it by making the same stupid mistake your partner did. If you want to move on, then move on. But if you want to try to work things out, then I would suggest marriage counseling.
Either way, I would suggest counseling so that way you have someone to talk to without completely alienating your friends and family with the situation. Cheating is a difficult thing to get over, and you will with time. Life is not over. Things will get better for you, once you figure out what you want in your life. Good luck!
2007-11-06 12:04:03 · answer #2 · answered by Monica C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not at all. The only thing this would prove is that you're just as bad as the cheater. Have some morals and take some pride in yourself. That's the least you deserve. Look after yourself and your confidence... no-one deserves to be cheated on, I feel for those that have been betrayed in that way. I never have... so don't know what that is like... can only imagine. However, don't lower yourself to that level... like the others say - Rise above it =)
2007-11-06 11:21:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Definitely not...... because you won't gain anything from it. I don't think you'd even hurt the cheater's feelings because if s/he cheated on you in the first place it means they don't care about you.... so you may hurt their pride perhaps, but they won't be crying over your cheating back. The only thing you'd prove by doing that is that you're a liar such as the person who cheated first. Better just dump them and move on.....
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2007-11-06 11:30:05 · answer #4 · answered by Lprod 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should never seek revenge for anything. It will just place you at the level of the person who hurt or wronged you. Now who wants to lower themselves to that level?
Good luck. The meaning of life is to be the best person you can be.
2007-11-06 11:15:39 · answer #5 · answered by box of rain 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
why would u want to lower yourself to their standards? just leave the marriage with your dignity and u will keep your self worth and confidence. revenge rarely hurts the other guy, because if they loved u and valued u in the first place they never would have cheated on u in the first place. cheating on them will only hurt u and make u look bad.
2007-11-06 11:23:16 · answer #6 · answered by jude 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It would drop you down to their level. It isn't worth it, and it doesn't make you feel any better. In fact, you feel worse because you've done the very thing you hated about the other person.
Be a better person. Be the good one.
2007-11-06 13:11:03 · answer #7 · answered by latebreakfast 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would imagine doing something like that would make a person feel worse, not better.
For me, I would simply divorce. I don't want to be with someone who isn't faithful - I don't have that kind of time and I value myself too much.
2007-11-07 01:23:47 · answer #8 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No! it wouldn't prove anything. At the beginning and end of each day, you still have to look yourself in the mirror and when you allow hurt and/or devastation to compel you to be someone other than who you are, you put your own character and integrity at issue.
2007-11-06 11:29:55 · answer #9 · answered by WhyNotMe 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would only have a fling because I wanted to, not to get even.
2007-11-06 11:26:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋