What are the pros and cons of being obsessively selective?

Question

ET: I wasn't just referring to relationships :)

Pros: 1- Get to enjoy high quality 2- Stay focused & don't get distracted by non-sense since the elimination process is rather quick. 3- Progress--since the standards either have to be maintained or upgraded to higher

Con: 1- Since elimination process is quick, there is room for error.
2- I'm considered "too uptight" since I don't have much flexibility.
3- When something meets the standards, I constantly have to check and double check to make sure it really does meet the standards (indecisiveness/hesitation/), hence the obsessive part.

Answer 1

You've pretty well listed the pros and cons. I, myself am of two minds on the subject (as I like to think I am on most subjects). Any lists of pros and cons would just be re-iterations of your own, and I get wordy enough.

The major con I experience is parcel to the 'obsessive' part of the question, i.e.: spending so much energy on deciding that I no longer have the energy to carry out selection properly. That is to say, expending to much energy on making the decision, rather than carrying it out.

The other is missed opportunity. I can point to many examples of when, in my life, I dithered around so much about the right and wrong of wanting a particular thing that I missed the fact that said thing was already mine, all I had to do was reach out my hand. Also, when being exceedingly selective, it is very easy to leave realism behind. What I mean is, the difference between what I want and what I deserve/earned/can handle.

Answer 2

I don't feel comfortable with the word "obsessively", but can understand what you mean.

For me, some pros:
- Avoid repeating the mistakes made.
- Finding the qualities that I'd like in a person (intelligence, humour, open-mindedness, for example), so the interest will be long-lasting from my end.
- It provides certain safety and stability.
- Having an idea (at least for some or most part) of what I'm getting myself into.

For me, some cons:
- I also like spontaneity and exploration, being obsessively selective can take away from the excitement of discovery.
- There is no guarantee that this person is necessarily who he/she portrays to be, so even while being selective, other undesirable traits might surface with time.
- Connected to the above mentioned point, there is no guarantee that this person will not change, as people often or sometimes do, so being selective might have only served its' purpose for some time, not the long run.

If any others come to mind, will come back and edit a post.
How about you ET?

Edit: Ok, I gotcha. ;-) In other aspects, I would apply most of the same concepts, but leaning towards that particular area.
I like stability and the comfort of 'knowing', but at the same time, enjoy suprises and experiencing new things in any area of my life.

Answer 3

Con: You find it hard to make decisions, or those decisions are made very slowly, resulting in missed opportunities because of being too selective at times, in retrospect. I have suffered from this analysis paralysis.

Pro: End up with a higher quality "product." You maintain high standards. Less volume to deal with, based on being selective.

Con: Makes it very hard to come up with what you perceive to be a decent answer to a question.