We have agreed that no more money will be spent this week, and I found that a purchase was made when I got an auto notice of an overdraft! I am very upset. He's coming to pick me up at 5pm. How should I handle this? Our anniversary is coming up in a month. Do you think he bought it for our anniversary? I don't want to run off the deep end.
2007-11-06 08:43:33 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
How can I wait unti the anniversary without my stomach turning upside down everyday???
2007-11-06 08:50:28 · update #1
He did mention that he was thinking of plans for our anniversary yesterday after work.
2007-11-06 08:52:15 · update #2
He just called to tell me that he ran out of gas, so he will be 15 min late. I did see that the car was on E this morning. While we were on the phone, he said that he still can't find his ATM card! It's been missing for about 3 days.
2007-11-06 09:04:56 · update #3
tell him you got an overdraft notice, and tell him the amount, but tell him you didnt make a purchase in that amount, and see what he says, but whatever he says, just agree with him, and wait and see what you get for your anniversary next month, and if its not anything from victorias secret, then you can rake him over the coals, just keep todays date and the amount written down so you have your proof, i hope he got you something really nice!!
2007-11-06 08:52:13 · answer #1 · answered by oh really 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am not sure I could wait a month to see if the pretty wrappings were for me! I would have to ask, siting the overdraft charge, and see how he responds. If he tells you he doesn't want you to have it yet, the drawers are a gift for someone else. If he fesses up and gives it to you, you should just count yourself lucky. Most men buy anniversary presents on their way home from work! Ya'll might want to have a chat about how much those overdraft charges will mess up your next weeks' finances...He is probably just being sweet, but the bank won't understand that! I just saw your added details...I have just one question- Who in the hell waits three days after losing their card to report it? Either his tale about a stolen card is true or he could be just trying to hide his tracks! Your man's card is stolen and only one purchase is made from VS? Most people who steal cards max them out before the day is over. Maybe he knows he has been busted out by the bank and is now looking for an excuse for his purchase. Let us know how it turns out!
2007-11-06 08:57:19 · answer #2 · answered by Really now 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Victoria's Secret trumps a bounced check. Wear it once and then return it for cash.
Now as others have mentioned, if all you get for your anniversary is a homemade card, then the Iraqi Shiite will hit the fan.
EDIT: This guy sounds like a real financial winner, loses his ATM card, can't keep gas in the car, bounces the account after you reviewed the budget status with him, etc. How about for an anniversary present to him, you serve him Divorce Paper Surprize?
2007-11-06 09:00:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Be honest with him and yourself. Tell him you got an overdraft alert because of a purchase that was made yesterday. More than likely he will tell the truth. The surprise will be ruined but at least you will have your answer. Trust him until he gives you reason not to. I doubt he would make a purchase for someone else if you take care of the finances.
2007-11-06 08:56:21 · answer #4 · answered by vivian M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think the people telling you to wait for your anniversary didn't read your question. You said you agreed that NO more money would be spent this week. He betrayed that agreement, whether it's for your anniversary, to give to his lover, or to satisfy his transvestite fantasies. Show him the overdraft and tell him to return whatever he bought immediately. If my spouse went behind my back and did the opposite of something we had agreed upon, I certainly would not see that as trying to be "nice" as some people above me have stated. I'd call it something else entirely, like irresponsible. If you asked me whether I would prefer to have a mate who buys me presents, or would I prefer a mate who keeps her word, I'd take the one who keeps her word every single time.
2007-11-06 08:56:34 · answer #5 · answered by Happy-2 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just think this he bought you sexy lingerie so that both of you can have hot stamy se and be happy together it okay think of it that way. And well the money donn't stress now if after your anniversary you do not get anything then ask yourslef who he bought it for. Question yourserlf then don't stess no and tell him need needs to pay the overdraft fee for his purchas that is all him will probably you no you no so still act suprised when he gives it to you. Be happy my husband never gives me thiese things.
2007-11-06 08:55:34 · answer #6 · answered by Lost 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One way to handle it would be to come to him and say, honey there's been an overdraft notice on our bank account, I'm so upset, this tears me up with stress, can you help me figure out a way for us to live within our budget.
Don't even mention that you know where the charges were made....act like it doesn't mention that. Your biggest problem is spending issues...he has no self control and you are the one who has to rein him in. Been there, do that....patience, understanding will be your friends.
2007-11-06 09:04:27 · answer #7 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If everything in your marriage is great, then don't question it. If you have had doubts of him cheating, then you could maybe suspect something. Are there times he is unaccounted for? Does he makes excuses to go places, etc.... I'd say he probably bought you something from the store for your anniversary. Has he in the past? I'd think that if he were to buy that for another female, that he'd be smart enough to pay cash. If it's really eating at you, just ask him. But at that point, if it WAS for somebody else, he could always lie and say it is for you... and then go buy something for you there to make it legit. I'd wait and see......
2007-11-06 10:17:21 · answer #8 · answered by Shelber 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him about the overdraft but dont' tell him that you know about the victoria's secret. If you don't get lingerie for your anniversary, then confront him about it. CAll the bank and report the card missing though, just to be safe.
2007-11-06 12:54:15 · answer #9 · answered by abrennan01 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I bet he bought it for you. If you ask him now, and he says it was for you, you will probably think he was lying. If you do not ask him, your stomach will churn until the anniversary date. Look around the house, see if he hid a gift. He may have hid it at his job though. Ask him to give you hints on what he gave you, say you want to get an idea on how much to spend on his gift. Make up something, but find out who he bought that gift for.
2007-11-06 08:58:09 · answer #10 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋