he asksl me to wait for him.... he says he was coming to be with me....and since makes every excuse to stay home with the ex...he comes over daily for an hour helps around the house and leave for his ex-wifes house....Should I continue to wait for him or should I let him go?
2007-11-06 08:37:07 · 22 answers · asked by workingal 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Im not the reason for the him and his ex wife getting a divorce, however I have known him for many years...we worked together for 9 years.....then I left and ran into him 4 years later....we started chatting...I was involved with someone else...I broke off that relationship in hopes of starting this one...he was going thru his divorce....when we ran into each other..
Once they were divorced he gotten an apartment....but never moved out of his ex wifes house (he gave her the house).
He had the apartment and I helped him by giving him things from my house to start setting up his own house..however he said he wasnt comfortable there and never even spent a night there...
I have my own house, and he would come over for about an hour or two and leave for his ex-wifes house again...
The reality came when he said he was leaving when his son went to trade school...well here it is 1-1/2 years later his son is out of trade school and moved back home..and he is still living
at home
2007-11-07 08:09:18 · update #1
Let him go and, find a man who is single. He is using you and, you are letting him...He has two woman and is getting away with it....If he is divorced and he has his own apartment that he doesn't even live in..He is wasting money and every ones time...
2007-11-06 08:40:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever even seen PROOF of this divorce he aparently has?? Something about this situation doesn't make sense to me....
~"he even HAD an apartment"~ What happened to it??...are you sure they (he and wife) wern't just on a seperation and they "got back together?"
Anyway, from the details you've given it seems pretty obvious that he's not over his (ex) wife. And that he wants you to wait for him alright.... keep waiting, keep waiting, keep waiting and what are doing while waitng?? Wasting your life for one and secondly giving him what he wanted in the first place....extra sex. He's probably sleeping with her too you know. And how long do you plan to keep on waiting for him 1 year, 5 years, 10 years?? You're worth so much more than to be ANYONES second choice.
He helps you around the house?? Wow you don't come with a very high price tag do you.....
2007-11-06 17:17:24 · answer #2 · answered by busymum 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you really have to ask? You know the answer, come on hon!
Walk away, get your keys back from him or change the locks. Go out and find the real man that deserves to have your attention!
This guy isn't going anywhere with you - he's staying with the ex. If he hasn't broken ties with her in 1 1/2 years, he's never going to...
Good luck!
2007-11-06 16:42:25 · answer #3 · answered by Mirage 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh my God, leave and find yourself a life. You cannot 'wait ' any longer for a man who does not have any intention of leaving his ex wife. If the divorce wasn't enough to get him to leave his wife what hope do you have? It may be heart wrenching, but you have to look after yourself because he obviously does not care about you enough. He is keeping all his options open in case one of them backfires. How nice is it to be an 'option' and not the one he wants to be with?
2007-11-06 16:45:06 · answer #4 · answered by dopegirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think deep down you already know the answer to this. Unless you want to grow old as a mistress (because thats what you are) the I suggest you kick his *** into touch and find a new group of friends to go out and find another free, kind guy who is willing to put you first. Guys like this do not change as long as you are helping in his lifestyle hang ups. He obviously sees his wife as more important. Dump and get rid. You owe it to youself
2007-11-07 10:42:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't be silly!
This guy has no interest in you.
In fact him and his his future ex-wife are both happy with the situation.
It makes it exciting for them both.
The fact that he supposedly has a girlfriend, makes him a sought after value for the ex-wife. She probably enjoys the fact that she is using him for sex and makes him cheat on you.
As for him, having you as a back up can make him pretend to his wife that he is not seriously interested in her and wants to keep it light.
So, they are having the best of both world at your expense darling.
Two words: Move on! Ditch him! Let go!
It's a complete waste of your time and of your feelings.
xxxx
2007-11-06 18:14:44 · answer #6 · answered by Kc 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let go. It's a hard thing to do. But there are still some attachment issues. How is he with you but still with his ex? I f he had a space of his own, and still wouldn't use it, he made a choice. Now it's your turn to make one. Do not let this guy take advantage of you. There is someone for everyone. Now, dump the zero and keep your eyes open for your hero.
2007-11-06 16:42:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to let him go he is just using you for when he gets tired of his wife and that is not far for everything get this he is having sex with her at the same time he is having sex with you you do not need to be in that situation find a man that is free and whats to be with you. This man is just using you do you always want to be called the mistress. because that is what your are a MISTRESS
2007-11-06 16:51:26 · answer #8 · answered by Lost 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The man that is pre-courting me , is going through a divorce notice I said pre-courting, I will not allow him to court me until his divorce is final. Courting means with the intent to marry, he knows he will marry me, we are not in a sexual relationship, he respects me to much to touch me without a ring. Anyway when a man is serious about divorce, it's over, my man, left the state he was in VA. and moved to PA. He shows me the divorce proceedings, he has no excuses, he has no ties to her, even when he wanted to see his daughter he had his father bring her to PA. Your being a total fool. stop settling learn to love yourself. So you can be loved properly. He has you on stand-by.
2007-11-06 16:53:02 · answer #9 · answered by The Mrs. 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why would you want to stay with someone who obviously isn't over his ex anyway? Move on, honey, and find a man you don't have to share.
2007-11-06 16:40:44 · answer #10 · answered by Kathy R 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋