Epidemic
Written by Semper Fi Reborn
I caught it from a stranger.
Having never met this person,
I shook their hand in greeting.
All in a friendly manner.
I was immediately infected.
I knew something was different the next day,
When I got immediately out of bed,
With a song in my head,
And my heart seemed to keep time with the beat.
Then my legs got weak.
I was infected.
In that moment of realization,
All I wanted to do was spread this thing inside me,
Anonymously.
Continuously.
So I did.
Over and over and over again.
Until it reached you.
See what I have has no cure.
That day,
I caught,
Joy!
I vowed to spread it!
2007-11-06 10:51:29 · 26 answers · asked by Semp-listic! 7 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
lol semper some people have no clue poetry doesn't have to rhyme, it's about how it makes you feel. Your poetry I get it to bad most people don't . It's like a smile someone gives you a smile and then in turn you smile and handed on to another . a feeling of a good mood that is contagious and is so contagious that it passes on to others. Hope I clarified this for others who didn't understand it. Keep up the good work semper and please don't mind the ignorant people of the world who don't know better. Love and Peace to all.
2007-11-06 11:31:19 · answer #1 · answered by fire and ice 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
A good start here. Maybe you could try to surprise the reader more at the end by not giving a clue in the middle that the speaker is infected with joy. Possibly take out the lines "With a song in my head,/ And my heart seemed to keep time with the beat," this might help with the surprise. You could also probably take out the line "having never met this person," we know this already because it's a stranger.
Some lines are too "telly." One of the main things in poetry is to "show, not tell." The flow of the poem is off in a few places.
2007-11-06 20:09:41 · answer #2 · answered by anautumnrayne 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
well, it's creative. but i can't seem to detect any sort or rhythm, and your rhyming scheme is... odd. I don't know, it's a good idea, but I'm really not a fan of free verse. It's too unlimited. What separates free verse from prose? Some line spacing and indentation, but that's about it.
2007-11-06 18:56:46 · answer #3 · answered by cranberry 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I loved it, particularly the ending, though the rhyme scheme was a little different it all worked out in the end. And "dude" why don't you go back to hell?
2007-11-06 18:56:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I love poetry! and I love the many ways such literacy can be interpret....and to this poem I give it a 10!
2007-11-06 18:55:19 · answer #5 · answered by RedSparkle 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow great poem; and outstanding ending....nice work Semper FI As Always!!!!!
2007-11-06 21:17:19 · answer #6 · answered by Cami lives 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
more like a rap
see if you can put some rhythm in it...i think that would make a nice rap composition.
2007-11-06 19:07:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It makes me think of some very special people I've met on here who know how to spread joy to others................like you brother. :))) ***hugs***
2007-11-07 03:45:55 · answer #8 · answered by beano™ 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well it made me slightly uncomfortable because I thought you were talking about an infectious disease, which obviously was your point.
I'd keep trying!
2007-11-06 18:55:48 · answer #9 · answered by Jen 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Whoo! And spread it you did my friend *^_^* This made me really happy, Thanx *^_^*
2007-11-06 20:01:26 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋