How can I help my son? He has experimented with drugs.?

Question

Yesterday, after a long fight with my son. He admitted that he has been doing some weed one of his friends gave him an unknown substance, powdery white that he snorted also. I was in total shock and disbelief, my husband of course had a fit when I told him. How else can I deal with my son..

He just started the 10th grade and is hanging out with bad kids.

We have been there all along. I am an ER nurse and I work 16 hours a day and my husband is a firefighter and he is not home all the time but we are there for ryan.

Answer 1

He's so close to being one of the "bad kids" himself.
It's time to be drastic. Take him to a visit to the local juvenile detention center. Show him that all of the good jobs will require a drug test.

He's a kid without a clue. You can ask him what sports is he going to try out for. If he says, "uhh, I dunno," your retort should be, "If you don't sign up for something, I'm going to sign you up myself."

I didn't have the initiative as a kid to sign up for summer baseball, or some church camping trip. My mom did it for me. I rarely went to that church, but that didn't matter.
Most of those dopeheads do it because they are bored. You have to be the one who signs him up for some after school activity. If you think it's bad now, it's going to be worse as he gets older. I know a lot of women my mom's age who had a son exactly like yours 20 years ago. Not one of those stories had a happy ending. Your son is heading down the path of low paying jobs, jail, and sponging off you for the rest of your life.

the ultimate main reason why I have never even experimented with drugs is that I wasn't friends with anyone who did.

Your problem is not unique, Look what happened to Philadelphia Eagles coach Andy Reid : http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/11/05/AR2007110501794.html

Answer 2

You should start by calmly asking him why he did it and just listen without judging him.
He may regret it now, and feel a bit silly, he could have done it to fit in with these 'friends', or he might be attention seeking?
You should try and find out why before working out what to do!
You could point out that there are certain websites that could give him some information on all the different drugs out there, such as www.talktofrank.com and you should read them yourself. They are very informative and give you completely honest information!
Smoking weed just out interest, also causes a tobacco addiction, which causes its' own problems!
You need to try and steer him away from these 'friends', rather than trying to ban him from seeing them!
Suggest various clubs, hobbies, sports and interests that would take him away from these 'friends' and introduce him to others that aren't into drugs!
Be there for him, and make sure he knows you won't freak out when he tells you things, so he knows he can talk to you, as he will not be deterred from doing anything you don't approve of by a negative response, he'll still do it, but more secretively, and then you'll have the added problem of not knowing what he is doing!
It is a horrid predicament for any parent to be in.
I know, I've been there!
Persevere and you'll get there in the end!
Good luck!

Answer 3

Where has the mother and father been when the boy needed some attention? Yes, get with the picture, the boy is self-destructing and you and the father are the only Ono's whom can halt this progress, however if you wait long enough then the boy will end it himself most likely! So he has experimented with some kind of drug, now why do you imagine he did that? Because he is in Pain! Look at him! Yes, again I stress the fact he needs a mother and father FULL-TIME! Get yourself counseling as a family and make sure you come along! and bring the young man also.
Volunteer Counselor Western Illinois University

Answer 4

Hi. I am 20. I have (of course) done my experimenting. All with marijuana though. no powdery substancing. He more than likely new what he was putting into his nose. His friend wouldnt pay good money for a drug that he didnt know what it was.

I can tell you that there is not much that you can do to "force" your son not to do drugs unless you keep him under lock and key. There is no way my parents could have stopped me and luckily it was only marijuana in my case.

The main thing that i think you should do is let him know how much it hurts you to know that he is doing this. That is what really broke me. My mom found my marijuana and it really made me feel bad knowing that it hurt her.

All you can really do is try to make him understand that there is no future in it... no life at all and it will only lead to problems for him in the future. But if he really has in his mind that he wants to do this and he is really in with a bad group of kids then i am afraid that there is not much help for him... you can only help someone to certain extent, then it is out of your hands and in his... the ball is initially in his hands.

As long as you do everything in your power there is no reason for you to be on a guilt trip. At 16 (i presume that is his age) he is already getting into his mind that he is his own person and if going to do what he wants. He must know that as logn as he lives in your house, then it is your rules or the highway. Be strict but loving and know that by caring, you are ultimately doing the right thing... good luck.

Answer 5

You need to make it real for him. Show him what people end up like only too often. Show him the darker side of life that you have been sheltering him from all these years. Show him the bums on the street and the people who OD or get shot for drugs and are in the morgue. Show him what it is like in a prison or jail.
And you have to talk to him. Get inside his head. Find out what's going on in there. He needs somebody to talk to about the things that he and all of his other friends are so curious about. Your a parent but try to be a friend too. They want to know things. And you need to find a way to help him to discover and unravel the mysteries of things that he is curious about, but safely and guided. If he wants to know something then would you rather he asked you?
You have to learn to balance giving him freedom and trusting him to go the right way. But then do this with an ever watchful eye at the same time. Be a family that he wants to be a part of and be a good example for him.

Answer 6

You are not there for your son, You need to spend more one on one quality to as a family, doing things as a family, from the sound of it you are working way to much and your kids see very little of you, the world has raised them, you had better make some changes now, I am sorry this is happening but I have seen this story played out a thousand times, I retired from being a prison worker, You must change who he hangs out with, his friends, they have to change, his whole outlook about drugs has to change or it will get worse, You can make the changes if he respects you, Good luck, if you go to church get your pastor involved, take him down to the local jail and let him see the results of what drugs can do. Whatever it takes, do it now!!

Answer 7

im in junior high so i know alot of people who have ethier tried or are trying it.you cant just get angry at him u have to understand that this is just a stage he is going through and he will never get over it if you just get mad. all that will do is pull u 2 farther apart.have some alone time make a day were its just u and him.
dont be nosy but talk to him and if he wants to tell u let him but if not just make sure u know u both feel comfortable. the closer you get the beter he will feel, and since he is probaly doing this not because its cool but because somethings wrong all you can do is get close but comfortable

Answer 8

i dont know your kid but its probably just a phase, i think the proper actions should be taken but rehab? thats a little extreme unless hes out of control, every high school kid will experiment ,its 2007

Answer 9

get help for him like rehab. and watch him closely dont let him out of the house other than school and dont let him talk to his friends again. but be encouraging and help him stop.